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What do I do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by InkStain, May 21, 2012.

  1. InkStain

    InkStain Guest

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    Hey guys. Well, here's me dilemma. I recently just broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. She had a lot of issues, such as depression, etc. Do to this, we decided to end things because it just wasn't healthy for either of us to be together right now. I want to get back together eventually if things work out, but I keep having this looming thought on my mind.

    Even back when I dated guys, I kept falling for people that had a lot of problems in one way or another, and they end up dragging me down with them. It just gets to hard to deal with. I tell myself every time not to go into those situations again, but it just seems to keep happening!

    Any advice on why this may be?
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

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    I can understand the urge - I think it's something that many people (myself included) have found themselves doing at one time. For a lot of people it seems to come from the urge to help or reform said person. On the surface, it's an admirable - even noble - impulse, but it rarely works out. Dating someone with the intention of making them different than they are when you start is not exactly a healthy approach (you basically start out by falling for someone else).

    If you think this is part of it, then you might try fulfilling the urge to help people elsewhere than in your relationships. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Give friends and (where appropriate) family a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk to. Post more on EC. :slight_smile:

    On the other hand, if you just find yourself statistically more attracted to people who have problems, but aren't especially invested in "fixing" them, something else may be going on. In other people you've dated, what issues do they typically seem to be dealing with? Does/do that issue/those issues remind you of anyone else you know?