Been a while since I've been on here, some may remember the problems I had with my ex-bf who cheated on me 2 weeks into the relationship and kept it a secret whilst chasing after the guy he cheated with on the sly and treating me like shit in order to get me to dump him (apparantly he lacked the guts to do it himself). Well got all that over and sorted and forgave him and stayed on speaking terms. Recently he readded me to his facebook, saw he'd got into a new relationship (on 12th may) already just 5 weeks after we ended with a guy he's never mentioned before and never been seen around since before May. Even spent 4 days in Edinburgh with him where they got together. I know I shouldn't give a shit but for some reason I do...I don't know why, maybe its the fact he moved on so fast is the final proof he didn't care about me or maybe I'm just angry he didn't suffer and consequences or commupence for his behaviour and how he treated me and ended up coming up smelling of roses with a shiny new bf whilst I'm still putting my emotions back together. This happened to any of you? Thanks.
I haven't been in a situation like this before (I'm 14 and I've never had a bf before), but I do have some advice. I think you still have feelings for him, you are still in love with him, or at least have strong feelings towards him. I think you need to stop thinking about him, and facebook is not helping with that. You could unfriend him, and when you've finally gotten over him, you can friend him again (or not). I've also heard some people unsubscribe from a person on facebook, yet they're still friends on facebook (I don't know how to do this). Maybe you should try finding another significant other to take your mind off of your ex. This is just my advice, but I have never been in this situation before. I hope it all works out.
Well I wouldn't be jumping into another relationship, rebounds never work. I'm not sure, I huess the fact I'm annoyed by him moving on so fast could be due to having residual feelings left but at the same time ever since I (thought) I got over my feelings for him I've been able to see clearly how badly he treated me so maybe it's just that because I'm now seeing things clearly I'm realising just how unfair it is that he can waltz off with another guy so soon and not suffer any consequences for his past behaviours.:bang:
Well, it hasn't happened with a boyfriend, but yeah: I have had occasions where I spent significant amounts of emotional investment, only to find out that it meant much less to other people. There was this friend that I spent almost every day at uni with, and who never talked to me again afterwards. Guess I stopped being useful, despite me considering him as one of my best friends. And I know two other good friends of his that he just stopped interacting with overnight as well. And since he has a pretty successful academic career, is happily married and apparently has found new friends to spare, I'm guessing he didn't really get any bad repercussions from it... I'm not exactly vengeful, but it does seem pretty unfair when I care to think about it. But hey, sometimes Karma is a dish served cold. If your ex is the kind of guy who never stops to think of the repercussions and will only use a boyfriend until the next flavour of the month comes along, then he'll probably not be happy for too long with this one either before he dumps him (or cheats and hopes the dumping will come from the other side). If he does it to often, he'll eventually run out of options to date. That shouldn't really be a cause of joy for anyone, but all actions have repercussions. Just not immediate ones. Maybe more to the point: why are you insisting on torturing yourself with all of this? Knowing about his new BF and especially where they spent their time together means you invested some time in stalking his FB and connecting the dots. This hurt feeling is normal, but aren't you also just searching for it? There is such a thing as saying "hey, no hard feelings, let bygones be bygones", and then just never interacting. This guy is rather toxic, and you don't need that. If you can't avoid running into him, then so be it, but you don't need to have him on every social network and occasionally looking him up to rub your own face in it.
I don't know why I torture myself with it, I really don't :/ I tried blocking him so i'd never have to see him about except if I bumped into him at a mtg tournament of a friday or whatever but then it drove me mad wondering what he was doing and with who...one of my friends asked me if I'd ever actually get back with him and when I thought about it the answer is largey "only if he has a personality transplant by losing all the decepiveness and lies and actually learns some emotioanl maturity", in other words...not likely at all. I dunno, it could be because I've never been treated this badly that I'm keeping tabs on him waiting for him to get his commupence so I can enjoy the schadenfreude, he seemed so open when I first met him but then the first time we tried things he got gradually more moody, deceptive, unpredictable and secretive over the 5 months. When he came back saying he'd changed and knew what he wanted I thought he really had until he cheated after 2 weeks and I only found out by accident. Then 5 weeks after the second split he's got someone totally different...I don't know it's like I never really knew the real him and the real him is ugly and self-serving and it offends my sense of propriety that he can just carry on regardless. I don't know how torturing myself over it helps any though....I really don't but I still do it : /
