I'm sort of considering maybe (wow I sound certain, don't I!) coming out to a friend as questioning. He's a really close friend and he's gay and came out when he was around my age. The thing is, I'm seriously confused as to who I actually like; I could be straight, gay or bi or anything in between. I know he wouldn't have a problem with it but I'm really nervous about telling anyone and I could just be barking up the wrong tree anyway. It would be nice to have someone to talk to other than online though. And a second opinion might help. At the moment this question is fairly theoretical, seeing as we're living in different cities for the summer. I just wanted to get some opinions and at least give it some thought. What do you guys think? And if you're out yourselves how would you react if your (very shy, seemingly almost asexual) friend brought this one up?
Try testing the waters with him by asking how he would react if a friend told him they were questioning their sexuality. Try doing it in a bright, cheerful tone (with texts/instant messaging start the conversation off cheerfully) so it just seems like a question to him instead of one about you. If he responds they way you want him to, it would be safe to disclose your secret. If not, hold back and say something about a friend coming out to you (they don't even need to be real). Personally, if a friend told me they were questioning their sexuality, I would encourage them to explore it.
Erm, if he IS gay, then I don't see how he wouldn't be anything but supportive. But to be honest, in my opinion, I would wait a while until you get it atleast half-way sorted out before telling anybody. Just to avoid the awkward conversation of back-tracking. If MY friend brought this up, then of course I would help them with it, that's what any good friend would do, right?
It might actually help if you have some one to talk to about it. You should deffinately tell him. It isn't like he's going to have a problem with it!
I agree with all the advice above. You should come out as questioning to him, and then you'll have someone to talk to all of your feelings about. I think it would be more helpful to talk to him than trying to figure everything out by yourself. I hope all goes well with him!
I'm not worried about my friend not being supportive. That's really unlikely. Actually I'm more worried that he'd be too supportive and drag me out of my comfort zone faster than I can handle. That might be panicky-me talking there though. I mean he's not out that long himself and we both come from a very isolated,conservative part of the country. I'm sort of caught between these two; and
I agree with you continuing to explore it a bit before you tell someone, especially if your fear is that he will drag you out of your comfort zone. If you think he might have that reaction, I would definitely wait until you are ready to deal with that happening. On the other hand, if you decide to tell him, I would really stress to him that you aren't ready to come out about your questioning to anyone but him. I would say don't do anything you are not ready for because once it's out, it's out.
