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why I'm scared to take the steps in relationships?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rainbowfox, May 24, 2012.

  1. rainbowfox

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    I'm kinda social, i can talk and participate in debates easy (In social debates or discussions about art and things like that), but when it comes to personal and one to one relationship I think i kinda get scared to take the steps, even in internet i have problem to add people in facebook or even here. when I'm talking about arts, i feel the other person is interested in work of the artist but when it's becoming personal i feel why the other person should be interested in me?
    Do you have any advice?
     
  2. Dalmatian

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    I don't know about you, so I can just say why I am, if not scared, certainly inept in these things. I am a fairly open person, although closeted to general public. When it comes to any theme at all, be it science, sports, art, politics, religion, human rights or anything really, I am at ease and can voice my opinion easily. Why? Because there's a simple way to do it: you acquire knowledge on a subject and that's it. When it comes to sexuality, I am as experienced as a teenager and twenty years ahead of a teenager in denial. I am just now learning how to react. So it's difficult.

    I'm afraid I don't have an advice really. To me, honesty is kind of a solution I'm aiming for. With coming out there will be nothing left that I feel uncomfortable discussing, so I hope with the fear/worry of coming out all other problems in this regard will disappear also. I already see the signs of it. So I'd say honesty, first to yourself, then to others too. Of course, in your case it's more difficult, but instead of "everyone" you can count on "people you trust".
     
  3. rainbowfox

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    actually i didn't mean when it comes to sexuality, but I think you are right about that.
    the thing that really hurt me, is that when I can't develop a friendship, when I'm not able to start a personal conversation, when I can't even believe someone like me as a friend, how can I believe someone love me?
     
  4. Dalmatian

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    Right, I didn't understand that well :slight_smile: The most of what I said stands. As far as I see it there's just the difference between situations where there is one right answer (like knowledge on a particular artist) and situations where you are not backed up by objective data (like dealing with other people).

    The only way out of that is I think experience. So try to meet new people and it will be easier with each one. You are at a university, there must be a bunch of people there :slight_smile: Get into a club of some sort, music, theatre, sports, book club, whatever you like really. It will be much better if you find something you are passionate about. Learning new languages is always a good idea because you get to be with people who are tested to be at the same level as you are.

    And if anywhere you can relax it's the internet, when it comes to chatting about everyday things at least.
     
  5. rainbowfox

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    yep you are absolutely right :slight_smile: experience is the key :slight_smile:
    thanks :slight_smile: