So I've known her for about 7 years or so. We've been really close friends - practically like family since I've gotten to know her. We do a lot of stuff together; went to homecomings/proms in high school, went to football and baseball games together, we go to dinner (as in just the two of us) when she visits from college (since I'm at a local university and she's 6 hours away), and in general hang out when ever we can together. She's my best friend. Now that I've seen her for the first time since I've come out (not to her), I'm worried. For the longest time, I've had a weird feeling that she might have a crush on me, even though nothing has ever come of it. I want to share this amazing thing about me with her, but at the same time I'm worried that if she did have a crush on me, it will strain our relationship. And I'm really not sure what to do, since I'd like to tell her face-to-face before she goes away this summer (at which point I likely won't see her for a few months). I just don't want to mess things up:help:
One of my close friends (girl) had a crush on me. She told me she had but obviously nothing has come of it. I fabricated it into a story of liking her as a friend but not more than that (well actually it was the truth). Today we're still good friends, I'd say even better than before she told me she liked me. Another story. One of my other friends (also girl) had a crush on a guy. She tells the guy. Guy tells her he's gay. She was sad about it for a while but knew she couldn't make him like her and change his sexuality. They're still good friends too. It's only two examples but from these two I'd say it's safe to come out to her without straining the friendship. Unless she's super homophobic (but in that case it wouldn't work anyway) side note: I LOVE YOUR AVATAR Edit. No idea if any of this actually helps...
if you are coming out and are happy about that and think its amazing, then share it with your best friend. she may have a crush on you and she may or may not take the news well. since she is your friend she will take it well but if she had a crush on you she may feel some disappiontment inside but not share it with you. the bottom line is, you can't control what she does or how she feels. you just have to be you. i'm sure you have had a crush on a guy before and imagining getting up enough courage to tell him you're gay and you like him and he says, "i'm not gay". well it's the same situation, you are being authenic and so is he. he can't control how you take that news but he has to be real with you.
I've had a similar situation, but she wasn't really my 'best' friend and straight up told me she likes me. I'm not out to her, but I think if I do, it might ease her up a little bit because she's now trying to pursue me. Since you're not sure how your friend feels about you, you could probably benefit from coming out to her before it drags on into something more complicated. If she doesn't have feelings for you, then it'll work out, she will likely be supportive (or hopefully she will since she's your best friend) and you guys can go on being good friends. If she in fact does have feelings for you, I think this might give her some peace of mind too. She's probably wondering if you feel the same for her and how she's suppose to go about this. If she knows for sure, she knows for sure. If you've ever had a crush on a straight guy friend, it'll be like that. Once you know the guy's straight, you don't have to keep wondering or pursuing and can go on being his friend if you're both cool with it.
how do you handle this? this happens to me alot. hard to "befriend girls" without them trying to push really hard for something romantic. then when you decline or ease away, you're the bad guy or the one playing games when really you were only being nice and she took that as a license to aggressively pursue you. i had this girl i met continue to invite me out to hang out. i didn't want to be rude so i accepted. we just met each other as friends. but then when we hung out it was like she was trying to make it a date. on two other occassions when i saw her and she was around her girlfriends, she was very touchy with me and it made it look like to the girls she was around that we had dated or were dating. i did not like that. i felt it was intrusive. women sometimes do this these things and aggressively pursue guys like they are men.
I was in this situation as well a couple of years ago. When I found out she liked me, I went to a movie with her, planning to tell her afterward, not even thinking that she might construe it as a date. Oh boy was that ever a mistake! When I realised that, I completely chickened out and ended up having a very awkward four hour phone conversation and an even more awkward week following it. So, the good news is now you know what not to do. :lol: The bad news is that there's no easy way to do it. You're going to have to arrange a time to speak with her and simply say it. Of course, you have to be prepared for her to be upset, but it's possible she might take it in stride. That's really all the advice I can give you, though. Good luck, and keep us up to date.
I know right? Guys and girls really aren't meant to be friends lol. Girls will either like you too much and wanna be your boyfriend or they don't like you and stay away incase you like them and it's awkward. Just a massive headache all around. To answer your question, I'm not handling it. I'm staying away but unfortunately she's not backing down and can be outright predatory like you pointed out. :rolle: I think the only way I can put an end to it is if I out myself because to her "not interested" apparently means "mayyyybeeee". I suppose I'm the one giving mixed signals because I still see her as a friend and continue to interact with her, which in the dating world really does mean "maybe". I don't know, it sucks. Lemme know how things go with you haha
