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Finally Came Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Blue Eyed Panda, May 24, 2012.

  1. Blue Eyed Panda

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    Well little over a week ago I finally came out to my family and the rest of my friends. It's relieving but at the same time i'm not feeling as great as I thought I would be.

    My parent's did not see it coming, which shocked me. Everyone says 'your parents always know' and the fact they didn't even consider the possibility struck me. My mum took it fine, she cried and hugged me and basically explained she was fine with it. My dad however was not like my mum.

    He basically did not look at me as I told them. Asked me a couple of questions of how I could possibly know so young? If I had a 'partner'. He also referred to the news as a 'bombshell'. He did not hug me or tell me he loved me like my mum did. Before I told them I would play through the different scenarios that would happen if I told my dad but I always thought he would at least tell me he loved me and/or hug me at the least.

    I love my dad and I know he loves me but not knowing I have his support or not hurts me. I'm not getting support for my choices educationally and with the lack of support for who I am... I really just don't know. I think the point in this post is just for a slight vent I guess and opinions on the situation.
     
  2. BradThePug

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    Congrats on coming out!! It's great that your mom was accepting of you. Some parents are surprised by their child coming out to them. Hopefully your dad will come around. He may have just reacted differently because he was surprised as well.

    I'm sorry that you parents do not support you educationally. My parents were not supportive of my major choice at first (I am an electronic media sports production major) but I showed them what I was going to be doing and they came around. They were concerned that I was going into a "male" field. Sometimes it just takes time for parents to come around.
     
  3. Dominic

    Dominic Guest

    Congratulations! I'm sure your dad will come around eventually. He's probably just disappointed that you won't have a wife and kids. Just give him time. Again, congrats! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Afraida

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    My parents didn't see it coming either, even though I displayed MANY stereotypical signs of being gay. It probably just took your dad by surprise. Let him sleep on it and I bet he'll come around.
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    I wonder if I will ever post something like that.
    So I am happy you are out and free to live and love now. Congrats!
     
  6. Pret Allez

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    I've heard of worse reactions, but he did not react well. It looks like he was thinking more of himself than you. I have hope that he'll come around, but I am sorry! I bet that really, really hurts.
     
  7. Blue Eyed Panda

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    Thanks for the congratulations everyone, haha! He didn't react well but I agree that it could of gone so much worse but my mum is not the kind of person that would let the situation come to that. I do think it is moments like these that build us up to be a stronger person.

    And Deaf Not Blind, you will one day trust me. I was the same as you - never thought the day would come that I would tell my parents and just be 'out'. When the time comes you'll be ready :slight_smile:
     
  8. Farouche

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    Well, there you have it: parents don't always know.

    You've probably heard this before, but give your dad time. Giving him some more information about sexual orientation might also help, he was asking questions, so maybe he'll feel better once he has learned a bit more.
     
  9. davidroberts

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    congrats :slight_smile: u r really brave :slight_smile:
     
  10. WALK2222

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    Congrats! Sorry about the situation with your dad
     
  11. Insomniac

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    Congrats on your successful come out ! (*hug*)

    I think you should give him some time. There will be more questions and more discussions about your sexuality after this and maybe people around you won't able to handle it immediately. The other thing is that your dad doesn't seems to be supportive at all as you said he didn't support you on your choice about your education so don't expect him to express himself in an obvious way.

    Good luck :thumbsup:
     
  12. EM68

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    Congrats on coming out. Just like the posters above, give your dad some time. Just like you had a coming out process your dad has a 'coming out'. I would not bring it up again to your dad and let him come to you.