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How to get past self-repression?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Silenced, May 25, 2012.

  1. Silenced

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    So, here's the score. I've had a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact I'm into other guys, and as much as I wish otherwise, pretty much exclusively guys. But I figured it wasn't going away, so I may as well just get used to it.

    To than end, I spent some time in the queer lounge at university. I'm gradually getting more comfortable being there, with the exception of one thing. There's a guy - a smoking hot, charming, friendly guy, to whom I was pretty much instantly attracted. That much I admit.

    The down side is, I'm so used to pushing that kind of thing aside, if he's in the same room, I can't even bring myself to look in the same direction as I know he's in. I know he's there - hell, I can't think about much else - but I'm not allowing myself to interact with that feeling. I'm not shy, and if he came and talked to me, I'd be able to play the ropes. I just can't get past the self-repression, even though I want to.

    I'd be curious to know if anyone else has had this issue, or knows how to get past it. Any tips?
     
  2. Farouche

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    I have this issue pretty much every time I'm attracted to someone. If anyone knows how to get past it, then I want to know, too.

    Anyone? ...
     
  3. TheGreyMan

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    It takes time to learn how to have the confidence like that. Really only time gifts you the confidence or allows you to get over him - No mortal secret lay on my tongue or any other man's that would tell otherwise.
     
  4. rainbowfox

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    TheGreyMan is absolutely right, but things that I think worked for me, is talking with friends (undoubtedly girls:slight_smile: ) about cute guys that we see in street or in a movie, expressing those feelings out loud really helps :slight_smile:
     
  5. Silenced

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    Fair points all, especially that last about putting it outloud. Scary, but makes sense that that's the smartest way to get past keeping it quiet. I'll give it a shot. Thanks.
     
  6. DanA

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    Yeah, I do... I was repressed so long that now, I really don't know what I would do or how to approach a guy but I guess it works the same with men as it did for women. I'm just apprehensive about it, which it seems you are too. My advice that I'm going to follow is, try and if you strike out the world keeps turning.

    I'm was thinking about going to try to maybe go to a gay singles bar tonight but I don't want my first gay "experience" to be a one night stand at a bar, and it's a little too early for me, and I want it to mean something so I'm going to try dating websites myself. I mean hell, this site gave me the bravery to finally come out, maybe chatting on a dating site will help me nab a cute one :wink:

    Although... I wouldn't know what to do with it if I had it sooooooo... um, I guess one thing at a time.
     
    #6 DanA, May 26, 2012
    Last edited: May 26, 2012