Advice on befriending a straight guy

I'm just going to be blunt and say that the impression I get from this is that you kind of sort of actually like this guy, even though you know he's straight and wouldnt act on it. You were pretty clear that that isn't what you mean, and I might be totally assuming, but that's the vibe I got.

Partly that the only thing you mentioned about him personally (besides Diablo) is that he's hot. Partly that you're pretty intent on hanging out with him alone, rather than in a group. Partly that most people dont specifically plan ways to befriend an attractive person of the gender they're interested in if they dont kind of like them (at least, not if they already have lots of friends like you said you do).

Again, sorry if I'm assuming. Either way, hanging out in a small group with some mutual friends doesnt sound like a terrible idea. You'll still be able to talk to him and all, and that's probably how most friendships "spontaneously happen" anyways. It's easier not to force it.

 

Those were my thoughts, too.

 

You like him for all of the wrong reasons though, I met most of my straight friends on the basis of liking them as people, not because I wanted to get into their pants. I wouldn't try be friends with this guy because you and I know, you're probably going to make a move one way or another.

I think friends always come naturally, I think he would see that you were interested in him if you asked to hang out and that would probably turn sour. I know for sure that if a guy asked me to hang out or randomly spoke to me, I'd think he was somewhat interested.

 

Then ackowledging that you do like him, I would definitely suggest not trying to get him alone all the time, even if you dont plan on making a move or anything. Dont torture yourself by making it as closer to being a date than necessary p the goal should be to start liking him LESS in a dating sort of way and MORE in a just-friends sort of way.

EDIT: sorry if that's just repeating what was said above, didn't see the posts updating.

 

If that's the case and you do generally just like his personality, maybe just try speak to some mutual friends of his or just join in with a conversation. I just wouldn't directly go up to him and be like 'let's be friends/hang-out' xD.

Just be careful. I'm only a little blunt because I worry about people.

 

Agreeing with all the above stuff, I've never really understand how people intentionally "befriend" someone without some ulterior motive. The best friendships just kinda happen, through time and common interest.

So stick with those things. Keep playing with him in-game (your interest) until you find something else you guys do. And when that something else comes up, then you guys can hang out (preferably with a group, as others said) without it coming off as "awkward", since there's a legitimate reason. You can't just force a friendship.

Though I think what's better advice would be to just distance yourself from him. Stick to playing your game and then whatever happens afterwards will just happen. "Planning" this friendship is still of the mentality that something more will eventually come of it (even though it won't).

 

having a similar problem. bt i know for sure dat i lv my best friend bt i dnt know whether he is bi or straight or gay . i wana spend as much as time possible with him bt i m forced to avoid him since last few mnths to keep mymind sane. he is trying to find the reason why i m avoiding him and i dnt know what to do abt it

 

Well, yeah, that's kinda the definition of "letting things run their course"

Honestly (and now we're going off the assumption that you are no longer into him), think of it this way: Would you really want to be friends with someone that you never see and have a grand total of 1 thing in common with? I wouldn't write him off, but he certainly wouldn't be the most interesting friend I've had...

 

Haha, thanks

And just to clarify what I meant, I didn't mean you shouldn't be friends with the guy, but more that the conditions don't really foster a good friendship, you know? By all means, if a friendship grows out of it, go for it, if you like him (as a friend).

 

well you are crushing on a straight guy and i think you are saying you just want to be friends but you know very well you like him and you want alone time with him becuase you think he is cute and hoping that maybe he likes you. you really are setting yourself up for disappointment if you are hoping that he may like you too. if you want to be friends with him, you would just ask him to hang out like any of your other friends. the mere fact that you are stewing over this and wondering how best to go about it indicates that you are attracted to him and trying to find the best way to get some 1 on 1 time with him without making it look so obvious. my advice to you is to back off. you already said you shoudl hang out. he said for sure. if he wants to hang out with you, he'll let you know. invite him to group stuff first and see if he comes. develoip a real friendship if he is open to that but trying to get one on one and hopping that he is gay is really only going to waste your own time in teh end.

 

I get the impression you like him or you wouldn't be making as big of a deal out of this as you have. Besides, you did say he's hot and nice :icon_bigg

Anyways, from the sound of it, I think you might have some trouble, because from personal experience, anytime I've consciously tried to make someone like me or befriend me, I've failed. Most friendships happen naturally and easily, if you have to force it or try to make it happen, then it's gonna be awkward.

Just be yourself and be chill about it. Don't over think things and treat him like you would any other guy. Be nice and don't be awkward.

have fun :icon_wink

 

Hmmmmmmmm, all of my friends are straight guys, actually. I roll deep in the friend department too... all I can say is just be yourself, respect boundaries, make jokes about your gayness because it will put them at ease and let them know that they can joke about it too (not like, anti-gay jokes, just normal guy stuff like making fun of each other in a brotherhood kinda way).

I learned this, the surefire way to know if a straight guy is totally comfortable with you is if he asks questions like he would any straight guy.