I'm considering dabbling into some casual dating at university, but I have very limited prior experience with it, so I have some questions. Is there an established or common way to approach someone to ask them out on a date? What is the best way to make it clear, without being rude, that it is just a single date for now and not a commitment for anything more? How can I tell, discreetly, whether kissing is appropriate? Is there an etiquette for stopping it at one date if I don't feel like continuing? Thanks.
Disclaimer: I haven't dated so I'm no expert, but here's my point of view: Isn't the whole point of going on dates to see if you're compatible or whatever in the first place? I mean, isn't it kind of implied that dates are a one-time deal unless there's some mutual spark that both parties are feeling, making them want to continue? I feel like if asking someone on a date was asking them to potentially be my boyfriend for the next 3 years, I would never go on dates... Kissing? No idea. I'm sure it's one of those "if you know, you'll know". Just so long as you aren't being really pushy, it probably won't be a big deal. And I think if all else fails, you could just outright ask if they would be okay with you giving them a kiss; apparently some people find this bad, but I think it'd be cute. Stopping at one date... I think it depends on the relationship you had before you started dating. If it was relatively a stranger that you decided to give things a shot with, then I think you can be upfront and politely tell them that you didn't feel anything (but would like to stay friends, if you want that). If it's someone who was a friend, then I think you have to tread a little more carefully... again, be upfront and honest, but maybe just try to not come across as mean. You could also always explain that you much preferred your relationship as friends rather than something more; and if they're really a friend, they should understand that. I think in either case, beating them around the bush just prolongs any potential hurt and doesn't do anyone any good. So so long as you're being honest, while it might suck, it's for the best.
It's quite welcome anyhow. You would think so, but in high school I've had a couple experiences where they assumed that it was going to lead to a relationship for certain and that the whole dating thing was just a formality. It's kind of the dominant mindset here ... I'm hoping that university will be totally different, and I've been told it is, but I'd like to know how to be clear just in case. Hm, fair enough. I guess I would find that cute too if I was asked that. I'll give that some thought. Hm, okay. I don't have any close friends that I'd date, so that won't be an issue.
I only have one thing to add, really, which is the whole "one-date-or-relationship" thing. Dating outside of high school isn't like that. High school is more "wanna-be-my-boyfriend?" than real dating is. A REAL date is as Budder said, to see if there's compatibility.
