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confused abt whom to talk with

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by davidroberts, May 25, 2012.

  1. davidroberts

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    its really disturbing when u r not out and live in a homophobic enviroment wen all ur frens jus make fun of gay ppl and u dnt have anybdy to talk to about it. it feels really lonely sometimes. worse is if u like one of ur friend and fall in love with him and try to find slightest hints of him being like u bt fail on adaily basis. why me? is the question u ask urself evrydy .. any advice???

    ---------- Post added 25th May 2012 at 07:00 AM ----------

    i jus finished my medical school / irony is dat even well educated ppl around me are so homophobic dat one cant dare to come out
     
  2. rainbowfox

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    you are absolutely not alone in these, I experienced/am experiencing this behavior almost every day, but together we will survive (&&&)
    and about your feelings toward your straight friend, I was in love with a straight friend too (some call it a crush but I think it was so based on romantic sensations to just be a crush), it has taken a lot of time for me to recover from the pain and sorrow it brought for me, but I'm ok now. on account of my own experience (which is still really fresh for me) , I think you should let it go, you will find someone great in a short time, just go out more, participate in programs or stuff like that to increase your chance to meet new people :slight_smile:
    And we are always here for you, and i'd be really happy to help :slight_smile: so any time, if you needed to talk just send me a message (*hug*)
     
  3. davidroberts

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    thanks for the reply. i m still getting over him. i go out a lot. but we work in the same hospital and bang into each other evryday. he still is my best friend but i try to avoid him as much as possible. he tries to fix up plans with our grup but wen evr i see him it all cms back. dnt know what to do abt it.

    ---------- Post added 25th May 2012 at 08:19 AM ----------

    and love ur signature caption. i wish der was a world so beautiful :slight_smile:
     
  4. rainbowfox

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    the friend I'm talking about is a classmate at university and I almost see him every day, and yes the feelings come back some times, but they are like bombers circulating around your head, by giving time their radius get bigger and bigger till a day you see they are just gone. Give yourself some time, if it's possible make some distance between yourself and him for a period of time.
     
  5. davidroberts

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    ya i try my best to avoid him. he feels i m cutting him out. we used to meet evryday and talk for hours together. so much dat ppl around us used to make fun of us as a couple. he never used to mind it. but i have to stay away from him to lead a normal life but he includes me in evry plan he makes. i m runnin out of excuses to decline :frowning2:
     
  6. rainbowfox

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    I've been absolutely in same situation, even our families made jokes about us, I truly understand what you are saying, it's a really hard situation.
    is it possible for you to come out to him?
     
  7. davidroberts

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    dats the big confusion. i told him many a times dat der is smthing i wana tell you. but never have a courage to. i m afraid if he freaks out abt it. if he tells smbdy else it will ruin evrything . my wrking enviromnt , friends circle evrything
     
  8. rainbowfox

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    I understand what are you saying, actually thinking about coming out to that guy freaks me out too, and i don't know even if I'll be able to do that.
    can you move to another hospital? (i know it would be a really great thing to do but this should be in mind as an option to if it's possible)
    and is there anyone in circle of your friends LGBT friendly?
     
  9. davidroberts

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    no one at all. i dnt know anybdy who i think can undrstand. i live in an society where homosexuality is really unspeakable i have to wrk in this hspitl till next year due to my bond. later i ll shift for sure. but my frens inlcludin him insist dat they will stay intouch and will plan hangouts as much as possible. now i ll have to give up all my college friends and circle if i want to avoid him
     
  10. rainbowfox

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    i think you should just give yourself some time and space. After shifting huge things can happen for you that most of these feeling will become nostalgic memories
     
  11. davidroberts

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    i m giving myself a lot of time. and i try to be happy but smtimes its uncontrollable. may be now that i have ppl to talk to abt it i ll b able to finally move on. but believe me its the most dificlt thing i hv to do in my life .
     
  12. rainbowfox

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    I do believe you, I experienced almost all the things you are talking about
    we are and we will always be here for you (*hug*)
     
  13. davidroberts

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    now his bday his cmin up.. since last 4 years i planned all his bday parties and gifts. dnt know what to do dis year :frowning2:
     
  14. rainbowfox

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    (*hug*) oh my dear, this would be harsh, but i think the best thing to do is doing the thing you did last years, I know this time it would be hard but I think it's the best to do
     
  15. davidroberts

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    ya i know its not his fault. but what shud i do of my heart. ofcorse wen i ll spend a day with him. he ll again start up thousand topics which we used to talk abt and den i ll have to start all over again ..
     
  16. rainbowfox

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    It's no ones fault. and yes it'll be really hard (*hug*)
    is he interested in movies? you can ask him to watch some movies like "Prayers for Bobby" and see what his reaction is? maybe after that you would be able to make some decisions
     
  17. davidroberts

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    i dnt know. smtimes i really feel i shud atleast tell him. then i will never hv a regret in my life that i never gave him a chance. ya bt out of the blue if i ask him to watch a sad movie with me it will be wierd. he is really a nerd and i call him nerdy for dat . and he thinks a flirt a lot with gals in my batch so he calls me flirty :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  18. rainbowfox

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    I think you should talk to him, but not exactly about that you are gay or something like that, just explain you have some issue in your mind that you can't talk about right now, and you didn't want to getaway from him but you had to, and stuff like that :slight_smile: these will fix your friendship some how and bring it to a more comfortable atmosphere. and I didn't said ask him to watch the movie with you, just suggest it to him. and ask him about that he liked it or not.
    And are you serious about the girl stuff thing? He called you flirty? Because my friend always said that he thinks I'm great with girls and he tries to be like me in that area :slight_smile:
     
  19. davidroberts

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    ya i m really helpful to evrybdy in there family and wrk problems so i m close to many many ppl. they share there problems with me and call up , meet me and share a lot with me. so he ill always get hyper and tease me dat all of them are ur gfs and u r the biggest flirt evr :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    ---------- Post added 25th May 2012 at 10:22 AM ----------

    i was always kinda good with girls . we get along very well. sm of them even like me. but try to keep it till friendship. bt still i get a lot of texts and calls mostly from girls nd he ll see it and then start off
     
  20. rainbowfox

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    We are really the same in many ways :slight_smile:
    and think about talking to him in total bases :slight_smile: i think it will really help