So about two months ago, I finally started to unmask my inner denial about being gay and have started working on accepting myself. I have told a few friends and family members, and have gotten no negative responses...however, I'm still not ready to come out to everyone yet.. I feel like I need to be more confident in myself and more sure of myself..but at the same time, I'm 23 and don't want to waste time in my life....is it ok to wait to come out to more people????
Hi there! It is totally fine to wait before you continue coming out. You are not wasting any time either. It really depends on how comfortable you are at the moment with coming out further. Maybe you have reached a point where you have accomplished what you set out to do. I would just take it as it comes. If and when an opportunity for coming out further arises you can decide whether or not you want to be open about yourself.
All of us in life must make a personal journey to finding acceptence. Whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, or whatever, there is something in life that you must accept about yourself. This is something that you think if other people know about then you will not be worthy of connection. A feeling of not being "enough" (smart enough, straight enough, thin enough, talented enough), and for many it also comes in the form of "who do you think you are?" (I know you hate yourself, I know your mother never loved you, I know that people hate you, you dont believe anything you tell people, you're a fake, you are not worthy). What we know about this, is that it is shame, and it is universal. Everyone experiences it, and the people who are more aware of it, have less, and the people who are less aware of it have more. So you are not alone. You have the inter world to relate to. When you start looking at everyone for their similarities instead of their differences then you see how alike we all are, and how connected we can be. Coming out is only one small step, but it is very powerful. It gives you the ability to talk about your shame, and resolve it. When you have done that then you are able to connect. This is vulnerability, it is the key to all deep connection. The idea that you can make a choice to do something, or say something, and not know what the out come will be. It is a leap of faith, and it is essential to feeling connected. Being the first to say I love you, applying for a job you really want, having sex for the first time, talking about what makes you scared, asking for help, these are all tasks of vulnerability. As for your coming out, you can only move at your own pace to find acceptance within yourself. The pace that you choose to move in entirely up to you. I can tell you however that there is a very big world out there that you have probably gotten a glimpse of. It is exciting, new each day, and holds many surprises. The sooner you reach acceptance, the sooner you may start on a new path into this big, exciting world.
Well you've taken the first step which many find hard. Your accepting yourself which is something I myself I'm finding hard so congrats. To answer your question, although I may not be the ideal person answer, is take as long as you need to come out. It will be a lot better if your more comfortable to come out to world than if you feel you aren't/ But congrats on taking that important first step and enjoy life.
