Hi, I've got nowhere else to go at the moment, so I'm here. To be short: I'm transgender, and I can't take living as a male anymore. It's tearing me up, because I don't know what I'm turning into as I get older. It feels so wrong and it's so bad it almost hurts. I don't know if I need someone to talk to or someone hold me while I cry, or whatever. Please help me, I don't know what to do.
*offers a hug* Sorry I've got to head to bed - but I'll try and give you a more helpful post when I wake up.
Honestly sometimes I just want to cry too, I have been everyday lately. I don't want to be a grown man. I just feel like I won't be happy in the future.
I am not transgender, but I am extremely sorry for what you are going through. It is tough to get through every day while doubting who you are. Please talk to me any time, I would be happy to talk! Hope you feel better (*hug*)
I'm so sorry i'm not trans.. but for gods sake i wish make everything how its supposed to be. You as a woman and such. If you want to talk just message me. I'll be here.
I have to say, I understand the feeling. My situation is different, but I get the pain you're going through. I'm married, and came out to my wife, because it's been tearing me up inside. I want the same thing you want. I want someone to hold me while I cry, to understand. I think I find someone like that, but then they just want sex. It's hard to find someone that will listen and want nothing in return. But for what it's worth, I'm good for that. Message me if you need to. Also, I'm still new here, but everyone here has been really supportive of all the crazy shit I've been through. I think there are alot of people here who would reach through the screen and give you a hug if they could. I don't know if that helps at all, but I hope it brings some comfort. (*hug*) Just take this, and know that I would hug you and listen if I could...
Thank you It feels so good to have people who care. *Frowns slightly* I can't message any of you because you're not full members... But that aside, thank you. I just want to find something to do, somewhere to go, a direction for my life. I was a bit upset when I posted this, it's gone away slightly since then, but it's always there. I'd love to have somebody to talk to on facebook or something, but I can't do that because of site rules... Anyway, more suggestions would help. Thanks, <3 you all
I definitely sympathize extremely; though I'm not fully trans, I'm genderqueer leaning towards male but bio female, so most of the time I experience the same feelings (though probably not with the same intensity.) Recently, when it got too much, I managed to come out to some kids at school (they attend GSA, so there wasn't too much explaining to do, though they now mistakenly think I'm full trans.) I now go by male pronouns and my male name to those kids, and though it feels a little weird and takes getting used to at first, it feels like a load off my shoulders every time I hear myself called "he." My suggestion: If you can, come out to someone at school who'll understand, and from there, if you feel comfortable, you can come out to more people. I'm a full member, so if you'd like to message me I'm definitely up for it.
I totally second this. Obviously I can't relate to what you're going through really, but I think this is a good place to start. Just having other people be able to treat you as you want to be treated on a daily basis is a good start. I'm sure everyone here is willing to, but sometimes it just means more to have it done in person, y'know? Otherwise, I'm sorry that you're upset, but don't forget that EC is here for you (*hug*) I believe it's 50 posts and 2 weeks here minimum, then you can send a request to the EC team for approval. Something like that
Know that you can message any of the Admins, Mods, and Advisors at any time at all, and you don't have to be a Full Member. To the OP: I'm not trans, so I can't understand intimately what you're going through, but I can tell you that this entire community is behind you and will support you no matter what.
Thanks, good suggestion, and I do have one friend at school who knows about me, but she can't do anything in public because my school is largely homophobic and 100% gossip. That aside, I really need to know how to combat how I feel all the time. I wish this was easy. All my life feels so wrong, I'm missing so much. Even when I finally get SRS I won't know how to live, if you see what I mean. I'm just lost at the moment, and whenever I think about it too much I get depressed and start crying.
If your school is largely homophobic, then I don't recommend telling them anything at all. Find a group outside of your school (a local LGBT group perhaps?) where (no one knows you) and you can be open and free to express yourself until the moment you can make it truly public. Or until school ends there, and you can start over as your new self at your next school. I strongly suggest finding some local way to vent/talk through your anxiety, it'll make you feel a lot better. Just know that there is tons of support out there, just maybe not at your school. Talking to your best friend sounds like a very good option, just make sure she knows to be very careful about it. Getting to the point of finally going through SRS is a long way away, something you don't have to necessarily worry about at this point. YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER, once you start transitioning. It will just take baby steps at first.
Agreed, so much agreed. I feel much better myself after just having come out (even though family issues are rapidly reversing that.) I second Syboy's suggestion of joining a local group where nobody from your school knows you. Any steps you take, however small, drive away the darkness a little bit. Online support groups are almost as good, as well. Even with that one friend... can you get them to call you by your female name? How would your school react to you starting a GSA? They can't legally stop you...
My school is VERY small, and I doubt there are any more LGBT people there. Maybe one. And she does, when I catch her off guard. I can't drive and my parents won't take me anywhere without questions.
Ah... I see. Have you tried online support groups, or talking to an online LGBT hotline (like the one provided by the Trevor Project)?
