Probably the worst thing I could've done... Joined a dating site while I was still unsure about my sexuality. Joined as a straight female and now have a couple of men interested in chatting to me. I somehow feel obliged to tell them about my "new"-found sexuality yet, even though I don't know them from a bar of soap, I don't want to hurt them :eusa_doh: Such an idiot for being this way, forever caring and considerate. OK, so it's not THAT bad, but still. Even if I come out to them as bisexual, I still want to make the changes (short haircut, new wardrobe, start using men's deodorant, etc.) so that I appear more masculine and feel more comfortable in my own skin. Most men will be turned off by this, so coming out as bisexual seems kinda pointless. I don't know what to do. Do any of you have advice for me? I'm not ready to come out as anything yet, but just so I'll have a better idea on what to do and how to go about it :icon_redf
If I were you.....I wouldnt tell them anything. Its none of their concern as of right now. Now if your decide to maybe meet one of them in person than maybe you should tell them your Bi. And dont forget, many guys are into Bi Females because they feel something more along the lines later might happen, and this is coming from a guy that is the same age as you . dont tell them anything until your ready.
Yeah, I know about men being all for the whole bi thing. Because some are into threesomes. Problem with that is, I don't share. That's probably one of the fastest ways to lose someone, and having been cheated on numerous times before ... all I can say is, good luck to them :roflmao: It just hit me :eusa_doh: - I've actually come out to one of my gay friends (as bi)... So he's the only one who knows so far. And I've hinted in that direction a couple of times in the company of friends, and started LGBT convo's a few times with my parents, etc. Just to see how they react to it and judge how they'll react to the news one day... But you're right, I should rather keep it to myself a little bit. At least until things go from online to offline friendships. Then I'll tell them if I still feel they deserve to know My concern now is, if I go ahead with the changes (makeover), I'm probably going to need to come out. So what to I say? Bisexual but more into ladies than men? I mean, I can always change my appearance again if I later choose to do so. (Doubt it)
You don't need to come out to make appearance changes. People may start to assume things, making it easier to come out later down the line, however you don't need to provide "excuses" for your behaviour. Just do what you want, don't feel obliged to do things you don't really have to; only when you are comfortable, at your own pace.
My paranoia is getting the better of me right now and I'm starting to think about all the people who will be affected by the change... Hectic! Parents; sister and brother-in-law Then my cousins, uncles/aunts, etc. My psychiatrist (being treated for bipolar disorder) Next all my close friends - male and female My colleagues, who will be confused at most I'd think Then the rest of society - I don't know them so don't really care what they think/say/feel And in the midst of these thoughts a very good saying popped into my head: What others think of you is none of your business So really, I should just relax about this whole thing and go with the flow. It's nothing to be ashamed of ---------- Post added 29th May 2012 at 02:09 AM ---------- The only reason why I feel the makeover should go hand-in-hand with coming out, is that people (especially family and close friends) will definitely start to question the change. Directly. And since we're a close-knit family and close group of friends, they will feel free to ask such things. I like to be prepared for things and feel anxious about not knowing what to answer. So I'm in quite a pickle at the moment
Yes! I would say, if they have the ability to stop you from making the changes you want (your parents, sister, extended family maybe) then I wouldn't tell them until after you start your transformation. It's harder to stop a ball rolling when it's already in motion. To your friends, since you're close and they're more likely to support you, I'd tell them beforehand, at least out of courtesy.. your psychiatrist should be safe also, your colleagues, only if you're close? Annnd who the hell cares about the rest of the world!
Very true. In my other thread, Subtle things I commented about running the short haircut idea by my parents last night. Not that I need their approval to go ahead with it. More just to give them a heads up that change is on the way... The haircut, I'd think, is probably the biggest part of my transformation/makeover. Friends: We're close but there are some things that I only share bits and pieces at a time, so this too will come out piece by piece, subtly and carefully. If the question comes up in conversation I'll think of something to say in response to it but right now this really is something I simply have to do. I did a virtual makeover last night and it looked breathtakingly beautiful. Lol Colleagues and I are on speaking terms but not really close so they don't need to know The rest of the world? Ha, who cares what they think?! :icon_wink
