my vent: the lesbian who i 1st came out to, who stayed ignorant of transgender men, and continually would say things that irked me...she is no longer my FB friend. guess she was pissed at me for telling her calling me "too gay" is transphobic and also not wanting to talk sexy to her so she can get off on it. I'm better off with out the jerk. but it still hurts. jerk
oh she said in pm that she saw my wall FB i wrote I'm deleting friends who have not replied or chatted in a long time, and 100% thought it was all abt her! Gee! what an ego-trip! "you still dont get it. whole reason ehy i had to delete you was because you kept posting annoying status within 30 minutes. complaining how people dont reply bak and have time to post other stuff well they got full right to do whatever they want. if they dont reply then they dont . sit and relax! i cant talk to u like when im at home i m on vacation im always having things to do with family. its not like ur my girlfriend or anything . u need to calm the f down . im only pissed off cuz u kept posting shit on your wall like a little child. instead of waiting for u to delete me ill just delete u first." yeah, this the lesbian who wanted me. pfft! i think she needs therapy too! please note, she said girl-friend...and i told her a billion times I'm a boy, not girl. And she wanted me to post we were in a relationship on my status when i did not want to! i was her online only 24 hr BOYfriend, and super glad i am now completely over her!
Ya, she's definitely a transphobic person. Just goes to show us yet again that the gay and lesbian community has a long way to go on acceptance, and how we're not one big happy family. That really sucks though, and ya, I bet it hurts.
yeah, it does hurt. you know now why my other posts, like WOMEN!, were up there. she has a weird way about her, and i was still you know...and i felt so stupid. but nobody deserves to be treated wrong. i treated her really good and she knows it, but she can be mean if she wants to. again, how it started was she saw my posts on her friend's fb wall. her friend is also lesbian, but i didn't know, we were in same class together. neither girl, however, do i think would work out for me to date, as they have a feminist way about them...and it is a man-hating one. that was a problem from get go! she thought i had a "look" in my face on my pix that said to her i am lesbian...that said i may like girls. idk. i thought is just my mug! haha! so she friended me, PM me a week later, and about 3 messages later asked me if i was a lesbian! just happened i had been on here, and was ready to come out to my 1st person...end up her. :/ she replied back that i can just be a lesbian. throughout the weeks after, the best i got out of her was moments she saw me on oovoo and said she saw me even with my hair down as a guy. but later she would use female pronouns, and say girl, and i would tell her it hurt and shed say sorry and giggle. i think in the end she just could not, would not, and never will accept that somebody in a female body will not enjoy her touching their female junk. it does concern me. she lives really near SF! if she never heard of us, or even wants to learn more, she is going to just be rude to every guy and gal she meets at Pride events she goes to. And i bet there are more like her around. my problem now is, here in reality land, how do i survive the rest of spring quarter...i am pretty sure tomorrow i am dropping 2 of 3 classes. how do i hide my gender as i am dressing male now from both my mom who is moving in August, and my BESTIE who is asking to move in here in a couple weeks?? except for you all, and that B!tc# that broke up with me, and 1 gay friend, and one straight deaf perv who has a crush on me, i am not telling a soul...but i know everyone who knows me sees i am dressing far more male than ever before! when somebody asks me, i bet i tell the truth. i am known for it. now i know i have something called GID, or pretty darn sure of it, i bet i spill my guts soon. i feel like it is going to accidentally be blurted out my big mouth. but i really want to stay closeted from my deaf community here...DC fine, but not ready for here yet. thanks Pret Allez for the pat on the back when i really needed it.
No problem, dude. I do understand where it's coming from, but I still don't agree with much of what you said and how you chose to say it. I can definitely understand being pissed off with people who want to play stupid games with you. I still think you're a cool and articulate person. I think feminists are really cool. I read about man-hating feminists on the internet, but they are a mythical beast to me. I have never met one in the flesh. All the feminists I deal with are super cool people, and I love them because I know that they have my back, and they're my strongest allies on sexuality issues. What I think it comes down to is that people don't like to deal with anything complicated. And if you're "complicated," they'll say really offensive shit because they want to simplify you so that they understand. It's like "oh there's lady bits, and there's attraction to women, so I guess I'm dealing with a lesbian." But then "hey, did you just listen to all the stuff I just said about being trans?" "Ya, but I know you better than you do, and you're full of shit, so there you go." Because that's exactly what they're saying, whether they articulate it or not. It just comes down to the shitty thing where people just don't want to make the effort to understand. It also doesn't help that they are oppressed, which makes them think they are the expert on all kinds of oppression. And that's part of why the queer community has so many internal difficulties. Not everyone relates to heteropatriarchy the same way... Things are going to suck, and you'll want to punch holes in the walls sometimes, but eventually you'll just deal with people who are really cool. Or else you'll find a queer community that actually lives up to being the umbrella safe space it claims to be... (*hug*)
Hmm, poor lesbian girl really likes you. Therefore, she wants you to be a lesbian. But you are not a lesbian, you are a transguy. This causes problems. Possibly, if you take testosterone, she will be less attracted to you as your body changes. That happens to me--whether I like it or not. So, she doesn't want you to transition. You are so attractive as you are, and men are not. She likes the masculine character in the female body (read: butch) and is trying to convince you that there is nothing wrong with you and you can just stay awesome and sexy like you are instead of going and wrecking things with T. She can't educate herself on trans issues, because her feelings are getting in the way. She's too emotionally invested in you being a lesbian to accept you as trans. The lesbian word for "don't touch my junk" is "stone." If she doesn't know it, she will. There are lots of stone butches in the world.
What I think it comes down to is that people don't like to deal with anything complicated. And if you're "complicated," they'll say really offensive shit because they want to simplify you so that they understand. It's like "oh there's lady bits, and there's attraction to women, so I guess I'm dealing with a lesbian." But then "hey, did you just listen to all the stuff I just said about being trans?" "Ya, but I know you better than you do, and you're full of shit, so there you go." Because that's exactly what they're saying, whether they articulate it or not. It just comes down to the shitty thing where people just don't want to make the effort to understand. It also doesn't help that they are oppressed, which makes them think they are the expert on all kinds of oppression. And that's part of why the queer community has so many internal difficulties. Not everyone relates to heteropatriarchy the same way... Things are going to suck, and you'll want to punch holes in the walls sometimes, but eventually you'll just deal with people who are really cool. Or else you'll find a queer community that actually lives up to being the umbrella safe space it claims to be... (*hug*)[/QUOTE] wow. yu spied on her! She would say '*,you're making it too complicated, simplify!' how did ya know?? she told me to watch a youtube link to Max on the movie the Lword, and i saw the gf break up with him and call him a freak. I absolutely began to breakdown and bawl like a baby like i have never in my life. :tears:i told her i hate that movie now! and she claimed to not have watched that part but asked me if i read all the posts under it! i was like: NOOO, i was DYING, how can you have seen it and NOT seen her say that he's a freak! :icon_sad: i never wholly bought that excuse, as there were so many other things she said that showed she really didn't care about how it makes me feel when she said it. luckily i will never need to see her, i live nowhere near her. as far as ultra liberal men-hating feminists, there are a lot around here. don't know why. always has been. actually, when i was 6 years old i had a neighbor who was divorced, told me all men are this and that, and i watched her 3 yr old SON behind her. i told my friends i felt bad for him as he's gonna be a man someday. i always told girls who said girls are better than boys that it is not true, all men are equal to women and boys are equal to girls, men are not all evil and bad, and girls are not better then boys. Men-haters can be downright scary...any hate group is scary. if you have never met a mean feminist who hates men and puts them down and degrades them, you are darn blessed! i wanna move there. ---------- Post added 1st Jun 2012 at 12:37 AM ---------- don't know if all that went on in her mind or not, i never think about controlling a person's gender. but she did say once maybe i was just a butch lesbian, and i had once again to explain myself to her...it got really tiring and i felt really uncomfy when she want to see me on oovoo, as i didn't want her to hear my voice and think of me as not a guy. i think butch people are trying to look male...like too hard, that is how i see it anyways. i just feel like i am a guy, not a tough guy. I'm more just your buddy, a helpful part of the town, kind of a country person, and i look good in skater stuff. I purposely will not, unless i take T and look more masculine, wear any plaid shirts as she said it looks lesbian...and it sucks because there are a lot of shirts i like that are plaid and all the real men get to wear them...but no way am i gonna wear any 'signal" that i am a lesbian! as for her being emotionally invested in her idea of me being a lesbian...she is just emotional period. i know girls have a lot of emotions and stuff, but i do hope there is one out there for me, not so emotional, i can't handle it.
