Hello guys, first of all, i have to say that English is not my native language. So, sorry if you find it difficult to read but i will do my best to write the story. I am gay and i am 100 percent sure about it. Three years ago i met a guy in high school and eventually we have become best friend. At the very first year, i didn’t feel anything special toward him besides great friendship we have. Last year, i told him that i am gay but he didn’t seem to be surprised that much as i expected. He was very supportive about my sexuality and promised that he won’t tell anyone [In fact he keeps the promise :] ] However, I think my feeling have been changed a bit, i think i’m in love with him and FYI i do believe that he’s 100% straight because he has girlfriend and loves her very much. So, i will not tell him my feeling anyway. Now, we are having summer break and i feel like i am losing him. We moved in to the college together, stay in the same dorm and he met new set of friends. I feel very jealous every time someone talks to him or touch him. I want to slap that person in the face [i know that i’m bad person] He has no time for me lately but that’s not really important comparing to when he said that i’m annoying him when i do something good for him like giving him a birthday present [None of his friend does] or ask him about his day. Actually, He’s kind of good guy. Every time he said something bad to me like “you’re annoying” he always quickly notices my reaction and tries to make up for that harsh sentence. I miss him all the time even i try to keep myself busy all day. I think i am going to be crazy or something. I just want this kind of feeling to end. i want to go back to when i only think of him as friend. Is there anyway to do that?
if he is really straight you will have to let him go someday. i am going through the same phase but i am not sure that mine is really straight or not as he does not have a girlfriend etc. but as u r sure so you have two options either be a very good friend and try to become okay with the fact that he is just your friend and somebody s boy friend so he has to spend time with her. and as a friend you cant be too possessive. but doing that is really dificult so i did not choose this path. the other way is easy but not good. that is to cut him off slowly from your life. i m trying to do that. i know it hurts a lot wen he asks me if we can hang out and i say no i m busy with work and actually in my heart i am thinking that you are the only one with whom i want to spend all my time and i dont want to miss it for the world. but involving yourself in other friends and work etc really helps to get over it. i cant give you any advice as i am also in the same place as you are. but i m telling you what i am doing . i am very sure i will not be able to act normal when my love will say i m in love with somebdy , i m going to marry her and certainly i will not be able to invite him to my house wen he is married has a family etc in the future. so i m jus trying to leave him behind as a sad memory . good thing for me is that i m gona leave my college soon and go back to my homeland . its very far from here so he ll be out of site and out of mind. ( atleast i am hoping that it will happen)
thank you i really appreciate your advice since we are in the same college and dorm, i still have to be with him for at least next 4 years. i'm trying to get over this feeling and i hope it will be worked out fine for me thanks again
