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Need direction with future plans

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by midwestgirl89, May 30, 2012.

  1. midwestgirl89

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    I'm at the point in my life where I'm supposed to know what I want to do as a career. I just graduated from college with a degree in sociology. But....I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do with myself. I have no goals, no plans, and no drive.

    I have a fun job for August to January (although it's minimum wage). I may work there until May with a professional internship. My professors and mom are bothering me about what I want to do with graduate school. I have absolutely no idea.

    I don't know what specific degree I actually want. I'm not ready to study for the GRE and I don't have any idea of what job I want to do in the future. If I want to go to grad school in fall 2013, I need to apply to schools by this December. So I need to have GRE scores, a paper, and letters done asap. It's daunting.

    All I know is I want to live in a gay-friendly area with lots of wildlife and nature.

    Does anyone else feel lost with their future? I feel stupid because I should have figured this out years ago. My friends have known what they want to do since they were 18. I've got a degree and nothing to do with it.

    I'm still completely unsure of anything. Does anyone have advice? :eusa_doh:
     
  2. rainbowfox

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    well, first of all what are your fields of interest? what do you really enjoy?
    I think future plans for career can base on to types of view, 1) having a career that you love to do, something you dream about to be, something that you really enjoy or 2) looking to career as only source of money
    which one do you prefer (or you prefer more)?
     
  3. Chip

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    First piece of wisdom:

    Almost nobody graduating college has any idea what they want to do, particularly in the last 5 years. The idea we should know what we want to do is a huge fallacy that our parents and society has foisted upon us, but it's absolutely untrue.

    Second piece:

    Those who *think* they know what they want to do are quite often, 5 years down the road, doing something completely different. This doesn't mean they made a bad initial decision, it just means they were still finding themselves and finding work they enjoy.


    Third piece:

    Your mileage may vary, but I am a very firm believer that finding work you *enjoy*, and that has meaning for you, is much, much more important than how much money you make... provided, of course, that you're making enough to be reasonably comfortable and secure.

    ****

    So honestly, I've found that many, many people take time in their early and mid-20s to try different things, work in different settings, perhaps travel a bit, and perhaps read some career books ("What Color Is Your Parachute" is the Bible of the field) to stimulate some thinking about what sort of career excites you.

    And... in spite of what anyone may say, there is absolutely no pressure to go to grad school next year. Particularly if you have no clear idea of what you want to do. There's no sense going into a ton more debt and putting a ton of time into something that you've chosen in a hurry because somebody gave you the mistaken impression that you have to decide Right Now what you're going to do for the next 40 years :slight_smile:

    So, if I were in your shoes, unless someone suddenly appeared on a flaming pie in the middle of a cloud and announced from on high "This Is What Thou Shall Major In In Graduate School", I'd take my time. Take a year, get a job you find fun (or at least one you can tolerate), think, study, contemplate, ask a million people, look at schools and programs, and *then* choose.

    Oh and... I don't know if you have any interest, but with a sociology bachelors, social work is a good career path to consider *if* you like it. It can be really stressful, and draining if you're in the wrong end of it, but it can also be really fulfilling and rewarding.

    Hope that helps!
     
  4. insidehappy

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    hi, what you are going through is not uncommon at all. we are forced into going to "college" because that is what everyoen does to get a good job. many of us have no clue as to what we want to do and once we're done with school, you have to figure it out. even the ones that have known what they wanted to do since 18 often change their minds once they get in their fields so do not feel bad.

    here's my advice. you have a job (min wage, but it's a job) and use this as a chance to see what you like to do. also, sociology is the study of people and it's a pretty "open" degree to have which could allow you to try differnet fields. in the short term you could look for a career where you are helping people in some type of non profit organization. this could be a coordinator position at any non profit organization that helps a cuase or group of people you feel a connection with.

    as far as teh GRE, you can start studying for that now just so that you will have it under your belt. you could take a year off to decide what you want to do and ride out the internship for a bit. it really makes no sense getting a degree that you're not sure you want so you will only be back in the same boat. if you want to go back to grad school, then wait a year or two (max) after you have finished undergrad. allow yourself to work and explore and then you will be better prepared. do not wait too long to go back to a full time grad schoool program because you will be out of the "college mode mindset" and it will be more challenging to get back into the swing of things. many people take a year off before going right back in. they work and explore and when the career opportunities suck they go back to school. you can do the same.
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    i had no idea myself until last year! :slight_smile:

    because i took ASL i found out most born profoundly deaf taught orally can only understand 4th grade english. :frowning2: it changed me. I now am compelled from inside to change the world. i study on my own to, and that is my passion to educate doctors, educators, employers, politicians and parents with the truth...they are the problem...they need to know why.

    try volunteerism, or taking random classes, and one day God will show you exactly how to use that degree! (yep, i saw no connection from my degree to deafness, until i stumbled on a big one...) and Sociology was a really helpful class for me personally. your heart will one day know what it wants, trust me.
     
  6. midwestgirl, you are NOT alone. I'm right behind you with a vague idea of what I want to do and where I want to be. (*hug*)

    That being said, I think Chip is onto something, as per usual. :slight_smile:
     
  7. midwestgirl89

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    Wow, thank you so much for all of your advice. I feel a little less freaked out about my future plans now.


    Your advice is really helpful. I have been freaking myself out because I assume that most people know what they're doing after they graduate from college. This might be a family thing, because my mom and dad went to medical school/law school so they had everything figured out at the age of 21. It's putting a lot of pressure on me to think that I'm the only one in my family with no solid plan. My sister wants to be a doctor but I have no ideas so...I'm the oddball. I'll feel like a failure if I don't go to graduate school when everyone else has but I have to relax some. I'm also worried about money because I want to have a family someday.

    It'd be totally awesome if a flaming pie showed up in front of me tomorrow lol. I doubt that'll happen, so I may need to take some time to figure out my life. It helps a lot to hear we don't have to have it all figured out.

    I'm not interested in social work (although it's a good job) just because I think it'd be too emotionally draining. When I was taking classes, I realized that I like numbers and stats more than something like social work. I like to find out what percentage of people believe gay marriage should be legal and stuff like that rather than counseling someone on how to get out of an abusive relationship. Talking about statistical data on topics I'm interested in fascinates me. When I found out the statistics for suicide around the country, for opinions on homosexuality, for opinions on immigration...I perked up. I also liked teaching sociology to a small group of people. I did a project on gender in animated film that got me thinking about how there are 0 (legitimate) LGBT characters in the 103 movies I watched... which bothered me. I like to make song parodies and work around fun all the time. My best job as of date was at Chuck E. Cheese where I got to dress up as the mouse. Also, being outdoors/being around animals is important. So I get kind of confused with all of my interests.

    Thank you!! Your advice is helpful and I will start studying for the GRE now so I'll get it over with. Exploring will probably be the best option for me since I have no idea what I'm doing. While I'm working at the job in August, I can look into better opportunities within that company and see what I can do.

    Thanks everyone for your advice. It's helped me to calm down and think more about what I want to do.
     
  8. Chip

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    You might want to consider being a social work researcher. There is a growing area of study called "grounded theory research" which is a rigorous qualitative study methodology that is a really interesting way of interviewing people, coding and analyzing the data, and extracting patterns and correlations from what emerges.

    There are a number of new researchers interested in the field of sociology and social work that are teaching and doing extensive research in that area. You might want to look at some of Brene Brown's work on shame, vulnerability, and her shame resilience theory, which developed out of 6 years of grounded theory research. It ties into suicide, bullying, self-esteem, and many related areas, and there are a number of researchers doing work in these areas now. Certainly many of the areas you've described are also in desperate need of good research.

    You might also want to check out academia.com, it is basically a Facebook for academic nerds :slight_smile: You can find a wealth of articles, research areas of interest, and people with interests similar to yours... you could strike up some conversations and perhaps use that to give you some better insight into what sort of research and teaching you might be interested in.
     
  9. Pret Allez

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    I would say if you're uncertain about the future, and especially what you'd study for graduate school, definitely don't do graduate school. I'd say just try to dive into the workforce for a while. Then in 4-5 years you'll either figure it out or go back to school from the vantage point of strong adult maturity. (Which by the way, I definitely do not pretend to have being 23 myself.)

    As for where to go that's gay friendly and has wildlife... Ehh... I almost want to say come to Montana. But I just can't. It's a beautiful place, but small cities and not a whole lot to do most of the time. Also, there's a pretty homophobic atmosphere most of the places I go, and I don't feel safe to be out most of the time. That said, it is getting slightly better. Our generation is quite positive compared to those preceding us.

    Also, if you work for state government, there are important benefits, like you can put a domestic partner on your health insurance plan.
     
  10. redstormrising

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    that's exactly what i did. when i graduated from college i knew i wanted to go to grad school, but i didn't know what i wanted to do. my undergrad degree is in psychology but i knew i didn't want to pursue that. so, i went to work. somehow i wound up becoming a probation officer, and after four years of doing that, i decided to go to law school. i went part-time at night, while continuing to work as a PO, for the next four years. i graduated at age 30, and had classmates who were old enough to be my parents. there is definitely no hurry to go to grad school! go out, get some work experience, and figure out what you want to do before you waste time and money on a degree you don't really want, just for the sake of having one. i had such a better experience in law school than in undergrad -- even though i worked a million times harder -- because it was something i really wanted to do.
     
  11. Mlpguy88

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    Thank you for saying this(*hug*)

    No, you are not alone, I also can't find the right direction for myself. It is scary sometimes, but knowing that I am not alone in this feeling makes me feel a little better.