I need help. In March I really hurt this friend of mine (M). I didn't realize she was hurt at all until she started treating me horribly, and I asked her about it. Finally, around the beginning of April, a friend of both of us (L) texted me and told me she was mad and that I should just apologize. I did. No response. Finally, I talked to M in person and she didn't forgive me quite yet. I kept trying and trying to see if she had been able to get over the issue. Now, almost a month and a half later, I text M thinking that I gave her some time to move on. I poured myself out and told her that she had such an impact on me and that I miss being friends and I really hope she would consider becoming my friend again. I get a text from L again. She said that the whole thing with M was pretty much dead and M doesn't know why I texted her at all. She says I'm just making it harder on her and I just need to move on basically. I told L that I didn't mean to get her involved in this, and she thought I thought she was yelling at me. I said that I know she wasn't yelling at me, and said that I was sorry and never meant to start anything drama-like or whatever and she assumed that I thought she was accusing me so now she's mad at me for that. In the end, I just need to help to move on from M because I don't know anything I can do and need to mend things with L because she misunderstood me I think. This is all just driving me insane because I miss M so much and she doesn't miss me at all. I am pretty sure L is annoyed with me too and it sucks so much. Please help me out guys, I know I can turn to here
I understand not everyone has advice for these situatins, but it be so nice if someone could offer something. Not to be pushy it's just this has been pushed to the second page already
I guess it's not what you want to hear but I think you do just have to move on. If you're able to give her space and only contact her through text then I guess you don't have to see each other regularly, which makes it easier. I know how hard it can be to let go of a friendship from personal experience but there's no other way to get over it except just get over it (WORST ADVICE EVER, I'm sorry). Just keep yourself busy, hang out with other people, eventually you'll think about this less and less. If you go to school together or something it'll be more difficult. Can I ask what exactly you did to her, or do you not want to say? Sorry I can't be of more help.
You're probably like this answer, but you need to give yourself time. There's no "quick" way to get over an emotional break-up with people. For me I express it on my thread and just let it out.
No I get it, I know I have to I just don't know how I can.. I just said something as a joke that made it seem offending (someone else told her, she wasn't actaully there to hear it) but she took the wrong context. I told her I never said what I said and she thought I was lying. I didn't know what I said until yet another person said I said what I did, so that's when i apologized.
There's no easy answer. It might help to know that sometimes people just get angry and hold grudges, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You've given it your best shot, twice, and she isn't responding, so all you can do it accept what is. I would also think that there might be two other issues at play: Perhaps you don't have a big enough circle of friends, and/or perhaps you tend to lean too heavily on the friends you have. So -- and I'm not saying this is the case -- but sometimes, an event such as the one that ended your friendship serves not as the cause but just as the catalyst. In other words, it's possible your friend was feeling drained or otherwise not fulfilled by the way the friendship was happening. If that's the case, there still isn't anything you can do about it, but you can use it to your advantage to explore (with yourself, and perhaps with other friends) if there's anything about the way you interact with people that could be annoying/uncomfortable/etc for them. That requires having a meaningful conversation, and if you can get someone to open up and be completely honest, you have to promise not to object, defend, justify, or otherwise challenge what they've said, otherwise they won't open up. No matter what they say, you just say "Thank you. I'll think about that." I don't know this is the case but just something in what you wrote made me think it might be.
That makes sense with the catalyst idea because she's been at me before for mistakes I've made, but they were always mistakes. Either way, you're probably right about that. I don't know if it really has to do anything with having a small circle of friends because I do have a pretty large one and as far as I know they don't find me annoying or uncomfortable to be with. Then again, I can't hear their thoughts. I can talk to one of my closer friends though, and see what he says. Thank you
here's the thing buddy, sometimes we do stuff and it hurts people. sometimes we know that we're doing it, sometimes we dont. you can apologize until you're blue in the face but if she doesn't want you in her life anymore, none of that will matter. to move on you need to accept that you apologized, you tried to settle the matter but she wants to keep the grudge going and that's perfectedly fine. but now you need to leave her alone and move on. after far as the other person involved in this triangle. you can apologize to her and just give them some time and they'll come back around. if not, move on from that person too.
