Do you have to be muscular to be attractive?

[andrewshell11]

I am always worried that I'm not attractive enough.. I am skinny, not muscular... I just want to feel good with myself. Do you have any tips to make myself feel better? I have been told I'm not ugly at all before.. but you know. I still don't know. Do you have to be muscular? Another thing is how can I become more muscular, get abs without going to the gym? I don't have a pull-up bar or anything by the way.

[Ianthe]

People have all different tastes, seriously. You don't have to be muscular.

There are exercises you can do for abs. But I think you will do better to work on your self-esteem and body image, rather than your abs. You should at least work on both, and not just the abs.

So, when you catch yourself "worrying," you should interrupt the thoughts that are saying that you are not attractive enough, and engage in positive self-talk, such as saying to yourself, "I am an attractive man and a good person. I am worthy of love. I will be a good boyfriend for someone." (The worrying is negative self-talk--you are repeating negative things to yourself over and over, and the way to stop it is to do the opposite.)

[Steve712]

You definitely do not need to be muscular to be attractive. There are people that like a huge variety of things, including many people that love skinny guys. Don't worry. You should also know that changing anything about yourself (hair, skin, weight, dress, whatever else) is no guarantee to looking better or reducing your insecurity.

Besides, that's the wrong reason to pursue fitness. You won't feel any better about yourself if you gain a bunch of muscle, because the insecurity lies not in how you look but how you feel about yourself. If you feel you're inadequate, you need to work on your mentality.

That having been said, pursuing fitness and being active are definitely good for you. If you decide to do it, let it be because you want to be healthier and not because you want to please people or get abs. To answer your question on whether there's an easy way to be fit: no. Spot training, protein shakes, whatever else you can think of don't work. You have to dedicate yourself to eating a balanced diet and a balanced exercise routine (cardiovascular exercise, stretching, weight lifting, etc.) in order to be fit.

[Mad Man L]

No, you don't need to be muscular to be attractive at all. Everybody has different types, and if you did build yourself up, while you may become appealing to some, you will become less appealing to others. So don't worry.

However, if you want to build yourself up, go for it. There's nothing wrong with getting a bit of muscle on you.

I agree with all the postings thus far. While everyone has their own tastes, there's nothing sexier than a guy with confidence...

[kylegf2011]

Many people prefer skinny guys over muscular guys. And to answer your second question about how to get abs without going to the gym, try doing the plank, its really effective.

[Mr.Pushover]

To each his own, as they say.

[sguyc]

First of all like others have said you don't have to be muscular to look good, there are plenty of more important factors to attractivness, like having confidence and dressing good.

Exclaimer* I am not a trainer most of the following is second hang knowledge and general common sense.

If you want to bulk up you pretty much need to go to a gym or get a weight set (not necessarily a large one). You could try those video work outs (like intensity) but those are more designed to lose weight and tone up which isn't necessarily bad if your thin, but it won't make you look that much more muscular. Abs are pretty easy to get if you aren't very thick already. You just have to do a decent amount of cardio (like everyother day) and do ab excercises like crunches ect (there's probably tons of info online for good regiments). The key to abs is removing the layers of fat on top of them, once that is gone its easy to visually tone them up. A healthy diet helps a lot as well but it is not really a requirement unless you just eat absolute crap all the time.

[squally89]

This depends on what do you wish to attract? Not all "attractive" people are muscular, unless you personally have a preference for muscular men, which is totally fine. And a good number of muscular men also like muscular guys (bc they can related and go to the gym together?)

Muscular looking guys can vary. You can have extreme ones, tone ones, skinny tone, etc you get the idea. What is it you are specifically pursuing in others? And do you know any of these physical type of people you find appealing? If so, you should get to understand these people before hitting the gym (Get all the facts you can) -- Sorry I sound way too scientific here.

I am not extremely muscular and I would categorize myself as thin (not skinny, bc skinny is like "model-ish" (?) and I have "attracted" guys who were a lot more "athletic" and "muscular" than me. Physically what you look like is only ONE of the factors, and something you can "technically" have control over. So don't sweat! Feeling confident in your own skin is WAY more appealing in most cases, just my personal opinion. Dating an insecure muscular guy versus a confident average Joe build guy. Average looking Joe would prevail, unless you are looking for short-term/one night encounters then looks are definitely extremely important.

Ultimately the question is, what is it that you want out of this gain?

[Pret Allez]

No, you don't have to be muscular to be attractive. Of course, some people will find that more attractive. Many of us don't. (As in, we don't say no to muscles, but it's not a prerequisite.)

[RealityCheck]

Originally Posted by andrewshell11

I am always worried that I'm not attractive enough.. I am skinny, not muscular... I just want to feel good with myself. Do you have any tips to make myself feel better? I have been told I'm not ugly at all before.. but you know. I still don't know. Do you have to be muscular? Another thing is how can I become more muscular, get abs without going to the gym? I don't have a pull-up bar or anything by the way.

You can use just about anything to use as a weight to include just your body. Make sure you have a healthy diet loaded with protein. You can find all this stuff with a quick google search.

On being attractive, I know how you feel, but you just have to put that in the back of your mind and go out there with confidence. I don't care what they look like, if a person doesn't have a good personality and heart I won't give them the time of day. Physically though, I actually prefer skinny guys as to muscular ones. At the end of the day none of that matters though. It's what's inside that counts, and I promise that I mean that.

[Lewis]

I find muscular guys attractive on first glance, but that doesn't mean that they are attractive. It may be the case that they're nice to look at etc. but really have nothing more. The guy I really like is really not the type of guy I would for for, but it's because he has a charm and personality that overrides all of those things. I've known him for years and when I first met him, I didn't find him all that attractive, but becoming attracted to his personality, made me become attracted to him as a whole. Just be yourself.

[rainbowfox]

as others said, it's not the buddy shape that attracts others being confidence plays a really greater role
but about the buddy shape, I LOVE tiny skinny guys

[Zontar]

Absolutely not. I like skinny guys.

[toms7]

for me no, people with nice eyes maybe (dont mean the colour) i look the eyes mostly!
or the face ! i prefer musclar but not a lot musclar just a bit basically muscled ,skinny guys also. little fat a bit ! if there is an old man 50 years who has nice eyes ! well i like him too!
also it depends on the person each time if he is a douchbad i hate it ! i want manners!><
hate rude people even low manners are cool, you know the basics.
do i ask too much?

I sure as hell hope not, because I'm plan on being a super-skinny mofo pretty soon...
No, you don't. I know many skinny men I find super sexy.

[andrewshell11]

Thanks for all of these responses. They have given me a better understanding at what people look at. I am not JUST doing it for others. When I get a haircut for example, I feel better with myself. It makes me feel more confident because people compliment me. This is why I want to go to the gym or something. I don't want to be this HUGE muscular guy. I just want to be tone. I wan't my shoulders to be a little big bigger. I want my arms to be just a bit bigger. I want abs that aren't amazing, but are noticeable.. I also want to get a nice tan. I'm pretty pale and a tan would make myself look much better I believe.

[TheGreyMan]

I personally prefer athletic builds but everyone is different, really.

[Noir]

*raises her hand* Is a les aloud to answer this question? Honestly, I don't think it matters except for "types." Some people like it, and some people (like me, lol) don't like muscular guys. It's kind of the same for how girls don't have to have big chests to be considered "attractive," and apparently some people even consider it more sexy. I wouldn't worry about it--and if a guy you like judges you only on that, then he doesn't deserve you anyway!! xp

[Christiaan]

Originally Posted by andrewshell11

I am always worried that I'm not attractive enough.. I am skinny, not muscular... I just want to feel good with myself. Do you have any tips to make myself feel better? I have been told I'm not ugly at all before.. but you know. I still don't know. Do you have to be muscular? Another thing is how can I become more muscular, get abs without going to the gym? I don't have a pull-up bar or anything by the way.

To me, a man is attractive if he looks wholesome and responsible. Exercise good grooming habits, dress just a tad conservatively but with a little queer flourish, perhaps, and keep yourself in reasonable physical condition.

You don't have to be muscular. In fact, you shouldn't be muscle-bound to the point of freakishness at all, unless you are trying to attract people who specifically have a muscle fetish or something. Otherwise, what is attractive is a body that looks well-maintained. That's it! Just the doctor-recommended number of days a week of good physical exercise, and the average gay man will chase you to the ends of the earth.

Now, if you want abs, find someone to go to the gym with. I cannot stress enough that exercise is best done as something social. When you are playing with weights especially, don't you even dare try to go it alone: have someone there to spot for you. Always. However, even walking alone can be dangerous: what if you have a stroke? What if you trip and fall stepping off of a curb and tear a tendon? Having a friend with you when you exercise has a thousand benefits, chief of which is that it keeps you on track to have someone who expects you to be there. If you want good abs, that's how you get them.