My sucky life and my "mom"

You situation is temporary. Hang tough. <3

Find more alone time - go on a bike ride, walk or run. It'll help keep/get yourself together to better handle her standpoint.

 

Your situation sounds less than pleasant, but stay strong. You can and will get through this.

In the meantime, have you considered attempting to see things from your mother's perspective? By no means am I suggesting that she may have a valid reason for treating your friend they way it sounds like she does, but everyone has a reason for doing what they do, weather it is valid or not. And figuring out why your mother is doing what she is doing could certainly help when trying to figure out how to deal with your current situation.

If you do decide to try and view events from your mother's perspective, remember to remain as unbiased as possible. It will probably be be difficult (and understandably so), but try not to project your own opinions and preconceptions onto her as you try to understand her motives. Empathy can be an extremely powerful skill, so if you can put yourself in your mother's shoes and figure out her motivations in this matter, then you will be much better equipped to deal with things as they come up. Who knows, maybe you will even be able to figure out a way the two of you can talk things out.

I hope this was at least slightly helpful in some way. But at the very least, I'll be rooting for you. I wish you the best!

 

Does your mom know you have suicidal thoughts and how your friend Andrew have helped you overcome that? (I am assuming she does not know that, if so what is the reason for not telling her?).

I agree with what Cloudbreaker said on the valid reason thing about your mom, but it is absolutely NOT your responsibility to help her overcome what ever "issue" she has with your friend. Listen your mom has problems in her life too, and this could be a way for her to "feel" she has accomplished something in her life. I been there /w my mom as well and I fought back and moved out temporary because my university was well equipped to handle crisis like that (I was very fortunate).

(Before you read the below, I am about to give you tough love - I'M SORRY!)
On the flip side if you wish to hurt yourself, do you not feel just a little bit selfish? Andrew has taken so much of his time unconditionally to bring you to this state of not self-damaging yourself and you will not "toughen" up for him? And is there absolutely no way of communicating with Andrew (internet/phone etc)? Has your mom gone haywire that she totally cut him out of life?

On your message you mention the phrase "it doesn't matter", and " should just end it then maybe she would learn" - What if she doesn't? And the reality is you will leave her with a funeral to attend with lots of tear sheds (perhaps family and some other people you never met that will go) and there will definitely be some sort of publication/news press that doesn't help your mother's grief and self judgement of shame of what she has done. Andrew would probably feel pretty crappy as well. He will probably think to himself "What could I have done differently for him? What could I have said to prevent this?".

You are going to leave a hefty financial burden (if do not have life insurance, and even if you do there might be clauses in place not to pay if its suicide - My brother sells insurance), confusion and sadness to other people's life for hurting/ending your 17 year life. It's that ultimately what you want to do?

 

Your mother obviously cares about you a lot--if she didn't care about you, it wouldn't matter to her who you are friends with, and she wouldn't feel strongly enough to yell at you. So, even though you don't agree with her about your friend, and you are understandably upset about the idea of being separated from him, can you at least see that your mother loves you and values you?

Does she know that you have been self-harming and feeling suicidal? It would be a really good idea for you to get help for that.


If you are feeling that way, or even if you just need to talk, you can call the Trevor Lifeline, 866 488 7386.

You are a good person. You are worthy of love, and you are loved--your friend loves you, and even though you are fighting right now, your mother loves you, too.

You have a full life ahead of you. Someday, you will be out. You will be part of this amazing community of beautiful and diverse people. You will fall in love, yes--maybe only once, or maybe many times. But more importantly, you will make wonderful friends in this community, which is bound together by the very thing that has always set you apart.

I don't know how to explain to you how good it is, what it means to have friendships with people who are like you in the ways you've always been different. But I know, you wouldn't want to miss it.

 

I completely understand that its a harsh situation but I think if you explain all of these feelings to your mom, it will help.
the more important things is you have a perfect friend who really loves you, isn't that enough reason to stay alive? and even more, in response to all of his love and help, doesn't it worth to stand against this hard situation?
there always will be bumps in your way but with love and help of friends like Andrew you will pass all of them. and hey we are all here for you, don't give up (*hug*)