hey ya'll, well just so you know I'm 15. Until a few months ago I considered myself to be straight. Not only straight, but homophobic as well. But the more I thought about it, I didn't care whether or not someone was gay or straight or anything. It was more that the people around me cared and therefore I did too. Well now I don't know what I am: if I am indeed straight, if I'm bisexual, or just supportive of the gay community. I can definitely say that I'm not a flat out lesbian though, because I do always check out guys and can see myself with one. Anyways, the main reason that I started to question myself is that (and not to be inapropriate or anything) I began to realize that gay/lesbian-based sexual ideas turn me on. Since I've never been in any relationship with a girl, I tried to imagine myself in one. I can see myself kissing girls and maybe even going farther... if you catch my drift... but at the same time I'm a tad squeamish about it. I really don't know what to think of myself any more. Any advice or something that anyone has to offer would be much appreciated. Oh, but remember, I'm only 15... :help:
hey you sound quite similar to me, i started to see signs i wasn't straight when i was 12 years old, however, back then i was brought up to believe it wasn't normal so i was in deep denial about it. whenever somebody talked about lesbians i became very uncomfortable and it wasn't until i was 14 years old that i finally came to accept myself as not being straight and realized there is nothing wrong with liking the same sex. i identified myself as bisexual until recently, even if you are a lesbian you can still be attracted to the opposite sex, i mean i still check them out! and i can see myself with a guy, unfortunately when i have been with guys it just hasn't felt right. But of course it is different for everyone. its perfectly normal to be confused, sometimes for certain people their feelings can change daily, mine sometimes do, your not alone on this and there is a big support network here
Thanks yeah... Idk I guess I don't know what to think of it all.. or HOW to think of it for that matter. Like I personally know one person who is openly lesbian, and I kinda wanna talk to her about it, but at the same time I really only started to get to know her recently so idk. I feel like I could trust her but I wouldn't know how to start a conversation going... especially since I'll be seeing her nearly every day for the next year-- we go to school together. I guess it's just getting me down that I don't know what to make of it. I'm the kind of person that can't deal well with uncertainty... so this is bothering me. and that's putting it lightly
feelings are the most confusing things on this earth. just hang out with her more (i mean not just because she is a lesbian but if you really want to be closer friends with her as well), and once you know for certain you can definitely trust her, open up to her. it may come up in conversation, you just got to wait for the right moment, you don't need to initiate it i think i can see where you are coming from, it bothers me as well but over time it gets easier, trust me!
Yeah, like every once in a while she'll be messing around and say "You yag bro?" and then start laughing at her joke. I just roll my eyes and smile but never say anything. as far as I know she doesnt suspect anything, but who knows. I mean maybe she has some idea and is waiting for me to say something.... *sigh* idk I guess i just gotta keep thinking on it and stuff. and yea I will of course keep hanging with her, for both reasons. Thanks, it really means a lot. this is literally the first time I've ever "spoken" these thoughts aloud. feels good
haha my friends say stuff to pay me out all the time, i go really red when they do. you never know, i mean when i came out to my friends, they had suspected for a while i wasn't straight, and they say they get a 'vibe' from me. some people have a really good gaydar but at least if she does know she will be accepting of it, i was lucky as well that all the friends i have told so far are all cool with the idea and try and catch me out checking out other girls so they can mock me don't stress yourself though, let everything come naturally, its all good, i'm happy to help!
Thats cool I hope that I can have that, if/when I figure this out. My main worry is my other friends though. Other than her, every one else is super religious and constantly talking homophobically (if thats a word). She has her friends who support her and stuff but she's two years older, we only hang through basketball. I'm worried about how my other friends would act. Especially after she graduates in a year...
i hope so too! i go to an all girls catholic school, you can imagine the homophobes there as well! but not all who are catholic are homophobic. there are a few openly gay people in my year level and the one above, but they don't let anything bother them. i have only been able to tell my close friends, i don't think i could deal with other people knowing. but i'm sure there would be others besides her that are accepting around your age group and year level. and besides if you tell her the others don't need to know if you don't want them to (you just got to know you can trust the people you are telling), if you feel uncomfortable about them knowing i suggest not telling them, at least not yet.
Yea that's kinda where I think I'm headed: possibly telling her but no one else... yet... but idk I guess i'm not completely out of the 'denial' stage or whatever just yet, because when I really think about telling her, or anyone, it feels like it would make it too official. Even if I was just telling her about my confusion, it would seem almost like a complete confession, you know?
that's understandable, you just got to wait for the right time, it will come don't worry but in the mean time don't force yourself, and don't feel like you have to put a label on yourself either, its perfectly normal and if you need to talk to anyone this is a good place
Thanks and yea i've noticed haha. well i've plenty more on my mind, but i think i'll leave it 'till later. I really should go to bed, its almost 1am here xD Thanks a bunch, I'll definitely be back in a few hours after more thought. Thanks, it means so much to finally talk to someone
One thing you also might want to consider is what it might mean to her to have someone else to talk to about it. I mean, if people are homophobic at your school, she has to hear that all the time, too. You would be giving her support, not just getting it from her. You are right that it will make it seem more real--it's much harder to stay in denial once someone else knows. But from my perspective, that's kind of a good thing. You are distressed by the uncertainty, so things that reduce the uncertainty will help you feel better.
Yea I guess that makes sense... never thought of it like that. Well I have a few things to ask of you awesome people 1) How should I bring up the topic, start a conversation with her? I'm not a straight forward person... face-to-face anyway. 2) May be a strange question, but one you've probably heard before: What can I do to figure out if I'm gay? I mean... I get the feeling I am, but then other times I don't. I feel as if I should know, right? But I know it's not always easy for people to figure it out. I guess what I'm saying is what should I do? What can I do, other than talking to people about it? 3) My main worry right now is my friends. As I said before, they're all extremely religious and homophobic. I mean, they're never physically against gays and stuff... but it's obvious that they don't like or support the idea of it all. I know that if they end up holding it against me and avoiding me, then they were never really my friends and all... but I just don't want it to resort to that. Any suggestions?
