Am I a lesbian if I'm not interested in boys and not attracted to them? I'm 16 years old now. I think that some guys are nice and funny as a friend but i never feel anything sexual towards them. I don't have crushes on boys or anything. I just feel that i'm not meant to be with the boys.. But girls.. I love girls. They are really cute, lovely, nice, sexy, some even mysterious :icon_wink I love girls bodys, curves, legs, boobs, collarbones.. And i'm very attracted to some women celebrities. I dream of girls every day.. :redface: I have a crush on one girl in my school.. I've liked her now for six months and every time i see her i go crazy and very shy. When she walks away i can't help and just stare at her.. I have butterflies in my stomach when i see her or when i'm thinking of her. And i dream of her almost every night.. I have always had some female celebrity crushes and when i realized about six months ago that i like her, i started to think that what if i am a lesbian. Sometimes i see some random girls which i find attractive and i become very shy and start to get butterflies in my stomach.. I have never felt that feeling toward guys.. But when i was younger i have two crushes on boys who were quite girly though and they both had long hair. But i have had more crushes on girls than boys. When i was younger i had at least three little crushes on a some years older girls than me. And about 1-2 years ago i also have two crushes, one on some girl who was a year older than me and one on my female teacher.. but i didn't realize yet then that i might be a lesbian.. But now i like this one lovely girl which I can't get out of my mind.. And summer vacation began today and I can't see her the whole holiday.. I miss her already.. Fortunately, she comes to the same high school as i.. :icon_bigg Recently, i have catched her staring at me strangely and once she talked to me randomly.. She has also liked my three profile pictures, one my folder and some my statuses on facebook.. I know that she's bi and i really wanted to tell her that i like her but i was too shy and i have a bad self-confidence so i couldn't.. And i don't know if she already knows something because she always looks at me with hesitant expression.. Oh how could i tell her.. Umm.. So what do you think? Am i really a lesbian? I'm a bit confused.. And can i still be bi and interested boys someday even though i'm not now? Yesterday my mom asked me that aren't you interested in boys? And she said that at my age girl should already be interested in boys.. I felt so awkward and i didn't say anything.. But she doesn't know my feelings toward girls.. I just wanna curl up next to my crush, hug and kiss her.. <3 I feel so lonely.. :icon_sad:
Yes, you're a lesbian if you don't find men sexually attractive and find women sexually attractive. It's possible that one day there will be a guy who you find sexually attractive, but I wouldn't bet on it. Since you're crush is bi, tell her about your feelings. Be honest, but don't say anything that will make her uncomfortable such as saying that you love her or bringing up her personal life (guy did that to me and it was freaky). Just say something like, "Look, I really like you and want to know if you feel the same." If she says yes, plan a date with her. If she says no, just say ok and leave it at that. If that happens, it'll suck, but it won't be the end of the world.
Yes, you are totes a lesbian. Now, I would definitely recommend what brocub said, because it's a sensitive, yet direct approach. I really think you should try, and it is extremely possible that even if she declines, you could have a wonderful friendship.
Can undertand how you're feeling in some ways, just how you get real nervous when you see someone you like and have butterflies.. =P Sounds like you could be leaning towards lesbian for sure but most people on EmptyClosets say sexuality is fluid so dont worry so much about labels I think you could get to know the girl more if you're feeling super shy and see where that takes you. So just asking to go to the movies some day or a coffee or something =D Ps. Welcome to EC xx
Lesbians are women that like women. You are a woman. You like women. So you are a lesbian. (Or any other term you want to go with) I can completely understand though. I'm not even that shy of a person, but being around the person you like can leave you in shambles. First of all, I'd say try befriending her a bit. Try to just get to know her more, get her to be more comfortable around you instead of just asking her out of nowhere. This way, you establish the relationship better and get a feel for if she likes you or not. I know that with you being shy and all, that could bit tough. But just take advantage of the oppritunity when it presents itself. Chatting with her online, see if she needs help with anything, casually bumping into eachother, etc. Even if your a bumbling mess, I'm sure you might still be able to strike up a conversation with her. She might even think it's cute. If you hit off, than great. If not, then at least you can try just being her friend.
Yes--you are a lesbian. But you already know that, really, don't you? My recommendation would be to come out to the girl. Or, since you know her sexuality already, you could just ask her out. (This would be for a date--you are asking her for a couple hours to start with, not some big commitment.) Telling someone all of your major feelings all at once is not usually a good idea. Even if she would be interested in you, she probably doesn't feel as strongly as you do yet, so if you tell her all your feelings at once, she will feel like she has to reject you. If you just ask her on a date, it's not as big of a deal. It gives her a chance to develop feelings for you, instead of expecting her to have them already.
Incidentally, what's stopping you from seeing her over the holiday? Also, I didn't respond about it before, but it's unlikely that you are bisexual. There is no evidence of it in your post. While it's possible that you could meet a guy later on that you like, I think it's probably not something you should depend on. It doesn't make any sense to base how you identify in terms of your orientation on the remote possibility of the pattern changing in the future. If you like a guy later, you will always be able to say, "well, I didn't really like a guy before, so it was new and surprising information for me. I couldn't possibly have known that would happen." But if you identify as bisexual first, even though there is no evidence of it, and later accept that you are a lesbian, you'll have to explain that you never really did like guys, you were just saying that. Most likely, your current interests will be consistent, meaning that you will keep liking girls. Contact the girl you like privately on Facebook, and tell her that you have realized you are a lesbian, and since you know she is bisexual you want to know if you can hang out sometime so that you will have someone to talk to about it. Make sure to mention that she's the first person you've told so that she knows not to tell anyone. If she can, she'll hang out with you. Once you are both out to each other, the context of how you interact with each other will be clearer. You'll be able to flirt and stuff. If she's interested in you, she might give you signs. But if nothing else, you could hang out over the summer.
Okay at the first, thanks the all of you for your advice! I really don't know what to say to her because we never speak to each other.. So we don't know each other well, i mean we're only class mates. She's so friendly to everyone at school and i know that if i was braver, she might has to talk to me more.. but i'm so shy and i hate it! I'm very talkative to those who I know well but I'm really quiet at school.. that's why no one never talks to me anything.. That's why i was so happy about when she once just talked to me randomly when we were in the corridor just the two of us.. She looked into my eyes the entire that time and i was going to go insane in that moment.. haha :icon_bigg I actually dared to answer to her and I tried to look normal :lol: And what comes to my mother, I don't know how I could tell her because i don't know if she's homophobic. She seems to awkward when someone is gay on tv or somewhere and i know that she never wants to me being lesbian. She always speaks about boys and tells to get a good man when i grow up. I probably never want to tell her and disappoint her.. even though sometimes i'd like to tell because then everything would be easier.. uh i dunno. One time i was very depressed and anguished and she shouted to me about everything when I was too tired to do anything.. I just lay on my bed and tried to cover all bad feelings.. I have to say that i cut myself for a few days by then.. Because i felt so bad and lonely with all my concerns..I feel always that I deserve no one. And now all of you probably think that i'm insane and yeah i know i was so stupid but i'm afraid that i collapse for it again.. :icon_sad: as little time ago i was going to.. I don't really even know why i feel so bad and lonely sometimes.. Sometimes i'm just hoping that everything would be over.. I always become so happy when she smiles at me <3 I wish i could see her smile again.. ---------- Post added 6th Jun 2012 at 04:53 AM ---------- Oh but i'm sorry.. why i even write of these things here.. they don't even belong to here.. I'm so sorryy.. Now i feel so stupid..
I'm not sure if you are because the same thing is happening to me in 9th grade and I like a guy I little but I don't go crazy but there is this girl and she is in eighth and she also my neighbor and she is so like I love her I always think about her all the time in science in math in social studies like oh my gosh I even dream of her but now I'm lonely because she moved like two days ago and I feel so bad I feel I should have done something but she still goes to my school and I see her sometimes but usually not that much I kinda am her friend it's just that I would spend more time with her if u wasn't a TOMBOY I know it's weird but I would spend time with her if I could and you know tomboys they never admit anything so I'm stuck in the friend zone kinda like you so you aren't the only one :/ I know how it feels though she stares at me too I don't know j always try to look like a hot guy she likes I have a feeling she misses me to though but then I think she doesn't like her birthday was ten days ago and I had fifty dollars for her it's just that her dad hates me for some reason and I was to shy and scared I was also reaching her how to ride a ripstick and that involved holding hands and she would always ask me not anybody else so I miss her so much I always stood up for her too u dont know what to do now I miss her so I feel like you =(
