Whenever I like a guy, like I get butterflies and stuff and then he starts to like me back I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I don't know why it happpends. It happens in every relationship I'm in (men, parents, daughter, close relatives) but not with women friends. I feel like its because with the others I feel like I'm going to hurt them, but women friends don't care about me like the other ones do. I'm not sure though. This is why I get so clingy with my girlfriends because without them I have no one.
just sounds like you have some anxiety, the more you put yourself in those situations the less anxiety you'll have, but it takes time and patience
Really?? Why does it happen to everyone? I'm wondering why it doesn't happen when I'm around women...maybe because I'm a lesbian...I like guys but just can't see myself in a long term relationship without getting a panic attack. Women I can think of in a relationship kind of. I don't know, this girl I thought I had a crush asked me for my phone # and I got this feeling of dread (the same one I get when guys like me or people want to be close to me). I mean I just don't know anymore. I'm also married to a wonderful man, but there's so much anxiety and I'm questioning my sexuality and the more anxious I get the more I feel like I need to run away with a woman (sometimes man). I just need to find myself. I am emotionally attracted to women for sure. The rest I'm not sure. I just can't keep thinking I'm a lesbian and being married, I feel like I'm suffocating, lying and cheating my husband.
Hello Again Confused Lady. You seem a little anxious and I wanted to step in to see what I could do to help. It really seems like your anxiety is putting you through the ringer and I just want you to breath and release all that built up tension. I wanted to let you know that I finally made peace with my being a lesbian. Here is why and when you read this response, do not in anyway try to compare it to yourself. I know that you are familiar with my story and how I put alot of emphasis on the boys I believed I had a crush on and the men I believed I fell in love with throughout the years. It may have very well been heteronormative behavior on my part. I certainly believed I liked boys as a young girl and I certainly imagined sex with them before I ever had a boyfriend. But I was was always afraid of intimacy with a boy, a penis was frightening because I viewed it as the bringer of disease, pregnancy, and heartbreak. During highschool I had one girl crush on a fellow classmate, I wanted to embed myself in her life and be her friend. I thought if I could be friends with her, I could be popular and beautiful. I remember having one sexual dream about her. I never had a boyfriend in high school and my first boyfriend was when I was a junior in college. I had the innate feeling to pursue this one man and I did, I think it was hormones and the need to mate. I was 20 when I finally lost my virginity and our relationship was rather emotional and intense. He died tragically a year and half into our relationship and it broke me heart to pieces. That is the only man I have ever loved. All of my other relationships with men have been to fill voids or for strict companionship, nothing intense like that primary relationship. I have gone on to have sexual relationships with men, however, when that emotional space fails to be filled or that man cannot deliver the love I believed I deserved, I felt at a loss. In graduate school I developed another crush on a classmate. She was a true intellectual and I loved the connection of having someone to talk to, someone who listened to what I had to say. I remember having dreams about her and fantasizing about going to see her for a fling. Nothing ever transpired, mainly fear of my own sexuality. I moved to Austin for a year and Virginia and for the most part, my sexuality seemed hetero-centered. I dated men and even developed a sexual relationship with a married man, I am not proud of it. In Virginia I was pulled to men, but I could not find one to date. They were either married, dumb, or recently released from prison. I was not feeling the connection. When I moved home to my homestate of birth, I started to notice women and only women. Their clothes, then their bodies, then their looks, and then their names and what they were about. Within a year, my attraction to men is gone and my attraction to women has generated feelings of butterflies and sometimes feeling stupdified in an attractive woman's presence. The urge to meet a woman and fall in love has taken over my daily life and I feel that this is the identity that I may have repressed for years upon years. I am in a place where I now doubt if I was ever attracted to men and may have very well only be attracted to women and suppressed those feelings. This does not sound like you. I think your anxiety has gotten the best of you, but for me my sexual identity has awakened.
Hey miss, thanks for your story. I'm glad you have found peace. Your story is rather scary though lol. You seemed so into men and all of a sudden it has vanished...I'm terrified ill wake up at 40 and decide I'm a lesbian. I'd rather blow it open now and see what's there before I take up more of my poor husbands life. You sure you're not just curious though...like something new in your life? Lol, not trying to push you in the closet, I'm sure you'll find your answer while you explore. I don't know about me, I'm just going to try, I want some peace with this instead of being tortured every few years. Its just really difficult as I have my family and the anxiety gets worse when I think of them. if I'm wrong then at least I got an answer and can move on with my life, and if I'm right then ill finally be happy (this sounds so selfish) but I just can't live with these thoughts/feelings etc. Good luck with everything hun, wishing you peace and happieness
I think it may be in general the fact that women just relate better to women. Your obviously sexually attracted to males so I wouldn't jump to anything.the sickness is sOmething I get too. But you might be bisexual but I wouldn't say lesbian. I hope this sort of helps!
Hey curiouslady, do you really think I am just curious based on my post and maybe my anxiety is being amplified? Not sue on that one, not sure.
Hey I'm not feeling well. I'm feeling really suicidal. I'm sure I'm a lesbian and need to tell my husband and family. I'm not sure hun, but you have the option of finding out through exploring.
I did, she said we will discuss further on friday when I see her. She only wants to be paid, no one can help me. I miss my husband, who we were before these bad feelings came in. I feel like if I just let it go, I will be happy...I hate having feelings. I feel so guilty and weird when I see my daughter. I won't kill myself cause I'm pregnant.
Then you need to find someone who can see you now. This is an emergency situation and an online board can do so much. Call 911 or go to the hospital, now. I think this is more of a obsessive compulsive disorder then sexual. Being with a woman or a man is not going to help you. You need a safe environment to.work on you. It's ok! You will be fine.
Hey miss, don't worry, ill be ok. I really won't do anything because of the baby. I'm justt having a hard time dealing with all these feelings. I really really want to explore and see if they are real and will bring real happieness like I think in my mind. I'm really upset about losing my husband. I just don't know. I keep asking God to give me dreams of having a relationship with a woman and I get dreams of sex with my husband or us together. When people say its ocd its like my heart breaks and I think "omg ill never be happy" I don't know if I'm attracted to women. I don't know how to read my feelings. I just do things and see what happens...wish I could explore this so it would stop torturing me. I just figure that women are the only ones I don't get bad feelings for...
How do people even know if they are gay/lesbian/bi or not. I'm so confused. I don't know who I'm attracted to, I feel like I'm attracted to every woman, like emotionally based. I tried watching lesbian porn today and as soon as I pictured myself as one of the women I got turned off. I had to switch to hetero porn to finish. However I'm not looking at the man ever, not really, but there needs to be a penis there, I look at the woman cause I'm relating to her. I don't know how to figure this out while married. This attraction to women does not feel like the one I had for men. Attraction to men was giddyness, butterflies. This one feels like I'm going to touch/kiss people, like just attack them and not in a turned on way. If I try to slow it down I feel like I'm going to throw up. Ugh, I just need to know...and these crushes...this girl I thought I liked told me how worried she is about me and another girl (new) msgd me and I feel like I like her now. I get so bored of people. I don't myself happy with the old girl anymore now its this one, I'm sure if she showed interest in caring I'd back off too. I don't know if its cause I can't handle intimacy with anyone or I'm homophobic or what...
