Letter to my Teachers

So i have decided to send a revised version of my coming out story to my teachers, who i reallt cherish they are great people and they helped me so much as a kid, they we're honestly all like second mom's.... So i feel like i should do something speacial for them, i never feel like i have given them back enough after all they gave me.... Anyway i decided to share here my letter to them aswell as a revised version of my coming out story, not much is changed at all just a little bit added on at the end mostly.... Anyway i want to know if this is a good idea? i mean i will do it regardless probably because i love them and want them to know in the best way possible without whispered rumors or hearing it from other people they know.....

To All of my teachers from Banks Elementary School in Room 1

Throughout my entire life I had a secret and I always told you I wanted to write my story one day. I always loved to write about my life and personal experiences and this attached story is something that really meant the world for me to finally tell, I haven’t gotten to speak to any of you since my visit after Graduation in 2005 but it means just as much to me for you to read it as it would for me to tell it to you.

I have spoken to someone who genuinely wants to put my story together into a performance with others into monologues and to see that happen would really mean the world to me. I plan on continuing my writing further whether this comes to fruition or not and build it into a story for everyone to read. I also plan to pursue acting even though my first shot at it didn’t go to well. I regret that none of you got to see me act I think you would have really seen how much I grew from a shy little kid into a man with a story he wants to be told.

I also still love photography and plan on continuing that as long as I live maybe I will pursue it more professionally soon as well, I keep meaning to send photos off to photo contests but I haven’t gotten around to it, I really love having memories though my stories, my pictures and my mind have it all, and if I don’t my friends, family and teachers do.

I would love to share a lot of my photos and more stories with all of you in the future, I will never forget how much you all truly helped me and influenced my life. I know as time passes it will be harder to reach you, that’s why I hope I will hear back from all of you, Your card meant so much to me when I graduated more then any present I could have ever gotten I’m so happy I went back to Banks Elementary for that day to visit you all, I’m sorry I missed Mrs. Millis but her words meant a lot and I was very happy to hear you all wish me luck with my writing and photography.

I know that all of you helped change my life so much I only wish I could do the same, hopefully in the future you will have my pictures, my stories, maybe even my movies who knows, and you will remember me back then. If I ever get married which god willing I will you will all be invited and if I’m ever in a play I will send you all tickets, whether you make it or not knowing you will share my memories with me means a lot.

Thank You All

Mrs. Nancy Danielson

Mrs. Edie Reid

Mrs. Julia Peterson

Mrs. Cathy Millis

Mrs. Anne Dewey

Mrs. Leslee Sipp

I would also like to thank Mrs. Debbie Headrick and Mrs. Debra Mott, Mrs. Cheryl Field, Mrs. Neissner and a few others, feel free to share my story with whomever may have knew me, I’m sure they would love to see my passion for writing and life as well.


Love Always,

Youre Favorite Student : )

Chris Bergstrom

P.S. I also attached recent photo of me I had done while I was attempting to break into acting a few months back.


My Coming Out Story

It was the first year after I graduated from High School. I had known I was gay for at least 6 or 7 years, and before that I really hadn't known for sure what it meant. I knew for sure though that I would never tell anyone I was gay, or even that I thought I might be. As time went on my courage grew and I thought well if my mom laughs at Ellen DeGeneres jokes maybe she wouldn’t mind so much if I was gay. I mean that was really my first big experience of seeing someone who was out, proud and gay... I remember becoming obsessed with her show. It didn't even matter that she was a Lesbian she was gay, so was I, and we shared this bond, that no one around me knew while watching her, laughing at her jokes....then all of a sudden I'd hear someone say something derogatory about her. I may have chuckled silently, to not be caught, to not be called names, to not see my loved ones stare at me like I was a person at the circus with bewilderment and confusion.... no I was not going to be that. So as years went on all I ever thought about was how I could hide being gay. I plastered every poster of a female I could find all over my walls; WWE Divas, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson...while secretly knowing I wasn’t displaying these women on my wall as sexual toys in some game of lust other teenagers did. I actually admired these women. Strong, beautiful, successful. I was a wrestling fan since I was 5 years old. It was one of the few male bonding rituals I genuinely liked. And it had nothing to do with their looks or physiques or anything like that. Hulk Hogan was the cartoon-like hero, Shawn Michaels was the playboy, and acrobat I wanted to be like, and Bret Hart was the inspirational athlete's athlete.

But as time went on I found more inspirational stories about coming out. None that really come to mind, as I read most of them online or heard them from people telling me about themselves. That was usually my first question anytime I talked to anyone who was gay online. Anyway I eventually decided I would in fact come out, but exactly when, I had no clue. When I think back to how many times during High School I almost came out, I'd need at least 4 sets of hands to count with. Some of the people I just decided could not be trusted to keep it a secret, others I just did not want to burden them with the news, because at the time I felt like it may be a burden to them. Anyway, my Drama teacher was one of the first to really give me confidence. I was unlike my normal self in that class. I was outrageous, clever, and fun. Something I could only be around with my close friends or some family.

Anyway, my teacher told us about her brother who was gay and how he had died of AIDS. She told us all about him as a person, and how much she loved him. She told us about the trials and tribulations of coming out. And she said that there was probably someone who was gay in her class as she was telling us this. We all of course looked around, many of us probably never really thinking about the possibility of someone amongst us being gay. But then people spoke up openly, telling stories of how much they love and respect gay people, while others stared at there shoes, or others silently giggled. I just sat there a little stunned, looking around. Which reaction should I show? Do I want them to know? Should I stand up and just yell...."I'M GAY!!!"? What would I do after I did that? Would I stick around to see everyone's reactions, or would I run out the double doors and never return? *RING* Saved by the ringing of the bell, and off to the next class or school ended. That was basically my first day thinking about coming out...but not doing it. Eventually, I graduated from High School, grew apart from most of my close friends, and just enjoyed spending time with my family.

Time went on and I became closer then ever with my cousin. I had decided when I finally chose to come out it would be her who I told first. That's when it happened. One day she came in my room after school, slunk down a binder on top of my bed, and asked if I wanted to play Mario Party, our favorite game. We didn't care about the new systems, the Gamecubes, the PS2's, we were plenty happy with N64 and Mario Party. We played it for a few hours sitting at the end of my bed, playing various battles of Grab Bag, Mushroom Mix-Up, and Bumper Balls. She eventually was called out of the room. When she left she forgot her binder. I saw a paper sticking out which had a Myspace logo on it.... I was intrigued, after all Myspace.com was a growing phenomenon with members by the millions. At the time I stuck to only adding close friends and family, but when I saw this paper I saw a cute smiling face and thought he looked gay. Then I read this "blog" as they're called and I sunk down in my bed, a sole tear flowing down my cheek as I knew that what he said here, is exactly how I had felt most of my life in High School.

I thought, why does my cousin have this printed out paper of a blog by a gay guy? Does she know him? Was she planning on showing me this? What's going on? Am i out? Did I tell her somehow? Anyway, I stuffed the paper back in her binder, left my room went and got a soda pop. She was slumped on the couch watching the TV. She sat up when she saw me and said with a distinctively squeaky loud voice her nickname for me. I of course replied with my nickname for her and my own imitation of her voice. We then talked about who knows what, and nothing was out of the ordinary. After all we had been playing video games, so she doesn’t know.

Later in the day, my other cousin who is somewhat homophobic came across the paper and made some type of derogatory comment about the kid, calling him by name. I didn't comment on it, and eventually I just chose to leave the room. Nothing bothered me anymore, as I had heard it all a dozen times. They had no clue I was "Gay", so why should I give them reason to think I was by saying something to him? Anyway, I eventually looked up this person, read every one of his blogs and courageously typed up a long message to him.... I sat there blankly staring at the words I just typed, scared knowing I would be coming out to someone who knew many of the same people i did. How would he react? What if he told someone who knows my cousins? Anyway, I pressed 'send'.

And basically the rest is history. I started a brief but unremarkable 3 week relationship, which of course was secret to everyone but me and him, and eventually my cousin and my mom. I had come out bravely and upfront to my cousin with him on the phone with me the whole time giving me encouragement to do what I thought was best, never pressuring me to come out. My cousin's reaction made me want to hug her and never let go. She smiled, gave her little chuckle, and said "Are you kidding me? Are you serious?". Then I cried. She had no clue I was going to cry, and she hugged me and said she loved me and always would, and she then became inquisitive of me and him, asking if we're a couple, and so on.

My mom was next for me to come out to; this would be a little bit harder. Afterall, if she didn't accept me, I would literally feel like I had no reason for living. But I told her while we were driving (WHICH I DO NOT RECOMMEND!). But honestly we lived in a huge house with lots of relatives and it was the best choice, as we were alone. She sat silently, trying not to cry. I'm sure the thoughts of me never being married, never having kids, and so on, all flashed through her head, but eventually she asked me if I was sure and then said maybe I just didn't know yet. I told her I knew I was gay and even openly told her I was dating someone. We had a few brief little disagreements later in the day about it. After I told her I could still get married and have children, she kind of sternly told me it is not the same. I cried....she hugged me.....and it was back to everyday life!

I eventually decided I did not want to be in the closet at all. I felt way too proud, way too happy, and the feeling of coming out was such a strong power for me, I felt invincible! So I decided to do it after we moved, which we had already decided we were doing long before my coming out. After we moved, I came out in perhaps a kind of shocking way. I came out via the internet, via Myspace.com and via my Blog. I have many, many cousins, and they are not quiet people and for once I'm glad of it, as I wanted everyone to know. Time passed, and everything stayed basically the same way. My Grandpa felt a little weird around me at first and actually told my cousin that he thought I had been turned gay by being hypnotized at the State Fair I had been to a month before, in which I did many, many things while being hypnotized that many of my family never thought I would have done....

Not everything has been great about my coming out. My relationship failed, the next one wasn’t much better and actually started me on few a bad vices that I have since for the most part given up, If I look a little different then you remember me or may have expected from a small town boy from Banks, Oregon it’s not because I changed who I was, it’s because I grew into who I am, and deep down always have been. I love my family and friends, life is more fascinating every day and as bad as it gets sometimes I stay happy knowing that I’m not in this alone, and I never really was.

 

Thank you both.... Teachers really mean alot to me espeacially the ones that really put extra time and effort into helping me as a student aswell as becoming my own person, Those ladies are just awesome speacial people and i think everyone on here needs to make sure and thank those speacial teachers after they graduate in high school, and never feel weird about keeping in touch.

 

I just meant as in don't miss the oppurtunity to know how much they truly mean to you....and graduation is a speacial moment and makes them extremly proud.... i almost cried seeing them cry when they saw me after all these years i hugged them all and took a picture with them.......

 

i gave each one of them a really nice letter aswell as my senior picture, and spent a good half hour with them that day, i also sent them the picture of all of us together and a christmas card....... i miss them

 

Thanks guys i really encourage everyone who had a favorite teacher to contact them somehow to let them know how speacial they are to you....

 

I miss school

 

she may crash and kill you to and that would be horrible

 

deffinitley plus i would miss you