Being Born Gay

Well, even though I consider myself bisexual (right now I'm leaning more towards guys), none of those three apply to me at all...

 

I'm not sure what you mean by ''experimenting'', though.

If you mean physically, I've never been with a guy, nor have I been in a relationship with one at all. I just know that I am attracted to them.

 

None of these apply to me. I have a loving family and my dad's a great and accepting guy, albeit a little oldfasioned at times. I think there could definitely be a correlation with those events (at least some of them) and homosexuality however. More research will probably have to be done.

 

Well, I grew up without a father figure. Sort of. He was present in my life, but he was not a part of it. Our relationship was either rocky or non-existent. But, now after he and my mother separated and went through all that turmoil, few years passed by. He's now a part of me and my mother's life. Still separated, but remain on a mutual understanding that it can't work between them, so they remain friends. And, he acts like a father figure now.

But, I've heard of studies like this before. It's interesting to think about, but I don't think these are determining factors at all. They might cause some sort psychological issues, but not to the point where they made you gay.

It'd be interesting to see a correlation though on:

Kids who grew up with 2 mothers (Growing up without a father figure) or 2 fathers
Kids who were sexually molested (Generally it's men, so if the offender was a woman?)
And at what age they were abandoned.


I know what you're getting at though. But, I dunno. Like I said, my father was present, but in no way a role-model. But, I've known I was gay since I was about 7 or 8. Didn't know exactly what it was at the time, but I knew. I mean I was so far in the closet even at that age, when kids in elementary would make those dumb jokes "You're a homo-sapien", all I heard was homo (knew what that word meant, and the stigma attached to that but not the latter), and I'd just deny it "NO I'M NOT!!!" Haha. And then once I got to junior high, the feelings and attractions to men became much clearer, but repressed them all throughout and into high school.

So, I do believe your born gay. And, ok. Say your not. Does it still even have to matter who you decide to love, have sex with? It's your life.

 

None of these happened to me. I would say that my childhood may not have been necessarily normal, but the environment was always loving. Of course, the didn't know that I was gay at the time, so that never factored into their views of me. I will also add that it never took a sexual experience to realize I was gay. It took a while for me to accept it fully, but deep down I always new. I pictured myself with women for many years. Never could I view them in an intimate manner. Still I would see the picket fence everyone talks about with the woman and the children in the yard. Didn't make a difference in the end.

 

none of these apply to me either. However when my mum was pregnant she wanted a girl so i've always wondered if there's some kind of psychological connection during pregnancy between mother and baby that could make someone gay. Has anyone else ever thought that or had a parent expecting the opposite gender? Sorry if that sounds confusing but hopefully someone will understand what i mean.

 

The only one that would apply to me is that I've mostly grown up without a father figure in my life and have relied on my mom for everything. I don't think this has anything at all to do with the fact that I'm gay though.

 

I had none of those things happens to me, although I had a slightly closer relationship with my mum as a child, me and my dad didn't really communicate much. I don't think that caused me to be gay, but maybe think me being born gay therefore led to me being close with my mum. I definitely think I was born gay because it's something that is embedded within me, it's not something I can just turn off. I also remembering noticing my sexuality at a very very early age.

 

Do you have information on who headed this study, what it's titled and where (/whether) it's been published?

 

None of these apply to me whatsoever, so I'm gay without a real cause. I suppose I was a bit of a mother's boy as child, but that's about it.

 

None of the above for me. My dad passed away when I was 21, but I was already well and truly gay by that age.
But otherwise, I never had one instance of abuse, abandonment or any other disturbance of a happy childhood.

Plus, my brother had exactly the same, was younger than I was when our dad passed away, but after being exposed to the exact same set of stimuli, turned out to be straight.

Which, by the way, does fly in the face of this study. If abaondonment, neglect or abuse would be strongly correlated with being gay, then entire batches of siblings would end up gay. after all, siblings are usually exposed to very similar influences. Yet, in practice, it is usually only one or a few who turns out gay.

I do think the wording (especially the bold part) is interesting:

This does identify it as influenced by the "ex-gay" or "homosexuality is just a lifestyle" lobby. Those tend to not speak of homosexuality as something that's real, but as "an idea that you can get rid of". Something that occludes your true sexuality, which they assert is heterosexual for a full 100% of people.


Still, I would be interested in seeing if and where it is published!

 

i am so grateful ive never had any of those options happen to me, i cant imagine nor do i want to know what its like to go through any of those options.

my sympathy for those who have had one or more of those in their life

 

Well, I have two older sisters and my parents were both really hoping for a boy the third time around - and they *kind of* got it XD They've just spent twenty years thinking they haven't...

 

I don't really think any of these apply to me (though I really don't know quite how to classify myself yet).

I don't know if this counts as a form of abandonment, but I had both of my parents until I was 18, when I abruptly found myself partially separated from them when my mother gave up 15 years of sobriety and my father went to prison.

 

I had the most normal, average growing up experience in the world. Yearly family vacations, trips to zoos and museums often, proper encouragement in terms of school, etc..

Nothing bad ever happened to me. I've led a very charmed life that I am thankful everyday for.

Now, what drove me deep into the closet was the anti-gay climate and slurs I heard everyday. Every once in a while from my parents (like, I can seriously think of maybe five incidences total over the past 24 years, but all of them stuck with me) and all the time at school. All the time. I do not envy out teenagers back then or today. I mean, it affected me to the point that I attempted suicide, I can't imagine if you're the target of all that anti-gay taunting and abuse.