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How to tell if someone is genuinely interested or just using you?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tycho, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. Tycho

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    I'm curious because right now I can't decipher where I stand with someone I like.

    I'll go into further detail if I have to, but really I'm just looking for any tell-tale signs.
    My personality is to help out people/wear my heart on my sleeve and that leaves me vulnerable to those who just want to take advantage of me. I have been lead on in the past only to be friendzoned when I was no longer "needed".
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    yeah, i know.
    but a few examples what this person says or does could help in context.

    in general, if a man or woman thinks you are hot, calls you baby right away, won't stop if you ask them to, and eventually after ignoring your wishes if you refuse to give them what they are after they will insult you and say you don't know yourself and act as if they do.
     
  3. bob94

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    Hmmm, tough one. But I would say to just look for the subtle things. For example, look and see if the person holds good eye contact with you. If somebody were using you, they may have trouble keeping eye contact (kind of like they're hiding something). Do they touch you? If they move really fast sex-wise, then they might be using you. But if they do little things, like touch your arm, then it may be a sign that they genuinely like you. Of course, all of this is very vague stuff, but it may work if you're good a picking up on small things.
     
  4. Tycho

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    Well we've been talking/texting a lot lately. I sense some chemistry however sometimes it feels like I'm just being spoken to when they need help with something (not monetary or anything like that).
    At the same time, getting help could be they way they are trying to initiate further contact. As I sense we both have a streak of shyness. However sometimes they leave me hanging for a long time as if they've just shut down the conversation (I could be looking into this part here too much).

    So I'm confuzzled.

    Edit: ninja'd by Bob94. I'm going to look into some of the things you have mentioned in our next few interactions, thanks for the tips.
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    i know a guy who does that too.
    darn them mystery peeps!
    let me know if it turns out they really do like you and for you not for information.
     
  6. Tycho

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    Well I'm likely going to hang out again sometime this week so hopefully I'll be able to gather some more insight into what they want hahaha. It's funny because I'm usually great at reading people however when it comes to someone I like my brain turns to mush.
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    :grin: Yeah, what is that about?
    oh, yeah...you become a Zombie! Don't eat the brains!
     
  8. bob94

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    Me toooooo!! Like I usually have a spot-on "gaydar," but when it comes to a person that I really like, it's as if I'm blind to their gayness/straightness! Very frustrating.
     
  9. Tycho

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    Well, I've hung out with the girl and I'm still really not sure where I stand hahaha. Hopefully when I have more free time I can invite her out more and see what happens.

    However I'm moving away from fear of being used to just the fear of being friend zoned at the end of all of this. Some chicks are so confusing.
     
  10. insidehappy

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    used signs:
    only contact you when they need you or need something
    leveraging you to get something or get to someone else.
    when you ask to hang out they decline, when they need you to hang out and be a wing-woman, they contact you.
    you feel like it's onesided
    you initiate conversations and have to lead it. there is no equal back and forth. if you stopped the conversation, they would not speak.
     
  11. Deaf Not Blind

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    :/ yeah, that.