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should I go in or not, LGBTQ college group, Thursday?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Deaf Not Blind, Jun 6, 2012.

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  1. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    I just realized, since i dropped out of accounting, I am free on thursdays, when the LGBTQ group meets on campus. :confused:
    i am wondering if i should go.

    here are reasons i not wanna: i saw pix on fb of a really rude girl from my old ASL class, who mocked deaf teacher for talking funny. yeah, she is also last year in that series so not likely she will have a lot of peeps to gossip about me to, still, i do know she could find a way to out me to the deaf community if she wants.
    also, i know one bisexual guy who hates me because i am a Christian, not that i ever did anything at all bad or mean to him, he just hates anybody who loves Jesus. even though his gf was my friend, and i think he did something...she no longer fb messages me. so i am scared if he is there...i don't want him to suddenly befriend me for being trans, i don't like haters.

    but reason i should maybe go: my first real opportunity to be around others like me, and maybe good to try it.
     
    #1 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 6, 2012
  2. rainbowfox

    rainbowfox
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    well if I were you with no doubt, i would go. (I live in a society that being LGB is crime and being trans is a tabu)
    about the thing that make you feel you shouldn't go
    about the girl, you say she is rude, if she outs you, you always can use this misbehavior of her against her. you can simply say she is lying, I think every one will believe you not a rude person.
    about that guy, I'm not religious at all, but in this situation I have sympathy with you. I don't like haters too. but by going to the group, and even befriending him, you will give him a great lesson, to not judge people based on their beliefs.
    so I think you should go :slight_smile:
     
    #2 rainbowfox, Jun 6, 2012
  3. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    hmmm...i will keep that in mind.

    by the way, middle east, big area. lots of religions. it used to be illegal here too, in free America. maybe one day you will live in a freer nation too.

    my best friend lives in India, i think it is a bit safer, but not much.
     
    #3 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 6, 2012
  4. rainbowfox

    rainbowfox
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    yes someday my people will liberate them themselves too :slight_smile:
    and yes India is really safer place for LGBT people :slight_smile:
     
    #4 rainbowfox, Jun 6, 2012
  5. JRNagoya

    JRNagoya
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    For me, going to the college's Queer Grad meeting was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Since then (and it's only been a handful of months), I've made a lot of friends, I have my first boyfriend, I've been to my first Pride Parade, and I now have an active social life where otherwise I would of stayed home doing nothing and hating my life. But don't do it for other people's sake, do it for your own. The LGBT crowd can be just as bad and judgmental as any other group, but you can't let their petty jealousies and squabbles define how you want to life your life. I am in such a better place now that I've come out. I can't promise you the same experience or transition, but I do hope you take those first few steps.
     
    #5 JRNagoya, Jun 6, 2012
  6. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    it would be saying it is true.

    so if i have thought nearly exclusively of kissing gils, and being a boy in body in my mind since age 10, told my friend i wanted to grow up to be a man, then age 19 start masturbating with my mind showing me I'm a young man fucking a girl in her vagina to ecstasy and had never seen porn or a penis, and today dress in all male clothes to feel not in drag....what does it make me?

    i am asking others to say what they see...i know but i want you to tell me.

    does a female do that?does a straight person do that?
    do i belong with the queer group do i fit in where?
     
    #6 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 6, 2012
  7. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    You are a transman. That means you are queer, yes. You belong in the LGBTQ group, and you should definitely go. And then you will have people to go to Pride with.

    However, the fact that you like women just means that you like women. It is not part of the evidence that you are male. The fact that you are a man in all your fantasies is significant in that regard, but it would not be any less clear that you are a transman if you had fantasies of having sex as a man with other men. The fact that you think about kissing and having sex with girls is evidence that your sexual orientation is toward women--it has no bearing on your gender identity.
     
    #7 Ianthe, Jun 6, 2012
  8. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    cool, thank you.

    I first read the word queer in a non-gay kids book. "something queer is going on", which i got at the library. it was a mystery that 2 girls were solving about a Llasa Apso dog went missing. That word my mom said I could not use, but it was my favorite for saying weird because it sounds so funny! :slight_smile:

    so now I can say I am queer? it is okay? I'm Queer, and I am Transgender, and I am sexually attracted more to girls, even though I prefer to hang out and be buddies with men .
    :slight_smile:
    I am glad I said it.
    I know the signs only for gay and lesbian, I am sure there are ones for me too, but not one person deaf has shown me ever.
    btw, my sign name unfortunately a teacher gave me as a teen, it looks an awful lot like lesbian and other words sexual. :frowning2: I need a better sign name.

    Yeah, I have never been able to keep myself female in any fantasy, when I tried, I would a few seconds later be the male me again with a girl. I eventually gave up. Sometimes in just an interesting dream, like a cool adventure, I would be a man, and it was so interesting to me that I may wake up and remmy it all, and how I interacted with people who saw me as a real man. And kinda sad I had to wake up.

    Anyways, there maybe ONE thing that could keep me from going this week, my best friend from India happens to be in town guess when. hahaha! Well, I feel if destiny says she happens to want to meet EXACT same time as the group, Im not supposed to attend THIS WEEK, but otherwise, I am trying to get myself the balls to do it.
     
    #8 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 6, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  9. rainbowfox

    rainbowfox
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    well i don't believe in chance :slight_smile: but one of my friends always say when don't know what to do, use a coin, when the coin is spinning in the air you will wish for what you really want and you should do that :slight_smile:
    i think you DON'T HAVE TO go now :slight_smile: go any time that you like, there is no rush :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
    #9 rainbowfox, Jun 7, 2012
  10. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    :slight_smile:

    well, i would like to see my long time friend. we known each other for over a decade, and she had a hard life and now is wealthy. she is one lucky woman. but she does not get it, she tried to call my cell, but i told her to text and that i didn't pay the bill, and to call me at home...she didn't call me at home and complained on fb pm that she called not text my cell and a man answered. i tried to tell her i got Purple #, it is an interpreter, duh...i am now hoh, and prefer text on my cell. she knew me hearing.

    so i guess i got to pay for either a phone card to text her or pay long distance charge to home phone call her long distance cell #. :frowning2:

    ugh.

    she said after 1pm. not where, just dt. :/
    the Queer group is near dt and 3:30.

    well, we shall see....
     
    #10 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 7, 2012
  11. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Maybe you could come out to your friend, and she would go to the group with you. But if you aren't ready for that, that's okay too. Will the group meet again next week?
     
    #11 Ianthe, Jun 7, 2012
  12. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    yeah but school year is almost at end.
    why do i feel at 3:30pm i am coming out of the closet?
     
    #12 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 7, 2012
  13. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Because you are!
     
    #13 Ianthe, Jun 7, 2012
  14. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    oh gee!
    am i really actually ready?!
    I'm actually going to come out of the closet??
    but my closet is going to be so lonely...aw!
    I THINK I LIKE IT CUZ IT HAS SO MANY GIRL CLOTHES IN IT I THOUGHT WAS A HOT BABE IN THE DARKNESS! :wink:
     
    #14 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 7, 2012
  15. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    i am so proud of myself.

    i am willing to move into acceptance now.

    whatever i am, i am..and it is good.

    i am Queer. i am sexually deviant, and have a place in the rainbow.

    i am transgender, and i also want to have sex with girls.

    i wonder what my future will be like if i accept fully and embrace my real identity?

    i want to be fully me, and i want to be accepted for what i am.

    the religious lies i had pressed upon me that made me feel like i was a pervert since childhood i release now.

    i want to start my life whole.

    this is my life, my body, and i have a right to have any kind of sex with any gender i want, and nobody has a right to impose their religious morals on me!

    i reject the thinking that says we can't have sex until marriage, or that my parter must be a male or must be cis-gendered.

    i am not a straight female!

    i don't know my sexuality fully but i want to start exploring it now.

    i am ready to be me.
     
    #15 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 8, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2012
  16. Catkin

    Catkin
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    I'm really really happy for you.:slight_smile: Well done on going to the group, making a new friends and getting to a place where you feel so good about yourself. :thumbsup:
     
    #16 Catkin, Jun 8, 2012
  17. Deaf Not Blind

    Deaf Not Blind Guest

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    [​IMG]

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/7677256...&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_view_type=gallery

    this is a symbol can be used for transgendered souls like mine, and i think not overt, so it just is a personal reminder i am a man inside no matter what someone else may think. :slight_smile:

    here is what it says on the site:" astrological sign of Mercury is traditionally the symbol of transgendered people. In Greek mythology, Hermes (the Greek version of the Roman god Mercury) and Aphrodite (the goddess of love) had a child named Hermaphroditus. That child possessed both male and female sexual organs, hence the term hermaphrodite. Also, rituals associated with the worship of Aphrodite are believed to have been highly sexual, involving castration, transvestism, and homosexual relations

    In the symbol itself, the crescent moon at the top is supposed to represent the masculine, and the cross at the bottom represents the feminine. The ring represents the individual, with the male and the female balanced at either side"
     
    #17 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 8, 2012
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