Do I tell him?

oh wow.

gee, im not sure. I'm not gay, i am Christian raised to think I'm wrong and you are wrong..all that..and yet always love everybody. i personally even in closet times would still been a gay persons friend.

so he must fear that gay men all hunger to fuck men? can you maybe 1st show him how this is untrue? how old is he, 15?

maybe you can never tell him...but then if you really are gay, and not attracted to him at all, he will never know you and other gay men are not all out to get at him...you could take the chance, and by his knowing you so well, he may stop thinking that way.

 

well what he said really hurts, so first of all a big big hug (*hug*)
well, by what he said it is kinda obvious that he is really homophobic, maybe by having serious talks you can change his mind. but right now coming out to him can have different results, lets list them up:
based on homophobic things he said first his reaction will be rejection but this can end in two ways
1) you say his almost like your brother, if you explain for him that you are not and never crushed on him, after the first shock he will come back to you and every thing will be as always used to be with a little difference, he will know you better
2) the ugly scenario, he won't accept you. you are gay and no matter what it wont change, this will hurt, but it's his decision.
you can't stay in closet for ever, one day you will be out to all, and even not talking about that day, in future there will be lots of awkward situations (situations beyond talking about girls, think about the time that he is dating and then he asks you about your date), Doors of this closet can't be closed forever.

---------- Post added 6th Jun 2012 at 01:41 PM ----------

and last thing to add, EC, and all of us are here to help each other feel free to ask or post (&&&)

 

Even though he is your best friend, I think he might not be the best *first* person to come out to.

Someday, you will come out to him. At first, it's likely that he'll have a hard time with it, but I expect he'll come around. He might freak out a little, or he might say it's cool and then pull away from you for a little while--he will probably need some time to process it emotionally. Just understand that his immediate reaction is just that--an emotional reaction--and not necessarily a considered response. Keep the door open on your friendship for when he's ready to be accepting of you.

For a first coming out, though, you want to choose someone who is likely to be accepting of you right away. Do you have anyone like that?

 

this ^ is really thoughtful esp, the last paragraph creating a support net before coming out to important people is essential

 

I agree with Ianthe.. again (this seems to be a new trend of mine).
He needs to know eventually, it will hurt him way more when it comes to his attention later. I say when, not if because it will happen. The issue with him hearing it secondhand is that he will see you as a "f*g and a liar" He may love you like a brother, but hurting him, and coming out with something that he evidently doesn't like would be a gigantic punch in the face for him emotionally.

 

I used to think that being LGBT was wrong because I grew up in the church. My thoughts on this changed when my friends started to come out to me. It made me question what I was taught growing up.

I would not come out to this person first. I would come out to some others so that you have a support group first. It will probably take some time for your friend to come around.

 

Gay men like only some guys. Most will not be interested in him, and if they are, they will leave it alone, knowing he is straight. Nobody likes to be rejected.

But maybe he is the kind of guy who won't leave a girl alone even after she tells him she's a lesbian, and he expects gay men to be the same as he is in that way. I don't know.

Gay people have the full range of romantic feelings that straight people do--they may be anywhere from uninterested in a particular person, to having a severe romantic attachment.

Non-romantic sexual interest in close friends is unusual. You either aren't interested in the person, or you have serious romantic interest, not just lustful sexual desire.

 

Well, maybe you could remind him of how bad it felt when she turned him down, and point out that gay guys really do their best to only like other gay guys, because nobody likes to feel like that. Rejection is not fun. So even if a gay guy is attracted to your friend, he will try not to dwell on it since he knows it can't go anywhere.

Actually, that situation is completely illustrative. Maybe you can get him to see that even if a guy likes him, it's just like him being into that gay girl. All he would have to do is what she did.