So i'm 20 years old, a student and had many relationships with women. Lately my heads been racing if i'm gay or if im just trying to find my true self again, I aren't into gay porn or men but my mind can't help but question itself. I dont think i'd like to be gay, i wouldn't like to have that male on male relationship, and that's not been homophobic as one of my closest friends is gay. I just feel like it's not for me and the whole male sex thing is a bit too much for me in my eyes. The only time I can ever say that it feels i could be is that I know when a male is attractive, but not in a sexual way. It's doing my head in just having the thought in my head, I'd rather be 100% sure am one or the other, but like i said, im not digging the gay things. Thanks for any advice
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! Well, one thing to keep in mind is that sexuality is on a spectrum, or possibly more than one spectrum, so it's not really a question of "one or the other." I think it's a little strange that you are questioning your sexuality just because you can tell which men are attractive. Almost anyone can do that. With straight guys particularly homophobic ones, you might have to phrase it like, "which of these guys do you think the most girls have the hots for," or something like that, to get them to answer, but they can tell which guys stand up the best to our cultural standards of attractiveness. Are you sure you don't have other reasons for questioning that you aren't admitting to yourself? Maybe you should explore your feelings some more. Also, you mentioned that you have been in relationships with women, but you didn't say anything about them. Could you tell us more about your relationships with them, please?
It's more the fact that my mind keeps asking itself, are you really gay. The fact is i looked camp as a kid, I was very metrosexual when in my teens and I sometimes feel like I can act gay when around people. I dont know if its me been wary of sounding gay or me turning gay. I dont have a turn on for men or out like that, which makes it harder for me to focus where i stand. 6 relationships in 4 years. Im 20, and got a child with one of them, they just end up turning to :***: 90% of them are nutters, longest relationship I had was with my first love for 2 years. When i was like 14-16
