So...sorry for yet another straight crush thread. Is there any way to stop having a crush on someone? I think that I might have a crush on my friend. She's definitely straight. It's just making me feel really awkward around her. I'm in an unusual situation in that we are on an exchange year in a foreign country. She is my only contact from home and since she is far more fluent than me she is my link to anyone that I have met in this country and she is the closest friend I have here anyway. So I can't really avoid her or spend less time around her. (If I did that I'd probably go mad from lack of social contact!) I don't really know what to do.
Gee to stop having a crush on someone either i really focused on something not important to me: i will exaggerate in my mind a physical trait as being very ugly. so if they have big eyes, i will tell my mind they are bugging out, or if they have a big smile that it turns up too much..i will nitpick and try to find a way to make them ugly to my mind. if that not work and my mind says who cares i love their soul, I hope to find a different person to crush on so they will fade away. being in any contact with them keeps it going if you can't uglify them to yourself...at last with me. since you are so near each other, you crush on them because they are your safety net, and secret hero. best of luck with that...
Well, my first tip for getting rid of a crush would be to spend less time around her, but since that's not an option... As Deaf Not Blind said, it can help to focus on the negatives, just enough to keep yourself from idealizing her in your mind. Keep reminding yourself of the reasons why it wouldn't work. I think sometimes it's easy to get the idea into your head that "she's perfect, if only she wasn't straight!" But nobody's perfect. But if hanging out with other people isn't really an option, I'd say find other distractions. Do you have any hobbies? I know you two are in an exchange program, but do you have classes or school projects that don't involve her? Maybe try pouring yourself into those.
hi i was passing thru similar problem. i tried avoiding him too. but later suddenly one day i realized that it is not his fault dat i love him so i started talking to him again. it was dificult bfore. i used to have a wierd feeling wen he was around. but soon i started giving more importance to my friendship then my love its getting better nd better evryday. some times my mind says to me omg i love him so much. but the next moment i jus smile and say to myself its not possible sometimes things cant happen the way you want them too. i know its not much of an advice. but jus wanted to tell ya dat many of us are passing thru the same phase feel free to mesg me anytime tc
Thanks very much for the replies. Deaf Not Blind: I'll give the uglifying (giggle, I really like your word) idea a go, although I think I might have to be a bit inventive; the girl I'm talking about is stunning. (Seriously, I've never met anyone who gets hit on by random strangers with the same frequency as her!) The fact that she's also a really wonderful person isn't helping. Your idea is definitely worth a try though. Pinstripe: You mean like the fact that she's straight and has a boyfriend. eusa_doh::rolle:Groaning at myself and this stupid crush.) I do have hobbies, I'm already involved in three different (and time consuming) sports. We don't spend all our time together. (Although any time I go out it is always with her). I don't obsess about her constantly, it's only when I'm alone with her that I start to feel awkward. DavidRoberts I'm really hoping this will just fade in time too. She's a really good friend and I don't want to have to try to avoid her just because of this. Thank you
Have you come out to her? I had a big-time crush on a guy for the best part of five years, and for a lot of it he was one of the only things I thought about. But when I came out to him and it finally became completely obvious that he wasn't interested (even thought it was obvious anyway), it kind of smacked me in the face. I still was attracted to him, but it wasn't a huge crush anymore. I really don't know if it's a good idea to come out to her or not, but it's definitely something to consider.
Thanks for replying TwoMethod. I haven't come out to her. I'm not out to anyone actually. Theoretically she'd probably be a good person to come out to. She definitely seems accepting - we passed a gay couple holding hands the other day and afterwards her comment was "That's soo sweet!" and she seemed really supportive when I mentioned a lesbian couple that I'm friends with. Actually, before I started really crushing on her I was kind of mulling over possibly coming out to her. Basically, although I've been questioning my sexuality somewhere in the back of my mind for coming up to four years, during this exchange year I starting considering everything way more seriously...and my head exploded. So half of me debated whether to tell her, just to have someone (in real life) to talk to about this, seeing as how she is the only person I know here. I did bring up some (really subtle, barely noticeable) hints actually, but...I'm chicken. I don't think I want to tell her now though. I am a terrible liar and if I came out to her the subject of who I like would definitely come up. And I really don't want to have that conversation! I already know she's straight anyway. And in a relationship. A very serious four year old relationship. I know that this crush isn't going anywhere. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to come out to anyone at all - I'm still really confused about everything. I also kinda suspect that I'm going to end up bawling all over whoever I come out to first and I'm good friends with this girl but I'm not sure that would go down too well. :rolle:
