I know coming out is completely the sole decision of the person, but I want some feedback. I've never had much help about coming out from my straight friends because they don't understand how hard it is for us. Here is my situation; I came out to my first friend about January of my freshman year of high school. She accepted me fully and it made out relationship a lot closer. After that, the coming out to friends begin and is still going on. I'm out to mainly all my close friends and they all accepted me. I was happy with my friends knowing I was gay, but when someone came around or hung out with us who didn't know, I was "straight" again and I hate that feeling. The feeling of having to hide myself just because I'm afraid of what other people will think. I recently went camping, with a close friend who knows I'm gay,with all their friends from way up north. My friend said I would have so much fun, but only if I told them I was gay. So, the day after we got there her really hot friend asked her if I was gay (he has a sister who is) and for the first time, my friend said yes. She told me she actually about said no because she does at home all the time. Anyway, eventually everyone knew and they were all accepting of me and I had the time of my life. When I got home I started crying with my closest friend while we were eating out because it was too much to handle. I loved being out to all those people and not having to hide. Here I came, back to my small town, just so head back into the closet. It wasn't fair. It still isn't fair. Now, the dilemma presents itself; to come out or not to come out? I want to. I want everyone to know. I'm a little scared about people reacting bad, but I think I can handle it. My mom and sister know, that happened a year ago. They insisted it was a phase and denied it. What should I do?
Are your mom and sister still in denial about it? Is that your whole immediate family that you live with, or are there people at home you haven't told? I think that you can come out at school if you are ready for that. It sounds like you would just have to stop denying, so that shouldn't be too complicated. Do you think there would be any bad consequences if you came out? What would happen?
yeah she's got valid questions. if there are REAL problems, not imagined, to coming out...concider waiting until they go away. An example would be a father stating if my son told me he was gay i would beat the liven...., yeah that would do. But, if you family and be sties know, the town may already too if it is small. So just be you, and if you feel like expressing more your inner gayness do it. You can wear a rainbow pin on a backpack saying kiss me I'm gay, and out you are.
Well, when they denied it, they ignored it. So the topic is never brought up. When I told my mom, she said that we don't believe in being gay and I won't live a gay lifestyle, and I told her that I'd do whatever I wanted with my life. We hardly ever go to church, so her margin for religion is small. My dad also lives with us, week on, week off. He works 5 hours away so that makes my life better. I really don't like him that much. He's a very prejudice person. It's not just gay people, it's black people, middle eastern people, etc. My dad is definitely very religious. He is legit about that. My mom is questionable. I think she acts like she is because it's to make my dad happy. I personally don't subject myself to any particular religion. I think it's stupid to try and wrap our minds around something so great. I don't believe there has to be an explanation to it. The only problem I see with coming out at school is word getting back to my parents. My brother and sister are both in their twenties and don't live with us anymore. I'm not going to lie, I'm afraid of being kicked out. I honestly believe my dad would do that to me. I know when I graduate and move out that I'll probably be disowned. I've accepted that, and I have a game plan. I just don't want it to happen while I'm still in High School. I have a gay aunt on my mom's side, and she's really cool, but my dad never talks to her and my mom only does a few times a year when she visits my grandma. ---------- Post added 8th Jun 2012 at 11:20 PM ---------- My best friend said that everyone knows anyway She says I'm not good at hiding it. If they do, hey, less work for me.
Contact your gay aunt and tell her you are gay. Ask her if you can stay with her if you get kicked out. (Most likely, you can stay with her if you get kicked out. Either that or with her mom/your grandma.) You will feel better if you know there is a plan for if that happens. If you don't feel comfortable actually asking if you can stay with her if you get kicked out, just tell her that you are afraid of being kicked out. If you don't have your aunt's contact info, get it from your grandma. Surely, you can get your grandma's contact information. If you come out at school, there is some risk of it getting back to your parents. How much risk depends on what the lines of information are from your school to your parents. More importantly, your dad, since really your mom knows already, and hasn't told your dad. How would the information get back to him, do you think?
I just feel like someone would tell a parent who would tell other parents and my dad would get told that way. And, I have a friend who lives in my town who said, if i ever got kicked out I could go their. Her mom (she doesn't have a dad) knows and likes me.
That's good. I'm glad you have a plan for your safety. Well, you can also just be out to more people, rather than completely out.
