Sudden Identity Crisis

If at all possible, just live and don't focus on your sexuality. Certainty is not necessary and is, frankly, impossible. Having an identity crisis is not necessary to be gay. I had one and I would have rather skipped it. I'm glad that you were able to be so honest with yourself so quickly. If you see yourself in love with men and you are sexually attracted to men, I would say that you are gay. There's a difference in acknowledging how attractive a woman is and wanting to have sex with her. Like, I think Lady GaGa is the most attractive woman on earth, but I wouldn't have sex with her. Because I'm not attracted to her. Finding someone attractive does not equal being attracted. Do you have a supportive home life or supportive friends? I'll keep you in my thoughts.

~Harlan

 

Haha, I definitely understand that. Well, maybe entering the dating scene could help. It couldn't hurt, in respect to your issue. And it could provide a source of support. I am curious about what you mean by "I decided 'I'm gay.'" Do you think you made a conscious choice to be attracted to men, or do you mean that you acknowledged your sexuality? And I can certainly relate to the depression. It makes me very cynical about romance. I would advise a good listen to the song "The Beauty of Uncertainty" by KT Tunstall and a look at the Brian Hendricks quote that inspired the song.

---------- Post added 9th Jun 2012 at 02:46 AM ----------

the beauty of uncertainty | hobo magazine

 

You are depressed and it has killed your libido. It doesn't mean you aren't gay anymore. You are still gay.

That is a significant depression, though. Are you in therapy of any kind?

 

kt tunstall Beauty Of Uncertainty - YouTube

 

Well, if you are willing to work on it, therapy can help you with that. You would start slowly, and work into it.

The thing is, you really want to address the causes of your depression.

Why are you not getting along with your parents?

You are a good person, and you are worthy of love. You will be able to find love.

 

Hmm. So, do you think your parents are the issue, or what?

 

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I have a form of bipolar disorder, and it comes from my generally mental family. Hmmgh. It is a little disturbing knowing that you could end up crazy. But I digress. Are you feeling any better about your issues?

 

That's exciting that you got into college. Your school will probably have a LGBT club you can join, which will be nice.

Also, you will probably have access to counseling through the school. It would probably be a good idea if you looked into that.

 

fyi, not 100%proof any kind of mental disorders are genetic, even if it runs in families...a bad home life and environment...like rainy state...and you can achieve a lot of depression.

my mom's psychiatrist does not prescribe to the old belief of it being genetic.

 

Really? I'm pretty sure they've done studies with people who were not raised by their biological families, and still found higher incidence of the same disorders... I'd have to look it up, though...

Genes are definitely not always the cause, and when they contribute they are often not the sole cause, but, naturally, some people are genetically more prone to depression than other people.

 

Yep, really. I can give the doctor's name if anybody cares.
It is evidently, like Freud had a theory related to sexuality that still exists, another old belief that many psychologists think is true and many psychiatrists too...but is debatable.
Just as there is no proof what causes gayness, there is no proof what causes mental illnesses, and to say as a fact it is genetic may cause some people to fear and hate.
I think some people may be more naturally prone to having issues, and that could have a gene link, but that a bad lot in life...like violent home life of abuse and rape and too much stresses...can trigger it to happen. I have had SUCH abuse and soooo many bad things like being nearly killed, I should be insane by now. My mom is nutty, right...pecan I think? Queer...No such luck, sigh, I am sane. Rats!

 

he saw his buddies in a war get mentally ill, that was an environmental factor to trigger it. he then devoted his life to help them...and now seniors who need it.
he is a doctor, we aint we just read stuff others say.
i think i will accept they studied a lot.

 

As far as I know, I'm the only bipolar person in my family, but I would put forth a strong argument that there are some undiagnosed cases in my family. There's a looongg history of mental issues on my dad's side, but they usually only come up in the later years of life. There are just some weird brain issues that my family chooses to ignore. I'm the first one who realized that there was a real issue so early. I am not on medication, though.

 

well, just focus on you, not family.
you may or may not be helped by meds, and it is hard to find right dose of right one as every body is different and can change over time. if you did seek help therapy is nice but they can't get you on drugs, psychiatrist can prescribe and hospitalize the bad cases when needed to save somebody.
i would recommend not taking any drugs yourself, i mean illegal ones like pot and LSD, etc. they do alter your mood and mind and can make you worse permanently. booze is a represent too, fyi.

for minor sadness, sunshine boosts your mood, a special lamp for gloomy days can help a tad bit. if nice, no matter how much workload you have, let some go...and take several hours for just you, a luxury we tend to deprive us, and take a walk, in the sun, look around you at the ground at the weeds and their various shapes and colors, see the leaves and needles on trees how each i different but same and brightly colored, bring some homemade snacks like sand wises and good grapes, sit in a quiet park and look at a pond with kids splashing and birds fluffing feathers, and let yourself just observe and be in the moment think of nothing of work or home or problems just enjoy peace.

idk if it can work for u, but a bit it helps me in stressful times, but i don't suffer in the way you do, so my best it helps a bit.