Online Dating (Pros/Cons)

As far as dating sites themselves, they're not really much different than other places to meet people. It can go any way, just like other methods of meeting people: I met my bf on one, my dad met his now wife on one, and some other people in my family have met some real crazies on them that they are lucky to have dodged. Depending on what the site gears itself toward, you might have to do more or less sifting through people to find the kind of person you want, but it can certainly be done.

The key, I think, is to be prepared to move on from the site just like you would in any other dating scenario. After a while, it would be weird to keep going back to the same bar for dates, or hanging around with the same pair of friends that introduced you. It would also be weird to keep going back to said bar by yourself, without the person you met there. Similar with the site.

Basically, if you're open and honest about what you're looking for, and you don't string people along or allow yourself to be strung along - again, essentially the same as with any dating - then online dating can be fine.

My only suggestions for your specific situation though - first, I would look for a different site. If it's focused on hookups it will take you a long time (and a couple of broken hearts, if you're anything like me) to find someone decent. Save yourself the trouble - there are many dating sites out there for people who are looking for more than just to get laid (keep in mind that you may have to pay for those sites). Second, if you're not willing to upload a picture, you're not going to hear from many people. Even on sites that aren't about hookups, people still want to see the person they're talking to - wouldn't you? Unless you think your family is trolling gay dating sites to see if you've joined, it's probably not a big deal. Not saying you need a whole gallery, but even something to give people an idea of what you look like would help.

 

I think online dating is becoming a more and more viable way to meet someone. I do think you should shop around and make sure you sign up for the right site, however. Make sure it caters to what you're looking for. I'm unfamiliar with gay-specific dating sites- ####### is really the only one I have experience with. But I know on that site you can set your orientation as gay on your profile and even make your profile invisible to straight people on the site if you want.

As far as not uploading a picture, I think you will have a much harder time if you don't. When people see a dating profile without a picture, they generally assume that that person is really, really insecure about their looks or flat out lying in their profile. I know from your other threads that you are somewhat insecure about your looks, but on a dating site, it sends a much better message to be upfront about the way you look by uploading a photo. And really, hiding the way you look won't do you any favors if you meet someone in person anyway. And I think looking happy and confident in a picture will leave a much better impression than having none at all, regardless of your looks.

Sorry if that didn't address your question directly, but that's just my two cents.

 

I was actually really apprehensive about trying out a dating site (kinda like you). Mainly because I was worried that people would find me online (and hence knew I'd be gay). But then I just realized that the only other people that would really see my profile are other gay people, and even if it was someone I knew then at least we would both have something to talk about, and I would know that he's gay as well! So I signed up and I've mainly had positive experiences so far. You'll find guys that will message you just for sex but that's to be expected...you're going to have to do a lot of weeding out.

As for your picture, I agree with the above poster, it's going to be really tough to find someone without one. I hope you can find the courage to post one up soon, and best of luck finding "the one"!

 

I've done it with guys (when I was still in denial haha).

My gay friends do it and have met some good people on there, and also some weirdos. I'd say it's a good option. Personally I'd rather meet a potential date through friends, but I'm considering doing the online thing just so I can get some dating experience and practice (and maybe meet someone cool of course). The thing with the online dating is that at least you're both on the same page in that you're looking for a date and you don't get stuck in the "friends" trap that I keep getting stuck in.

 

I've tried online dating and I've been very successful. I understand that you're not out, but most people will overlook profiles without at least one picture. Just be firm in what you're seeking, honest and ready to meet some awesome people. Yes, you're going to run into a few odd people, but all you have to do is, ignore them. Majority of the women on the site I'm a member of are very serious, so make sure you're ready. Best of luck