Feelings...

I know how you feel because I've been feeling the same way lately. I've been out for a while and I am proud but sometimes, some days are good and some are bad. For me, I'm starting to grieve over the lost of what I thought was suppose to be my heterosexual lifestyle. I know I'm not missing out on anything because my life for the most part, is still the same. Initially when I came out, I made a big deal out of it because it was an exhilarating feeling. I still feel like I'm the odd one out in my family, but it's all in my head. It's normal to feel uneasy around certain people even the people that you've come out to, it's almost like you're on edge. I became easily offended whenever someone would talk negatively about gay people, as well as defensive. What you're feeling is most likely anxiety, which for me is normal; however how did you feel prior to coming out? I hope I'm being helpful because I know what you're experiencing.

 

I understand how your feeling, I have also felt similar. And I think Pink is right about the anxiety however there may also be some inadequacy and depression... I think it would really help if you could find other gay guys to be around. Perhaps you and your mom could go shopping for some gay things like posters of guys for your room or something, at least that would help to change the atmosphere and give you and your mom a day together. It would also get you out of the house, which helps a lot. Just try not to be down on yourself, it's hard but when you get down on yourself your just making it harder.

 

I think a lot of us have felt this way but just try to cheer yourself up, go do some things that make you happy and don't forget to bring somone else along Just take some time for you.

 

Why do you have your doubts?

lol The posters was an example, but that's cool, I understand. Is it possible you can still go out and spend the day with you mom? Take her out to lunch and go shopping (for whatever) and just show her how much you appreciate her. And at the same time this would get you out of the house to. Can you go see a therapist? I mean we all need someone we can talk to and therapists offer some really good feedback plus they know of a lot of resources out there. Your young and your going through a lot, and people shouldn't expect you to know how to handle everything. There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist and speaking to him face to face.

 

I would think that every major town has a gay newspaper or flyer or organization of some sort. For me it's Seattle and there newspaper is called the SGN. I looked in it earlier for myself (even though I don't live in Seattle, it's the closes-est city by where I live), and I saw a few things in there for youth groups (but nothing for my age people... at least not much by where I live). Perhaps if you look online for a gay newspaper in the closes-est city by where you live, you will also find some youth groups. You should try it, it will get you out of the house and help you to make more gay friends.

Don't worry about the date. I know what you mean by text messaging, I hate not speaking face to face with people. Try and think positively about it, look forward to it. And try to have a good time... I wish I was going out on a date, is he cute?

 

I think that's great, I hope things work out for you two.

As far as you being shy... I've been shy my whole life actually I think I have social anxiety. This has prevented me from doing a lot of things and as a result I've pretty much watched my life pass me by. Don't make the same mistake I did. Grab the bull by the horns and live your life. I am trying to do the same and it is very difficult, but I'm tired of being lonely. I have to make these changes. Don't let being shy stop you from having a good and happy life.

 

Wow you live in Vegas too! Yeah definitely not lacking in gay friendly places. As far as the feelings, I definitely deal with those too. It is just awkward. But you know what? I think your personal feelings about being gay and your friends/family knowing are more dramatic than their feelings. They may very well be more accepting of you than you are of yourself. Give it time. Live your life! What is that saying???..... It gets easier. Lol!

 

Well Cali or somewhere else would be much cooler to live but Vegas is... okay. I'm just thankful it isn't some tiny homophobic town.

I felt so weird when my workmates knew but they all seemed more than okay with it. I made things more awkward by my being unconfortable with it. But really none of them cared. So while I made a big deal in my head over it, they were just like "oh you are gay? cool! ... So when do you wanna go for steak and eggs???" All of them were either nonchalant or were just like "haha yeah duh you're gay!"

 

You can't be scared of "what if", Those two words will hold you back more than anything else in life. It's good to prepare for something bad, but it's not good to sit around and wait for it to happen.

There's to more words you should know... "Who Cares" If people don't like you because your gay... who cares. If they laugh at you because you wear your underwear on the outside of your pants... who cares. If they call you names because they don't like the way you look... who cares. But chances are... there not going to care, so why should you?

You need to find activities that give you confidence, are you into sports or play a musical instrument? Build models, into survival, Freestyle bike/skateboard? I think if you had more confidence in yourself you would probably be less shy and would probably live a much happier life.