It's a bit complicated. Ive another thread which has my whole story on it (I guess you can view it on my profile (it's called Help please what would you do)? sorry I'm new) but basically I have fallen for my friend B. I know it sounds really cliche but I just really like the guy, he's the only reason I know I must be at least bisexual if not just gay. I'm having a party in a couple of weeks and I tend to get into deep conversations late into the night when I'm drunk. B will (hopefully/probably) be staying over. I first met him at our mutual friend's 16th party where we both stayed the night at the friend's house. We were both just in our boxers, spooning all night. Writing it down sounds ridiculous but no one cared it was just like 'haha bromance whatever'. Now I feel different. Then I wasn't active in embracing him or whatever. I just let him. But now I've realised how attracted to him I am. And we think (our close circle of friends) that he might be gay. And he keeps going out of his way to touch me (hugs, pat on the shoulder). So basically I think there's a slight chance the feeling is mutual. But what if it isn't? How mortifying it would be. Our friendship would be irreparable. Should I come out to him at my party? Or just spend the night with him and try to show I'm interested. I'm quite a shy guy, but I don't wanna let this slip. If you have any advice, please share e.h. x
Spooning? That is So. Adorable. I'm sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I just can't help myself. Sounds like your friends are okay with "the gay," so that's good. I wonder what they think of you, what with the spooning and all. I don't know if your birthday is the best time, but I definitely think you should come out to him as questioning. Unless you know. Is there any other evidence about your sexuality for us to consider? You definitely seem to be attracted to this guy, so it's less about that than about self-acceptance of your sexuality overall. I think we can safely eliminate "straight" from the potential options, though. You might tell him, as like, a heads up, that you've been questioning your sexuality lately, and if he's not into you like that, he needs to stop with the spooning and things, because it's making you all confused. You know, the truth, basically. If you establish the context and he is still spooning you, in your boxers no less, I think you will have the answer you are looking for. Or, you could just respond more to the spooning, and see if it escalates. Might be weird with your friends there, though. I don't know, frankly, I think you might already both kind of be out to all your friends there. Spooning in boxers is not exactly straight boy behavior, on either of your parts. Even just letting him. So... yeah. For me, any two people who are cuddling in their underwear, I'm going to assume are together. Like that. Yes.
Ok, so I went and read your other thread: Help please, what would you do? Isn't it your birthday today? Happy Birthday! (!!)(!!) You've been questioning for years, actually, right? Your friends all think B's gay, and they don't seem to mind it. Do you think you could come out to one of them? They appear to be accepting. Is there a girl that is a good friend that you could tell? Sometimes that's easier. Come out to B if you think that would be easiest for you, but if that is too intense all at once, you could try coming out to one or two others first. Have you considered coming out to your gay aunt?
You remind me of myself and my best friend. We spooned all night in boxers, but it really gave me the wrong idea and made my feelings for him much more stronger, even thinking about it makes me well up! I really hope your situation is different and that it is all mutual, because I know mine isn't. Maybe you should see if more things happen before you tell him, I guess coming out to him wouldn't be too harmful though.
First off , Oh my god thats so adorable!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why it just is. But pretty sure he's gay never seen a straight guy willing to spoon. But just tell him when you are ready and are confident in your sexuality.
Aha, funny you guys find it 'adorable'. At my party, a guy I'm not really friends with but acquainted with, is coming as someone's plus one and he's gay (the only guy I know who is openly) so I may ask his advice at the party (I find it easier to talk when drunk). While I know to you guys it prbably seems obvious that B and me have mutual feelings but I'm scared it'll turn out like Lewisss said? He's just an amazing guy and I don't want to get my hopes up. I'll ask J (the gay guy) if he thinks B is gay, probably come out to J in the process and then maybe just be upfront with B and tell him. But I don't think he's ready to show his affection (see other thread for background, it's called hELP PLEASE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT), I'm just confused and upset and eurghh...
Booyah. I would say that as far as hints to somebody's sexuality go, "spooning while in boxers" is an almost blaring gay siren. But then again, people can be complex and miscommunications do take place, even in seemingly obvious scenarios. Still, life is all about taking risks. I would suggest you approach him, talk about the issue of sexuality and make a decision based on the outcome of said conversation. Good luck dude. “All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it” Corny? Yeah. Still an awesome quote, and more often than not, true.
First off I isidra really harry to say that spooning in boxers is becoming more typical straight boy behavior (especially around highschool) It might depend on your area and how many people go to your school, but i have to friends that "love" each other. I don't know about the hugging and stuff because frankly it wrenches my mind that these two are like this, but there are more than a few pictures up on Facebook with these two either naked (obviously they are covered) or in their under garments sleeping together and spooning each other. And they both like girls. Yup That being said, still try to come out to him and see where it goes, but if it escalates in the party your friends may most likely not let you two live it down haha. Picture a few years from now and they still bring up how you and that guy got hot and heavy. So, if you want to avoid that, not at the party, or at least somewhere private.
We're obviously not going to do anything in public! Thanks for the advice, I'm seeing him tomorrow in school so if I get a chance I'll just bring up sexuality casually and see his reavction. I'm normally good at reading people. But yeah, in reply to stumble along, I know what you mean about straight guys spooning, but I'm not sure about me and B cos we'd never met before we 'slept together' (god that sounds bad doesnt it).... I just don't want to make either of us feel awkward. And I'm also not entirely sure if I'm gay or bi or whatever. I guess I should tell him I'm questioning my sexuality. I won't come out to him until we're drunk though. Couldn't do it otherwise. Besides people say what they think when they're drunk. Hopefully his guard will come down. Thanks for advice guys.
