I told my husband tonight that I didn't want to be together anymore. I've realized that I'm mosst likely a lesbian and cannot waste his life. Eversince I discovered this I have been a horrible mess. I'm currently 6.5 months pregnant with our 2nd child. No way did I think this was true. I just thought I had commitment issues with men. I have anxiety problems and people that get too emotionally close freak me out. I've never had this with a woman though. I'm pretty clueless to my feelings, I don't know if I'm attracted to women really, but I feel like I am and I'm in denial. Men have started to repulse me since I made this discovery. I used to get butterflies and giddyness around male crushes but that doesn't happen anymore. Thoughts of sex with a man are just gross now. Thoughts of sexx with a woman I don't really like, but I feel like that will change if I'm attracted to a woman. I see myself better in a relationship with a woman rather than a man. I love connected with women. I don't get that sick feeling I get when men get too close. Mind you I get this feeling for men, my parents, my daughter...people who need me. It could happen with a woman, who knows...all I know is that women make me happy to be around. And I want to find myself, I just feel so confused and horrible. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I can always go back, but if I'm right then I can finally be at peace.
The other thing to is that I really don't want this baby anymore. Realizing this has shocked me to my core. I wanted another baby so badly with my husband but now everything is down the drain. I just want to go out and find real happieness. I have to fight off urges to just take off and leave my family. My husband told me how he's been really lonely for the past few months. I haven't been able to have sex or get close to him, let alone even speak to him. I spend my days avoiding him. My therapist is trying to dig deeper as why I push people away that get too close...I don't want to deal with those feelings either...I just want to be by myself without people who expect/need stuff from me.
hmmm not sure what to say but if you know you can go back then by all means try to find your sexuality and to make sure he knows what is happening also.
I just want to tell my husband I think I'm a lesbian, I feel like I know but I'm in denial. But I still have feelings for men. If I would just stop stressing they will come back. I think I'm obsessed with the word "lesbian" and labels. Once I tell him that he will think everything has been a lie. That's one thing I cannot handle as well. He'll never take me back I'm sure. But I need to figure out my sexuality as this just isn't working. I feel so guilty about him, like I robbed him of his life. He's a very emotional person, I'm detached from people. If my daughter wants to hug me I feel I'm going to throw up...
the minute have doubt, you guys arent meant to be together. Accept that and work around it. The kids will be fine, its not like ur a criminal or anything. I'm sure he might understand. Better tell him the truth than suffer inside to sustain a lie.
I would tell him, I know you said you dont think he will handle it well, but just explain that its something you only recently discovered and that before you discovered it you loved him with all your heart. It might be better for him to know that you are a lesbian than to wonder what he has done wrong.
I didn't tell him what I thought. I told him I'm not who I thought I was and I need to figure out who I am. I don't want the other baby, I have a lot of figuring out to do. Thanks for your support.
lady you messed your life up, u messed your kids lives up, do the right thing NOW before you mess other stuff up. IF its so hard do it stop delaying it
Wow! Reading this gave me goosebumps because I know exactly how you are feeling. First thing first, stop stressing yourself out, that is not good for the baby at all! I've been where you are except I've never been married. I'm sure you're hormones are through the roof right now, and I believe you know what you truly want. It's going to be okay, just relax and believe that; however you need to separate yourself from your husband. You're obviously not happy, so stop pretending; denial is only going to slowly but surely eat away your sanity. I used to feel this way all the time, it's because you don't want to disappoint anyone, but you're the only one in control of your own destiny. Having a baby is such a beautiful thing, be careful what you say...I love my kids unconditionally, I just felt bad bringing them into such a messy situation, but everything is great. They're a lot older now; I think I was more worried about how other people would perceive me, you know? Like, hmmm you're a lesbian with kids? Yes, I am; I tried to conform and it didn't work, so stop trying! You can't force something that isn't there anymore. I feel guilty sometimes, because I feel like I ruined my kids father's life. I was honest with him in the beginning of our relationship, yet he still wanted to be a family; all the dreams he had for us will never come true. But hey, I feel the same way, I didn't ask to like women and neither did you. Therefore, you have two choices...stay and be miserable or leave him, focus on the new baby and work on yourself. You need to reach out to a support group full of lesbian mothers. That seems like your best option at the moment, unless you're ready to tell your husband how you really feel. You're not being fair to him and he deserves the truth.