I got into a discussion with a guy I recently met through a friend. We got talking on our mutual friends status on Facebook - it was all playful banter. I assumed he was gay because, well it's fairly easy to tell just based on his profile pictures and likes (music: Lady Gaga, Pink, Katy Perry etc.). He added me after the conversation and began liking a bunch of my pictures - pictures where I was the focal point making an effort appearance-wise. Anyway, we started our private conversation via Facebook messenger and somehow got onto the topic of celebrities... I was going on about how hot I thought Chris Evans was in the new Avengers movie, and then asked him who he thinks is hot and he started saying the names of really typical female celebrities (Beyonce, Cheryl Cole etc.). I was initially shocked and just said "wait, wait...You're not gay?" and he got really, really offended that I thought he was. According to our mutual friends everyone he meets always thinks it and have done since he was in his first year of Highschool. Anyway, the other day we got talking again and it was on the subject of sexuality... It was a pretty divided conversation. He thinks I'm narrow-minded, I just think he's very insecure about his sexuality...which is obviously not straight. I would love it if you guys here could read it and tell me your thoughts... Do you agree with him or me? Am I in the wrong? Does my argument make sense or am I really just being narrow-minded? You see, as much as I'd like it to be, I don't think sexuality is some broad spectrum of different colours. It's all explained in the conversation, so please do give it a read! Thanks!
I think (and based on what I've read, Kinsey etc) that some people are genuinely bi and can be attracted to same and opposite sex in varying proportions, which could be your friend's case. However it also reads like he's possibly not comfortable with the "gay label" just yet and identifying as "bi" to keep his options open. Dunno...
Narrowminded? No. I'd rather say your view to this topic is from a different point of view... or a different point of acceptance. He may be bi (or whatever, as he said he wasn't straight) or just not accept being gay. You do. Your experience is that you wouldn't be with women, he may like it.
I don't think you're narrow-minded at all, but he isn't quite either. Although, I can't help but to say that he has a similar thought process to my mother, and I nearly popped a blood vessel reading that chat log. Sexuality, for some, is not set in black in white. For some, it may be. Me, for example: I'm friggin' everywhere! I like everybody! Sex and Gender do not matter to me, and that is just the way it is. I love people. However, I know that there are many forum users here who are exclusively Homosexual or Heterosexual, and that is their thing. Nobody is really wrong, or lesser, or anything.
Him: Good, I cant stand people that are like "Yeah im gay but ive never seen/touched another guys dick". Well then you arent gay.. Me: What do you mean? People who say they're gay but have done nothing with a guy aren't really gay? Him: Yeah how do you know you like something unless you try it. Okay, this ^ is where I lose your friend's argument. I'm 100% sure I'm gay and I've never even kissed anybody, so... No, you're not being close minded; your friend needs some sexuality 101
I believe there's a spectrum. For instance, I find girls attractive and have have several girlfriends and gone quite far with them sexually. And I really felt attracted to them. But when it comes to guys, the feeling is way more powerful, overwhelming almost. At the moment I'd say I'm 65% attracted to guys, 35% girls. And putting numbers on it is of course a bit artificial but it just gives a general idea of where I'm at. Lots of straight people have a few gay experiences, so aren't 100% heterosexual. But that's just my opinion. I agree with Snowy Song as well re knowing if youre gay. You both make valid points, neither of you are narrowminded
The fact that he was deeply offended, combined with everything else likely means he isn't being authentic with himself or with you. And reading the conversation, I think he's more trying to convince *himself* that he isn't gay than convince you. My guess is he is gay, probably at some level knows this, but is desperately trying to convince himself that he's not. So... no, I don't think you're being narrow minded at all. And honestly, he isn't either... he's just scared, ashamed, and very unhappy with himself at present.
There is a really big fundamental difference between sexuality and sexual preference, he doesnt understand that. Sexuality is the way you are (as you stated) and sexual preference is what you decide to do with it all. You can be Gay and still have sex with women to try and convince yourself other wise (subconscious or otherwise). I at one time had sex with women, that doesnt make me any less gay, trust me . You are not narrow minded, it just sounds like he is going through a hard time accepting himself, and he is going rationalize thing however he needs to in order to feel safe.
Wow all I can say is that you both have very valid points, but have completely different views on things. So no you aren't narrow minded you just think differently. Great thread btw it was an interesting read
