So, I'm a female who would rather not have boobs...

I'm not sure if you're still a teenager, but I think i have read somewhere that teenage girls that are developing breasts may feel anxiety or even a desire to be rid of them because of this scary notion of "entering adulthood" as well as generally being uncomfortable with all these physical transformations.

Could this hate for boobs be traced to feeling constricted with wearing a bra? or maybe a feeling that boobs are a dead weight that makes you uncomfortable? if so, maybe changing bras or dress habits might be helpful.

But judging by the text of your post this seems to be a self-image problem. Would it be realistic to talk this through with a counselor? Because it seems to me (please forgive me if i'm wrong) that you do have some form of gender identity non-conformity. While this certainly does not mean you are trans or les, this may be a direction that you may want to explore further.

 

Hey I think I kinda understand a part of what you're going through. I have quite large boobs, and they always bothered me. I was always close to my younger brother, but then suddenly I was different, and treated differently. I guess I felt like they were tying me down. But now I wouldn't do anything to change my body. I had a period where I used to wear large shirts, and strap my breasts, but now I'm ok. I guess it was because I was insecure. Now I'm less insecure, it's got a lot better

 

it could be. Go see a Gender Identity therapist, they specialize in it, and they can help tell if you are more a tomboy or in a slightly different category.
Do you date, and i know it is personal, but...do you fantasize as a girl with a boyfriend or something else or does it also change?
anything i can do to help...ask.

---------- Post added 10th Jun 2012 at 12:04 PM ----------

i have had bad periods and better where it was not such an issue, but i always ignored them...except the few recent years i tried to fix my brain by telling myself i loved them. didn't work and think it backfired into making me go worse again. i think maybe stress or hormone levels affect it? but i was about 10 first time i pushed them flat, and always refers to it as my chest not the b word, and now i have found the meaning of transsexual and transgender i see it is tied directly to all the other things i said and did growing up, which is good and bad...i am sad so many have this issue we should not be experiencing we should all love ourself no matter what shape...and it is good as i found out i am not the only one not at all alone and there are people i can ask for help and so many options to help me...and i now know i have a name for what i have dysphoria and that does help to know i can use that word to accurately describe to others what i am going through in my mind. since then, however, even though some stress i got rid of by dropping classes, i got other stresses good ones, and my dysphoria is not gone...it never is all the way gone...and i am too contented with binding and wearing mens clothing to go back to the awful women's things...so no matter how much it dissipates after all summer stress is gone, i think i will be wearing mens underwear the rest of my life. (even if somehow i got married and tried to live for the world to think i was female, he would have to live with a boy! haha!)

 

It seems to me that perhaps you identify as female, or mostly female (this is an option, it's not all or nothing), but you may not be comfortable with traditional femininity.

How does the way you feel about your chest play out during partnered sex? If you've never had partnered sex, how do you imagine it would play out? Do you/ would you feel comfortable with a partner touching your chest? Do your feelings about your chest prevent you from pursuing partnered sex?



Regarding your gender, try this:

(Try to consider femaleness and maleness independently of each other, so that they can coexist rather than negating each other. Thus, being more female need not make you less male. Likewise with femininity and masculinity.)

For gender identity:
On a scale of 1-5, what is the most female you ever feel, where 1 is "not female at all" and 5 is "completely female"?

How often do you feel that way?
Rarely Sometimes Very Often Always

On a scale of 1-5, what is the most male you ever feel, where 1 is "not male at all" and 5 is "completely male"?

How often do you feel that way?
Rarely Sometimes Very Often Always

How often do you feel neither female nor male?
Rarely Sometimes Very Often Always

How often do you feel both female and male?


For gender expression:

On a scale of 1-5, what is the most feminine you ever feel, where 1 is "not feminine at all" and 5 is "completely feminine"?

How often do you feel that way?
Rarely Sometimes Very Often Always

On a scale of 1-5, what is the most masculine you ever feel, where 1 is "not masculine at all," and 5 is "completely masculine"?

How often do you feel that way?
Rarely Sometimes Very Often Always

How often do you feel neither feminine nor masculine?

How often do you feel both feminine and masculine?

(For all of the 1-5 scales, you can also rate the least you ever feel, or rate how often you fall on each point of the scale.)


Anyway, I guess my point is that introspection about gender doesn't have to stop at "am I a man or a woman?" it can go into a lot more detail. :icon_wink

 

hmmm...when i was a teen kinda similar to your post. i know now i am transgender, but i need to go to did therapist to know exactly where i am. i think you and me both have some issues about chest, but i bet there is more to it than tomboy. i used to call myself that, until i read more and accepted my past actions and private thoughts.

best underwear ever: Diesel. not cheep, but oh best I've found so far!

 

yes i bought a binder. it is black and comfy and i wear it everywhere under my shirts.
try library see if any books. online i bought on amazon out & about on campus, but saw many trans books. your library could have them

 

um no. not anymore than a bra or sports bra!

no kidding, i got the right size, it said in reviews comfy, and not flattened 100% so looks like pecks, it looks greg normal under shirts, and maybe too warm in muggy summers....guess i will find out.
but i have a shoulder that had trapezius musle ripped off the bone, so it doesn't feel great over my sore shoulder but 50% better than any sports bra on it...you have no injury so no pain for you, i got it loveboat.com it takes weeks to arive from China and they are built differently than USA bodies...so I got Large and in mens shirts I'm small, so there u go! abt $50 and worth every cent. but i not buy their lesbian boy underwear...i saw a sale and tried and can't get them on! Mens briefs only way to go. I will likely meet a skinny lesbian one day give em to her...oh well.

---------- Post added 10th Jun 2012 at 06:21 PM ----------

oh i don't know i guess just i know i have a purpose in life, God don't make mistakes, so I just go along for the ride. I like mysteries, so now my body and sexuality is one to solve...goody! haha!
Well, i bought a couple books, like the one i mentioned, but only opened the 1st chapter in it so far. Out & About on Campus is the writings of students who discovered themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender and how life was on public, private, and religious campus dorms. 1st chapter was a black girl who finds out she's lesbian, and i stopped because the way she discovers, how her mind was in denial and yet the signs there, it was powerful. I think it is going to be a good book, and for anybody on EC. There should be a tread created for books we read that will help others here...it would be good. I saw some I want to read specifically for trans, but too much money right now.

 

Keep in touch, let me know how it goes. and u can friend me, i won't bite much.

 

Roger? who the H#ll is Roger? My name is David!
Bahahahahaha!:roflmao:

 

I have a friend who binds her boobs. She says people always assume she wants to be a boy or something, when really she just likes the way it looks. After awhile she came out as genderqueer, feeling that she was about 60% female and 40% male.

My friend was happy when I asked if she just liked the way it looked, because most people try to label her for binding and it frustrates her that people make assumptions. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's more important that you're happy with your actions rather than feel compelled to explain them to people. Nice people will accept you for who you are.