Is it possible to just talk yourself into thinking that you're gay?

I'm always asking myself the same question, with those exact words. Do I really like girls or did I just talk myself into it? You're right, the LGBT community can be fascinating.
I'm still incredibly puzzled about my own sexuality, but I think there's a few questions we can think about.
First of all, are you attracted, or did you ever feel attracted, to girls? Sexually or romantically?
Have you ever fantasized about girls? Have you ever had a crush on a girl? Have you ever tried to kiss/go out with a girl? And with a boy?

There's nothing wrong with liking both guys and girls, you know. Take your time to figure out things, and don't overthink too much, because believe me, you'll end up believing things that are not true. Instead, try to distract your mind, go for a walk, talk to a friend.

 

If it was possible to talk yourself into being gay, it would be possible to talk yourself out of being gay and boy I've tried it!

 

Lewis has a point. I think subconciously you concidered the possibility that you weren't quite straight.

For some people, it's harder to know before you experiment around. Hope you figure it out soon though, best of luck!

 

Everyone around me is a bigoted homophobe, & here I'am, awkwardly sitting among them. I was surrounded by straight people & every so often I would doubt I was straight because that was the 'norm'. Eventually my gayness would climb above all the doubts. Tbh I don't think it's possible to doubt your gay by being around gay friends, because being straight will always be the the initial impression. You can't talk yourself into thinking your gay, it's impossible, just like not being able to talk yourself into thinking your straight, life would be easy. I'm not implying that you are gay but sometimes when you have doubts, you start finding environmental factors & reasons to your emotions. Labels are the most annoying thing ever & cause people more confusion. So just like who you like & don't stress over it. Good luck!

 

You cannot change your sexuality by telling yourself to anymore than you can tell yourself to grow faster, have green eyes or speak a new language.

 

I'm an artist too, so I definitely relate to your feelings about checking girls and guys out and not thinking anything of it. It's easy to tell yourself "Oh, I'd like to draw them" rather than "I think they're hot." But I think art and life are often related. My friend (now girlfriend) and I are cowriters, and we wrote a story about a guy realizing he was bi that really put it in to focus for me. I think it's entirely possible that you watch/read a lot of LGBT stories because you relate to those feelings. For what it's worth, I believe you like girls based on your posts that I have read. I think if you really were straight, you wouldn't be thinking about it this much.

Feel free to message me if you want. I get the feeling that we have a lot in common, and I'd love to provide any insight I can.

 

Okay this just practically smacked me in the face! I have worried that maybe I talked myself into being gay as well. I have always been extremely introspective and thought about my own thoughts. And I have always been insecure and felt not manly enough and lacking in typical male interests. To this day I don't really know that I was ever attracted to boys in a gay way until I was a teenager. In fact, I had crushes on girls. So I have repeatedly gone back to the point where I think I somehow made myself gay because I believed I fit the gay mold or because I deserve to be gay.

As surprising as it sounds, I have never thought of it in the reverse. If you could make yourself gay, why cant you make yourself un-gay??? Because you can't. You are gay/bi/straight and it is always in you. That doesn't change. Your perception and understanding of yourself can change however. The truth is the truth. What you believe about it is up to you but that doesn't change it. Does that make sense?

 

I have an itty-bitty comment to add in here Given your sheltered childhood and the predominance of gay male material over over LGBT material in the media/etc, it could well be that that material just gave you the idea (subconsciously) that it was possible to be like that (i.e. not straight), and so it opened the door to realizing that you were in fact not straight. That happened a bit with me; I was raised with a complete lack of knowledge of the entire concept of transgenderism. I just figured I was rather messed up in general until I came across an actual description of it, entirely by chance ^.=.^

 

ok Artist, I have always drawn since i could hold a big crayon! i loved to draw people, girls. girls with curly yellow hair. i drew them with pretty pink dresses and white shoes. they were sometimes just made up girls, sometimes as i grow better and older real ones like Shirly Temple and Princess Leia and Marilyn Monroe, and the guys in my high school always asked me to draw her for them! I didn't know what to major in, so figured fashion design cuz even though i didn't dress like it, i liked so much to draw fancy dresses on beautiful women. they do not look like me. i also drew male and female parts on naked men and women i drew once as a teen. i only am wondering now...is there any meaning to it other than i am good at drawing pretty faces?

 

This is sortof how my situation was
I wanted to see how good of an actor I was by pretending to be gay
I had no idea if I was still acting when I realized I might actually like them
I sortof dought this helped, though...

 

wel, even if you did talk yourself brainwash into becoming gay...which I'm gonna now get clobbered for saying...
now that you DO like gays, and enjoy being one, and are on here,
any reason to undo it?

 

This post had such an effect on me. Literally this has been my internal debate for the past year, and I feel so lost about my sexual identity. I like boys a lot, I'm pretty sure, and how could I have talked myself into that?

 

I neglected to mention this, but I really did like him

 

it is curious..and i do like to ponder a good mystery...
several of us have wondered if we thought ourselves into an alternative lifestyle, not realizing the permanent effects.

interesting.

so lets look at all the possibilities here:
1st we have maybe i saw or read something,
then thought a lot about it,
then read about, or watched movies about it,
then wondered what it would feel like to do it,
then fantasized about participating/initiating it,
then began to masturbate and watch porn and enjoyed living in the fantasy of it,
then began to wonder if i was one in shock,
then began to force myself to say it to myself that word,
then began to fear i was in denial for years,
then felt depressed and scared and alone,
then sought support/answers,
then found EC...

Another alternate possibility:
1st we see/hear about people who are weird/bad/scary and are careful to stay our distance,
then we realize one day stuff we have though and did in private/with friends is similar so we are weird/bad/scary too and we begin to feel the need to hide it,
then as we get older in our daily lives we try to fit in and watch how others act/talk so we won't be found weird/bad/scary and then hated/shunned/abused,
then we realize we continue in our minds to think weird/bad/scary thoughts cuz we like it and it scares us cuz its not "normal",
then we hear others say we are weird/different and sometimes ask if we are gay and we fiercely deny,
then one day we get brave and ask ourselves if ifff we could be wrong about being like them and really truly be different,
then our mind refuses to let us ignore that thought it forces us to dig down deep for truth it wants us to be set free from the lie cage,
then we go crazed seeking information and help online and ask lots of stupid and scary questions,
then we are scred/angry/frustrated/sexually revved up/unable to sleep/can't concentrate on other vital things/are late/miss importent things,
then we accept yes i found the truth i am happy now,
then we question again are we certain we got this correct cuz its going to change our lives forever.

ok, here we are.

I think our minds are kind, they try to protect us like a mom. It wants us to carefully weigh it all out, look at every facet, and not miss anything. If we make a mistake, it says, we will have a hard time getting it all go back right again. Our minds are just making sure we cross all the Ts and dot all the Is, before we make the big move of our life...to come fully out as us.

 

Hmmm....this is a very interesting topic, as I have tried numerous times to talk myself into being straight lol. And well, I am indeed gay...I don't believe you can be influenced into being gay unless the tendencies were always there, perhaps repressed? Are you attracted to the female body? Could you ever see yourself in an emotional/romantic relationship with a woman? For me, I have always had crushes on my friends growing up, as well as my teacher lol. When I was your age, I thought I was suppose to have everything figured out, but I was in major denial. I met a guy, and created a family; however, we're no longer together because I'm gay. Whatever you do, do not deny your feelings.

 

my mind never seems to settle on one thing x.x I'm gonna be questioning till the day I die

 

u 18, i bet u dont deny until u die..i bet u figure it all out by age 72!

read my well thought out long post above^