And I really like him and I came out to him and he said he he had a girlfriend and that was that. Or so I thought, I still can't get over him just because he didn't (and apparently cant) say he wasn't gay/ say gay. This made me to believe he is one of three things 1. He actually is and I uncomfortable with it (highly likely not) 2. Not comfortable with me/ lgbtq 3. Not used to this sort of thing I thought it was number 2 ( and secretly hoped for 1) because he wouldn't talk to me about hanging out or meeting up after that. But then suddenly he's like 'we should hang out this thursday!' And he said he was supportive when I came out and said he was proud of me, so it can't be 2? Which leaves 3 and 1. And this is my question, when I hang out him I can't help but get a little excited ( something comes up) and I basically cant gurantee to what degree ill embarrass myself doing other things. I'm a social idiot essentially. And what lovely news we have to postpone to next week and after that he goes on a mission trip to Africa. Welp, definitely not 1 then...Fml
There is also the possibility, unpleasant though it may be, that he likes you as a friend and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I may have missed this from previous posts, but what reason do you have to think that he's suppressing some same-sex emotions? The mission trip might actually be a good opportunity for you to distance yourself from him a little bit and take some time to decide what your boundaries with him can be - for example, will you be able to handle having him as just a supportive friend (a good thing to have, in any case - your L is far from F'd ), or do you need more than that at this point?
Well I know theres that option and my brain is completely ok with that, other parts of my body disagree, so i guess my brain is mostly ok with it. Yeah, the mission trip will give me some space though even now I barely see him and can't stop thinking about it. I want him as a friend and out of my head. I have tried and failed countless times to see him only as a friend but then my imagination torments me, I wake up and think what if I woke up next to him and saw his face (i can't even picture his Damned face anyway) I'm playing games in the theatre and I think what if he was here and we were just ssuddling. :bang: It's stupid and pointless and I want him the fuck out of my head, but the only way to do that is to cut ties, but I want him as a friend and if i for that then that gets messed up. He told me he doesnt even go to church and just wants to go to africa, strange but ok 'it will be interesting' no doubt. If I was there I'd probably go cuckoo for coco puffs and run into the Congo. That aside, stupid contradictory dilemma is annoying
You may barely see him now, but maybe knowing he's far away will make it easier not to think of him? Try not to indulge in fantasizing about him - if nothing else, it's pretty clear that it doesn't make you feel good. Maybe you could fantasize about an imaginary someone else? It may sound weird but I've done it occasionally to help keep myself from thinking about someone else. It can be surprisingly effective - Imaginary Boyfriend is, after all, pretty perfect.
I mean I try really hard not have any feelings for anyone and if I do think about the perfect guy its always him and if I think about the perfect girl its someone imaginary but they are really similar to another friend of mine (who I'm almost over with) It doesnt happen all the time but when it does it hurts a lot, I have no way to make it go away except to hopefully have something else grab my attention and i can start to shut people out again
