To come out or not to come out, that is the question

Hey Snyder,

You may not want to wait that long, however it is probably a good idea to get to know the environment of your high school before you come out.

It is good that you are ready to come out yourself, however you might or might not be surprised at how much attention a freshman in high school will get for coming out of the closet. I came out as a junior and it got around quickly as I knew it would, but not as quickly as a freshman who came out of the closet around the same time. Many freshman have yet to be around anybody who is openly gay, so it is a much bigger deal to them.

If you feel impatient, maybe you can tell some other friends in the mean time?

Hope that helped some...

 

Hey Snyder,
First of all, it's super awesome/brave of you that you want to come out your first year of high school (I'll be a sophomore next year, so I'm a year older than you ). I ended up coming out to my school towards the end of the year. Coming out at high school can be kind of scary, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Some of my friends were really supportive, and others...ermm...not so much. So, you find out who your real friends are (the one's who swear to beat up anyone who says a word about you behind your back), and the one's who you'd rather not associate with.

I think I'd recommend scoping out the scene a bit before you start coming out. It's good to have a group of friends whom you can fall back on incase things get crazy. I think I'd recommend telling your friends before you sort of coming out publicly/openly to everyone, if that makes sense. It can be stressful to have to deal with your friend's reactions at the same time as dealing with 'public opinion' ->as in, the opinion of the gossip chain.

Another thing I would advise is getting to know some kids (probably in older grades) who have come out. I'm not sure what your high school is like, but if there are kids who are out, I'm sure they will be happy to take you under their wing. They can point you to the supportive teachers, the cool allies, the guidance counselors who actually get it, etc. And, it's also nice to have awesome friends.

If I were to go back one year ago and talk to my self as I was preparing to enter high school, I would still encourage myself to come out. However, it can get incredibly stressful at school, so know that it's not going to be a breeze. Just remember, keep your chin up no matter what people say. You're doing the right thing. And reach out to people who can help you along the way. It helps to have people looking out for you.

Post on my wall/message me anytime if you want to chat/have questions. Good luck!! :icon_wink

(*hug*)

 

if you have a few close friends that you know would be ok with it then i would think about coming out to them, it you havent already. other then that, i think waiting a semester is a good idea. you dont want to be just "that gay kid" to everyone before you have a base of people who know you for who you are and can be there if things get ugly. remember that being gay is only part of who you are, and nobody knows everything about a person when they first meet them. if you're not out yet, its easier to see who would be a good friend and understand, and who would reject you just because of your sexuality, since attacks aren't as personal.

when i came out to my family and rugby team, i already knew who on the team i could still count on to support me, and who might have a harder time. not being surprised by the backlash and having support from the get go made it easier to process and my end reaction was actually happy surprise at the people who i though would hate on me and instead were really understanding. dont worry if you accidentally out yourself though, things happen for a reason and they would have found out eventually anyway.