I've made goals in coming out to my family. At first it was the start of my senior year in high school. That didn't work because my mom got into a rant about the LGBT community expecting too much from society. I got scared and burrowed further into the closet. Then my next goal was on my 18th birthday or around it. I didn't tell her yet again.My anxiety was really bad at that time. My final goal was a few days before graduation. I went out into the living room before school and they were talking about how Washington is putting off Marriage rights for gays on the news. She doesn't believe they should have the right to get married and that started a big fight between us. So yet again, I chickened out. Now I'm going to be moving out and starting my life in a few months and I really do want to tell them that I'm gay but I don't know the best way. We never do all get togetherat the same time. We all aren't that close in traditional family ways. We don'teat together. We all hide out in our rooms apart from my step-dad who always has a headset on for COD. My question is what is a good way to come out without making it a big deal? I get panic attacks when I think about it.
Hello Kiga! I was feeling similar to you in that I had set goals about when I was going to come out. And when those goals crept closer and closer I would get more nervous and more freaked out and anxious. I received some advice from a very close family friend whos been out for decades. He told me there is no right way or good way. There is no perfect time. When it feels right, it feels right. I took that to heart and the anxiety faded. Then one day I visited my family out of state and it just felt RIGHT. It seems your family has some strong views and are unafraid to express them. I can see how that would be intimidating. Would you have a problem telling one person separately to test the waters? Thats what I did. Late at night I told my brother first and lo and behold, my whole family has been expecting it for years. (Im really not effeminate or anything. Haha, so this was a shock.) Is there one person in your family who may be a bit more on the open-minded side that you could tell first?
