I am genderqueer, and am really going through some issues that i never expected. I have been looking to find others to talk to who i can relate to, just for support, etc, and found there are very few resources. Please help. I could really use a supportive, non-judgemental ear.
Just a transgender? Why "just"? Sorry, read that and i sort of giggled a little. I will message you if that's okay. I'd appreciate just even having someone to talk to. Been going through a rough patch, to be perfectly honest. ---------- Post added 15th Jun 2012 at 04:19 PM ---------- or maybe i won't message you since i can't apparently. lol
I might be able to help you. I consider myself pangender because most of the time I feel like I am in between male and female. I also have days where I feel completely male as well. My female days are not as often any more, but I still have them.
@thecat06 Thank you so much. Only problem is, i don't know how comfortable i am talking about some of this on a public forum
Greetings; I'm genderqueer as well. I'm always open to talking about any issues, so feel free to message me anytime you like. I'm a full member, so you'll be able to.
You won't be able to message other members until you are a full member also. Both people have to be full members. You can send a PM to any member of the staff, however. You can find links to message them here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/13273-individual-support.html I'm not sure who you should talk to about genderqueer issues specifically, but all the staff are really nice.
you can go post on the anonymous part of EC, but you're safe to talk freely on this thread, but I can understand your discomfort. I agree with Ianthe, in that the staff is quite nice and willing to talk about any topic. It lists them somewhere (I think in your welcome message - check your inbox) and will tell you what they "specialize" in as far as topics and advice. I think that most everyone on EC is a non-judgemental ear because it is closely monitored so it can be a "safe space" for all. I feel I am androgynous, which is basically like genderqueer, although I'm new to this whole "labeling" thing and could be completely wrong
Okay, well, I'll go against my instincts and post here, its the best i can do for now. I "came out" as genderqueer about a year ago. My SO and I have been dating for just over two years. We have been having issues, mainly due to her still not fully adjusting. She's expressed that she loves me, but is not sure how to approach certain things. I'm still the same person I was when we met, just identify differently. Its putting a lot of strain on the relationship, and it hurts. We both love each other greatly, but i fear the relationship may be ending.
Sometimes if you have to work too hard at keeping something then it needs to be let go. You can only do so much to make things work and sometimes the things you have to let go, be it a relationship or something material, may come back and be better the second time around. Simple story but could help make my point if you're confused -- I have a friend who decided to donate his guitar to a friend that was in desperate need of any musical instrument for worship hour and in doing so, years later he was given a guitar that was the same make/model/colour of the one he had donated. He loved the second one even more than the first because it meant more and was special in how it came about to be in his posession. Work at the issues she feels are present, but don't exasperate it or her. If you're pushing when she's not ready, she will back away and finally be gone from you. Be smart and keep true to yourself while keeping her feelings and concerns in mind trying to compromise where it benefits both involved. Respect her concerns as you want her to respect your decisions. I hope you find help/good advice on EC.
@martee thank you so much. I feel that its pretty much inevitable that the relationship will end, which hurts, but in the end i don't think she's happy in the relationship anymore, and i truly want he to be happy, no matter the outcome.
If you feel already at this point that your current relationship will end, then start taking your heart out of it as much as possible. That way if/when the "break" does happen, it will hurt less. It will still hurt because you gave this girl your love, but it will be less seering and possibly take a shorter time to heal. This may seem to you like an arduous task and quite impossible, but it can be done although you may have a small place in your heart for her. That feeling will wane in intensity until one day it is just a positive memory. And I don't know how you are in always needing a gf/bf or not needing one, but being single (no matter what anybody has told you) is pretty awesome. Lonely...at times, yeah sure, especially when it seems like everyone else has a significant other or spouse. Overall it is enjoyable just being yourself and filling that relationship void (if you have one) with more awesome friends and activities that you love to do. Nobody ever said I should be giving advice, but it's free to take if it helps
@Martee-Just got a text from her. She asked if we could maybe go see a counselor. Not sure if thats a good thing or not, but I think its worth a try.
