Helo, Iam a Bi who is not out to anyone yet. A year ago i have shifted to my clg. there i met a person who for 1st few months behave like anyone else but later he started doing strange things with me. initially he started putting his arms aroound my waist, touching my chest in a friendly way. i liked it so i did not backed off instead replied in same manner. then we became friends and he started cuddling, hugging for trivial reasons and stared me a lot. when in class he would again and again look where i am sitting, when i am standing with my friends he would stare me. some day he would behave as if he is my best friend, we would stand so close to each other that our bodies would touch each other and he would find a reason to hold my hand and on the other day we both will ignore each other. he would also pretend that he didn't see me by looking away even though i catch him starring at me. all these made me fall in love with him, once he told me he has a girl friend in his home town and he loves her so much. that day he kept asking me whyi dont have any Girlfriend. he continued his cuddling, hugging, hot and cold behavior with me so i thot maybe he is a bi. his hot and cold behavior made me confused and gave me lots of anxiety.i was so confused whether he is homsexua or not. to end all this i finally decided to ask him out. to my surprise he said that he is not ready for this relationship.i asked whther he likes boys or not and he said he never thought about it. i was so devasted that i again asked him next day and he said that he is straight and it is impossible for him to love me. i lost hope then and tried to give up on him. it was difficult for me to see him everyday and talk to him and so i decided to ignore him. I ignored him so badly that i even ignored looking in his direction though he would still stare at me but soon he too started ignoring me badly. now we both ignore each other but i still sometimes find himstarring at me in the class tho he try really very hard to pretend he didnt see me. lately he has started giving me cold looks when our eyes do meet. He is the only one in the whole world who knows my secret and has promised he wont tell to anyone. my question is why is he ignoring me so badly?? i am ignoring him because i want to get over him but he should feel like king that i asked him out and feel pity on me instead of giving me cold look and ignoring me. why he behaves as if he hates me now. its been months and i am still not able to forget him. i see him everyday and all the feelings come back. how do i get over him?? what should be my next step. Its difficult to live with this pain. :help:
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! He is ignoring you because you were ignoring him first and his feelings were hurt, even though he probably understands why. If you want to reduce the hard feelings, you could tell him you are sorry for ignoring him, but you just need to have more distance to deal with your emotions. Take responsibility for it--he didn't really do anything wrong, after all. But since you just started ignoring him without explaining why, it seems to have really hurt him--I mean, you were probably his best friend, or at least a very close one, right? I don't know whether he is really straight or if he is just deeply closeted and in denial, but either way, he isn't ready for a relationship with you. So, try to let go of the idea that that is possible. Is there an LGBT group at your school? They may have support services available. It would be good for you if you could meet some new people. It would also make a big difference in your life if there was even one person you could come out to. Not someone you are going to try and go out with, but a friend you can talk to openly about your life. Is there anyone in your life that you can trust to be accepting? Often, an opposite-sex friend is the easiest to start with. Is there a girl you know who has expressed support for LGBT people? If you could get over your crush, he could be a very good friend to you--from what you say, even though he didn't reciprocate your feelings, he was pretty accepting. It's really too bad that you can't get past your romantic feelings so that he could support you as a friend. But I understand that right now, it's too painful for you for that to be possible.
The guys either closeted or a weirdo. Why should his actions reflect anything better. Go play games, draw watever, better than contemplating things about him
you need to stop holding the crush thing against him, whats done is done, if he is gay bi what ever, hes dugg his own grave so let him sleep it in you need to show a feeling of indifference, i think it was a mistake ignoring him tbh, you may have waged an unintentional war, an uncomfortable one im guessing too, just act normal, when hes in the room, just continuing doing what ever as if hes just another stranger in the crowd, i think you let his presence effect you too much you need to stop imagining what if also, its easier said than done, but over time it gets easier, just dont let it take up most of your time, there's probably better things to do than be angry at him or hate him for playing with your feelings, im pretty sure you're worth more than what ever hes offering anyways.
we never became close friends. he was always with him group and i with mine but whenevr we meet we woulld cuddle and hug a lot. i know that i should apologise to him but i can't. i am afraid of his reaction.. he looks so angry on me these days. his eyes searches fr me when i am not looking at him but on other occasions he ignores me completely an dnow i can see a bit of anger for me on his looks eventhough we never were close friends... i am just not in position to talk to him now but i will surely stop ignoring him slowly..maybe he will also start behaving normal with me
If you're afraid of his reaction, you could always apologize through a text or a private message on Facebook. If his reaction is bad, then you can just keep ignoring him. If it's a positive reaction, then great, you will be able to talk to him again.
OK..i haven't said sorry to him but stopped ignoring him to some extent. but now he seems so isolated. i dont find him with his friend group from last couple of days..he used to be very social and talkative but now he is isolating himself. he looks sad and quiet. i really feel bad. what should i do?? whats goin on in his life??
He might just be feeling very confused about everything. Maybe the situation with you is making him question things about himself. Try talking to him? Maybe you'll be able to help him through this.
