Am I over exagerating this?

I don't know your parents so I don't know if you are overdramatizing the situation. What I will say though is that as a 14 year old you have rights and I'm not sure that they can just through you out of the house, they have a moral and legal duty to house, feed and clothe you, unless they are unfit to do so until you are 18.

Out of fairness to your parents if you are going to start coming out one of them, the more tolerant of the two preferably, should be your first choice because, as you said word spreads quickly in a small community and imagine the slap in the face it will be to your parents if they find out from the neighbour across the road!

Coming out to one of your parents before friends and neighbours is a mark of respect, love and maturity on your part. However don't rush into anything, think things through carefully and have a 'plan of action'

You could start by talking in a general way about homosexuality with the chosen parent and even bend the truth a bit and talk about a boy in your class who is gay and wants to tell his parents, etc. and see what kind of reaction you get. Even if you get a negative reaction you will need to keep coming back to this subject regularly. You could down load some resources from here or Pflag which has loads and ask your chosen parent if he/she thinks that if this boy's parents were to read this info it would help them to understand.

Quite a few people here have come out to their parents with a letter, this seems to work quite well for some of them.

Whatever you decide, good luck

 

From the sound of it, I don't think you are over exaggerating it. Louise put it better than I ever could. However, I do have one thing to add. Do you have a best friend who you can come out to first? One who will accept you and keep it a secret? In my experience, it helps to "practice" on people you know won't judge you for it.

 

hey Brett, it's ok to be scared, and you are only 14, you were like me 2 years ago. Maybe it's not that really scary when you grow older.

Now, what you can do is to keep teh secret to yourself, cuz Im sure you are not ready to come out yet. A young guy like you will meet lots of stress. And your parents will say taht they dont believe because you are young and they'll thinmk it's just a phrase.

You have a life long ahead so you will have lots of chances to come out, now what you do is to prepare till that time

It's a scary place I knoiw, but you could move soemwhere lese if you think where you live do you no good, lost of peopel do that, once they are odl enouigh an dbe able to stan don their own.

So now, dont worry about coming out, if you can , Im rerally glad and you be proud, but there'll be lots and lots of outcome,s you have to expect each one of them

 

Brett, I think that people do tend to overexagerate the reactions of people they love. When it happens in your family it tends to change hearts and minds. There may be some rough patches along the way but a family that loves eachother will get through them.

 

I'd like to believe that parents will love and support their kids, no matter what. This isn't always the case though, so I can't say in your situation what the long term implications might be of coming out.

You need to come out when you feel ready. Telling your parents, even when you're 99.9% sure that they'll be supportive, is still a difficult thing to do! Trust me there!

Good luck.

 

I know your a parent Louise and that is why you should know more then anyone not all parents are as tolerant as others to say that it would be disrespectful to your parents to tell someone before them is ridiculous in my opinion they may be upset you didnt trust them to tell them first, but alot of people need help and in person help from a friend or other close family....my mother was the second person i came out to and she accepted it all very well but i would not have changed anything of the way i came out and i don't think telling my friend before her was disrespectful..........he should tell someone he trusts in my opinion and who can help him calm down and react to his parents after he comes out

 

At no point did I say it was disrespectfull to tell other people before your parents, I said it was a mark of respect to tell your parents before telling friends and neighbours (I had in mind more casual friends and aquaintances than close confidents). Telling your parents is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do and WHEN you do it is out of love and respect for them because you don't want them to be the last to know. However that doesn't meant that they should necessarily be the first people either, I think this is something that needs to be worked up to.

Brett mentioned that he lived in a small closed community and that he didn't want his parents to find out second hand before he was ready. A close friend/confident will not go gossiping about you behind your back and this is what was worrying Brett.

I didn't intend for my comment to be interpreted in that manner and I apologise if it was, I should have made myself clearer.

 

I'm sorry if i took your words out of context Louise *Hugs All Around*