So first off, I don't think I've always been uncomfortable as a girl. It only started when I began puberty. But ever since then, I've hated my breasts and wanted them to just go away. Now that I'm older, I realize that I think I want to be a guy. I envy guys, how they sound, how they walk, everything. I want my voice to be deep and I want to wear all guys clothing (I already wear guys shirts). I don't want to have breasts, I think I'll have surgery for that when I'm older. And I want a guy's name. But the thing is I have both girly and guyish moments. Like sometimes I want to be pretty, but others I just want to be a total guy. Is this maybe just because I want to fit in with other stereotypical girls or because just a girl at heart? Can there be an in-between gender? I mean, I want to be called a guy, and I don't really want to be a girl, but sometimes when I have those girly moments I second-guess myself. I'm so confused..
You could be genderfluid. That'd be a good one to go by, because you can have your guyish moments and girlish moments without having to explain to anyone (not that you owe anyone an explanation anyways). Good luck x
This started at puberty so maybe all the changes of your body frightened you? Or it started changing the way people treated you? Just a thought... It sounds to me that somewhere in your psyche you still like being a girl, but are not totally convinced you're comfortable with how a female's body appears. Girly moments are fun and you are allowed to have them...don't let those moments confuse you or thing I watn to be a guy so anythign girly is wrong and shouldn't be in my brain. Not at all. I have "girly moments" and it's just me being a little more feminine than usual. Maybe the next day I'm out fixing something or have my hands in the dirt for a more masculine day. Don't confuse female/male with feminine/masculine. There is a big difference. It's not that you're female so you can do and wear only female things. Vice versa for males. It's not "all or nothing" Sometimes things are intertwined (such as feminism/masculanism) to make us who we are and how we are going to carry on outside our door. Gender/Sex doesn't us...it's our words, actions, and personality that will do that. ---------- Just be yourself and be okay with that... I'm like you in that I also have an aversion to having a chest. I want a flat chest and I dress rather androgynous mostly wearing guys stuff including their trunk underwear (let's face it MOST female underwear is not made with comfort in mind). I wear whatever I feel comfortable in and that looks good on me...no matter if it be labeled female of male. If you want to wear a guy's clothes, do it. If you want to walk and talk like a guy, do it. If you like your girly moments, that's okay too. I'd be very sure about where you are at mentally with being female or male before you get top surgery. You would first need to go to a therapist and they would determine if you are a suitable applicant for the surgery. Don't let something confuse you so much that you're constantly doubting who/what you are...I think humans can get too wrapped up in labeling ourselves. Sometimes there just isn't a label. Just be you ---------- I'm with him...nobody needs an explination. They may want one but it is not required that you supply them with one. Just my ramblings...hope it helps
