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i may be in trouble...i think i have a crush on a girl

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Deaf Not Blind, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    oh i once um while masurbating several months ago, before knowing about being trans, thought about my friend S. she is beautiful, thin, smiling all the time, it was after her bf broke up with her and i console her by talking to her a long time.

    she just said stuff, i felt it move, i kinda flirted with her, i can't help it, i want to...im turned on! but idk, she is my friend, and what if i make a move and she hates me cuz she's straight?

    here is the thing, a lot of us deafies after a comedy night went out to eat. her bro told me how he knows peeps and her ex is a jerk (he seemed cool to me, but he dumped her by stopping all communication like a coward). then he said something strange...remmy I'm playing female, but I'm having a good time so i may have let out a little boyish hint, he said he'd have noi problem if i wanted to date his sister he respects me.
    :confused:

    what if she's bisexual, or said she found me attractive??

    I'm really curious, omg, i really having a weird feeling.

    i keeping fb pm her little hints, I'm flirting.

    i said: If I were on a date I guess I would dress up to go too, but otherwise Im not getting dressed up for no restaurant. I'm just gonna spill stuff on it!

    she said:your baddddd. :slight_smile: its like girl date out hahaha
    then added: wait... girls night out... yes its a date

    :eek:

    i know its a joke...ok, a joke, right...but omg my parts moved and I'm wanting so much to tell her i want to ask her out!!

    oh God!

    my breathe is funny.

    how can i find out ...if she is feeling i like her or she maybe want me to flirt?

    oh i want to know!
     
  2. Ianthe

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    My best advice in these situations is to come out to her. I know you don't feel ready for that, though.

    I mean, if you were going to start a relationship with her, she would really have to know, you know?

    I think it's really unlikely that she would hate you. She might say no, and it would be awkward, but unless she's really homophobic or transphobic (and most people who are one are both), she won't hate you.

    Do you trust her?
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

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    She is not at all homophobic, but her brother is just a bit, he hated this ultra femme hitting on him. Almost punched the guy. But I helped diffuse it. And he is the one who kinda gave us his blessing, which was weird.

    I do trust her. I would also if I were to find out she is interested tell her I am a man inside and what happened to me this 6 months. I would NEVER hide this from any girl I love who loves me, she has a right to use all info about me to see if I am attractive to her...and I tell you if I did start to date a girl I would likely feel more need to transition, so we could be a straight couple.

    And I found her pleasant company. Actually her ex bf and her really made a cute couple, I was happy for her. I would never have taken or even thought about her then. But after he rudely rejected her, I really wanted to make her feel better and move on. If she had told her brother something like she likes me and that is why he said it, this is great. If he is just that good at reading people, wow! And I like him too, great Irish funny family. I could really like to hang out with them both as friends.

    Why do I suddenly see a possible future of me being a groom...that is weird...
     
  4. Ianthe

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    Many men are only homophobic toward gay and bisexual men, and have no problems with lesbians.

    Also, he may have felt the need to tell you he was cool with what he probably perceives as your lesbianism, because you have seem act homophobic.

    And the specific situation where he's actually being hit on by a guy is often particularly uncomfortable for straight guys. But I'm actually surprised it even happened. Most gay guys won't overtly start hitting on straight men, at least in my experience.

    (It's unfair that they shouldn't be able to though. I mean really, if you aren't interested, just say no thanks...)
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    Actually, his actions were AFTER he said at the table to me very sincerely looking in my eyes that he thinks it would be fine and he would totally be okay if i were to date his sister no problem...he went on a few sentences and i do not remmy word for word now. But it was something i had wondered why he said that.

    He has been hit on by many gays i was told, they all think he is cute and hope he is gay. when he told this deaf gay man no, the man did not accept it...he kept touching him. i think it was not just flirt, i think he was teasing too as he was so funny acting in saying no...honestly i might have too, it was cute!

    one thing the 3 of us agreed later on, if a man or woman says NO! it means no, accept it and do not sexually harrrass. That means if a gay man hits on a GAY man, and he says no, it means do not keep touching and touching me.
     
  6. Ianthe

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    Yes, no means no, always.

    If he got mad only when the guy kept bothering him, after he said no, I don't think that's homophobic, necessarily.

    He must "seem gay" in some way to guys if he gets hit on a lot.
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    Yeah, evidently they at least HOPE he is, and if he is and does not wish to live gay life they still should accept a no.
    He makes it clear.
    But again...he does get cute when he says no, and that just sometimes makes silly people want to tease more than hit on...but it must make it very akward if it happens a lot.

    Idk I would say homophobic as much as he not want any gay men to hit on him and since they do he really reacts a lot.

    ---------- Post added 15th Jun 2012 at 11:09 PM ----------

    SHE IS JUST NOW POSTED SHE IS GOING TO THE BALL GAME TOMORROW!!!
    :grin:

    OH, if God wills....pllleeeaaassse!
     
  8. Ianthe

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    You think he's gay but closeted? Or that he might be? I didn't mean that he's gay, only that they gay guys think he is.

    Gay guys hope lots of guys are gay, but they don't typically hit on them unless they think they are. So, my guess is he either fits some gay stereotypes (such as being unusually feminine, for a man) or he trips their gaydar (which is not quite the same thing).

    Whatever, though--they should take no for an answer, but he should be nice about it.

    Good luck with the girl!
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    He is not at all feminine. Not in dress, how he moves, at all. He is quite nicely male. He just is cute and I think many people would like to have him as a bf.

    THAT GIRL...I had talked about other sports I like to play and we got on hockey. I said: "i play good sportsmanship. i am a good winner. i just brag a little not never put them down the other team thought as they had all men they would win? and then after i got them in the corner a couple times we just forgot all that garbage and went at it. i never get a goal but get close. "
    she said: "I'd love to watch you playing."

    O.O
    oh wow. my breathing got really weird.

    Then she added:
    "You can heck out Lloyd center or mountain view ice funking"
    :confused:

    I said;" funking//"

    She said: "Pfft! I tried out at Gallaudet and I didnt like it"

    I said back: "you tried funkin?"

    She said: "Curling at Lloyd center. Lol no auto correction"

    I just had to keep teasing now! "curling and Funking, which is harder and faster?"

    And that got a:
    Omg
    ^V^

    She is funny girl. and nice to be around, and all the men would be jealous if I get her.

    I hope she is not just teasing me, I hope she really has something for me. I would treat her right, and not make the same mistake I saw her ex make. She really hoped he was a keeper. She had not dated in a very long time.

    Well, fingers crossed.
     
    #9 Deaf Not Blind, Jun 16, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2012