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Should have I opened my mouth?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jessica816, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. Jessica816

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    So tonight at work I was helping a guy with a problem, and he caught a glimpse of my pride tattoo and it went down hill from there. For about an hour or so he preached to me how wrong it is to be gay and that im going to hell. You know the normal crap most of us here most of the time, you know God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. I was so angry and my blood was boiling at this point I finished up with him and went to my lunch hour. I was just so angry and not just at him and his ignorant ways, but at myself also. Ive never been one to let someone run off at the mouth but I was at work and well I cant lose my job so I just sat there and took it. I feel like such and idiot because I let it happen and let it go on. Yet what could I have done? I was the bigger person and didnt stoop to his level no I walked away. Yet I feel so stupid and it honestly ruined my night, Aghh has anyone else had this happen to them? Its my job and im there to do my job but my personal life should never be brought into the conversation. ​
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    (hugs)

    Im a Christian and read this 1st for a reason. He don't know what he's saying...imagine a sweet little kid telling you that because you dont have a fireplace Santa can't bring you any presents.

    Try to forgive him after you calm down. Then talk with a boss kindly not with anger about speaking with him, that it made your day miserable and you know he meant well...but it was not the thing to do.
     
  3. ilayis

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    I would talk to your boss before your co-worker starts talking badly bout you to your other co-workers and things get worse.If he brought it up then you can't get into trouble for it.
     
  4. bob94

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    I think you did the right thing by walking away. The only thing I would have done differently would be to tell him that God also tells us not to judge others, and that Jesus said absolutely NOTHING about gay people.

    Nice to see somebody else from MO, btw :slight_smile:
     
  5. Ianthe

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    This was a customer, or a co-worker?

    Either way, when someone is doing that, you can tell them that you feel it's inappropriate. "I'm sorry, but I don't think my private life is any of your business. Can I help you with anything related to my work here?"

    You should also check out your employer's harassment policy. Even though your state doesn't have laws that specifically protect you from harassment based on your sexual orientation, your employer may have policies that protect you.

    Certainly, you might want to have a talk with your boss about the incident, and ask how they would like you to handle it in the future. Make sure they know that it made you very uncomfortable.
     
  6. Jessica816

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    It was a customer I was helping that said all this to me tonight. It just frustrated me to the max.
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    ohhh! I am so sorry!

    There is so little an employee feels they can do when some customer talks weird and rude to you.

    You did WELL!:eusa_clap

    I mean it...I would not have been so nice when in past a customer was rude to me, and I got in trouble a lot.

    Try to get a different kind of job someday in the future. I will never work retail again.
    Again, I love you just as you are, and God does too.
     
  8. Jessica816

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    Yay! Your the first person I've seen here from Mo!
     
  9. KiddlesP

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    Perhaps you could have tried to preach to him and be a mirror to him. Judge ye lest ye be judged. We are all born, in the Christian perspective, with original sin, and we must always repent, for we sin without thinking about it, and only through the acceptance of Jesus could you go to heaven, who forgivers all sins, including homosexuality, unconditionally. At least that is what they say.
     
  10. Ianthe

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    Definitely talk to your employers or supervisors about how they would like you to handle it in the future. Tell them that it was very difficult for you not to say anything, and that you would like to know if it's okay for you to tell a customer that it isn't appropriate to comment on your personal life. "It doesn't seem right that I should have to spend an hour having someone telling me I'm going to hell. I really don't think I should have to tolerate that without saying anything. Is there something we can do so that I can feel safe from that kind of attack? I really didn't know what to do or how to handle it."

    People are terrible to customer service workers. They know you can't really say anything, and they take full advantage.

    But they know you are gay at work, and it didn't stop them from hiring you. So, you can probably at least ask them to protect you from harassment. Just because they don't have to by law, that doesn't necessarily mean that they won't.

    You also want to report it to your employer so that they have a record of what happened, just in case the crazy guy comes back, acting even more crazy.
     
  11. Jessica816

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    Normally I'm able to just brush it off and move on yet this time it really struck a chord with me. I feel stupid because I kept my mouth shut because for one I didn't want to get into trouble because I ran my mouth and for two because I'm in line for a possible promotion. One of my bosses actually walked up towards the end and I told her I needed to walk away and she kinda just looked at me. Then again she's the same person that was worried when I got flowers from another female co worker. Idk it all just kinda through me for a loop. I wonder if this kind of crap will stop bothering me one day.
     
  12. Ianthe

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    Talk to a different one of your bosses.
     
  13. Lewis

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    Ugh. I remember when my best friend said that about Adam and Steve and he's not even religious...I'm not religious either, but I have a logical explanation to why a male and female were initially created, essentially to reproduce. Steve came a long later! :slight_smile:

    You shouldn't have to put up with such behavior withing the workplace, at all. Report him to one of your managers like Ianthe said. It's completely inappropriate to your job to mention your sexuality or God.
     
  14. dano22

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    This is a awkward experience especially when it happens at work and you always have to be professional at work no matter what. I probably would of done the same thing don't argue or fight back just ignore it and be the bigger person. I would do that in any situation just ignore it and be the bigger person. I always keep my personal life separate from work especially since I work in a nursing home and coming out would not be something I would do but I would be open to it depending on the situation.