Hello, I'm having some trouble. I have pretty bad social anxiety, I've basically been a complete shut in with no real life friends for about 6+ years(for the record I'm 24). While trying to think my way through this and figure out why I'm so anxious, one thing I realized is that I want to look different. Which is probably pretty normal, but I realized that I wanted to look like a girl. I don't actually want to be a girl, I would never get sex reassignment surgery. I want to look androgynous and be able to wear girl clothes and have cute hairstyles. I wouldn't want to wear dresses or have obviously female long hair though, because I want to be androgynous. I kind of feel like this is just my own unrealistic vanity, and I'm not even sure if it's possible. But at some point I started thinking about looking this way and now the thought of just being a dude is awful. It's not that bad currently, as I'm not very manly looking, but as I get older I'm scared I'll look more like a guy. The thought of it is kind of terrifying actually. I'm not really that uncomfortable with feeling this way. Despite that I don't want to tell my parents or ask them for help or anything like that. I have a very weird relationship with my parents or more like no relationship. I've never shared anything personal with them, and they've never really asked me how I felt or wanted to talk or anything. I don't want to deal with them or form a close relationship, I just want to leave. Obviously the problem here is that I have no job, money, friends, or even any idea about hrt or any of this stuff, and no one to talk to about it. Plus this thing inside my brain trying to stop me from getting any of these things. On the bright side, I think I'm kind of a girly, young looking skinny guy to begin with, so I don't feel like all hope is lost or anything. But I do feel like it's slowly draining away, so that kind of stinks. If anyone knows a good way to remove facial hair so it's not noticeable at all that would be helpful, because no matter how I shave there's still stubble and it makes me feel disgusting.
I'll answer your final question before I give my opinion on the matter. You can get laser hair removal which will destroy the hair follicles and permanently remove the hairs. Okay! I personally don't think you need to question this too much, I think you should just go with what your body is telling you and if you want to dress up a little, go for it. Girls wear guys clothes all the time! As for cute hair styles, you have hair, so get making it cute! Sometimes as human beings we tend to question things and put ourselves in boxes. You should just go with it, dress how you wish to dress, hair your hair how you wish to wear it and just be you! I wish you all of the best and hope everything works out!
You sound either gender fluid or just in between. You can be no gender, that's fine. Being transgender doesn't mean surgery. If you want to look androgynous shave your face, you can wear clothes that both men and women wear, and just be yourself. You can buy women's clothes too, just be mindful that most of them are made for girls with breasts. Most important part of this is just be your damned self. There's nothing saying you have to be stuck with a label. To me, the only reason you'd want one is to know how other people dealt with your position instead of learning it from scratch. If it doesn't hurt anyone, and makes you happy, then do it. As for hair removal, shaving obviously, waxing is another. Laser hair removal and electrolysis are expensive so the first two would prob be your best bet.
I get the whole be yourself thing, I'm not uncomfortable with it. In fact I don't like labels and didn't label myself for that reason. I'm even annoyed with you calling me gender fluid, like I should/can be fit into something. I've never had a problem with any LGBT stuff, because I didn't see any reason to. So I'm not struggling with accepting myself or anything, my problems are how and what can I do to accomplish this, especially with my limits. I feel unattractive looking like a guy, and as I get older I will just look more like one. I can't just put on girls clothes, that'll just make me a guy in girls clothes. If it was that easy to look like a girl I wouldn't be here, forcing myself to ask for help because I'm terrified of not being able to look the way I want. I'm sure you're being genuine, but when I reach out for help and talk openly about myself and you give non-solutions and give me attitude about things I didn't say or imply, it doesn't feel very good to say the least. I'm assuming this place isn't supposed to be all flamewar-y, so I'm just pointing out how I felt and keeping it civil.
If you're looking for sympathy from me you won't get it. There are other people here that will give it to you but that person isn't me. A guy in girl's clothes, you know what? I'm a girl in girl's clothes. Know why? It's not because I have a penis. It's not because I have to shave my face every day. It's because I am a girl. Wearing girl's clothing. My 'package' doesn't make a difference. You being born male does not force you to wear men's clothing. You don't like how you look? So change it. I'm glad you aren't struggling with being LGBT. So that begs the question, why are you here? I do not understand people. Wanting to wear different clothes doesn't make you a transsexual. Why talk about changing your body if you don't even know why? It's not a "dude in a dress" it's a person in clothing. You're not as lost as you think you are. Just think of them as clothes, you don't like your body so change it. Shave, find some makeup, make yourself look how you want. None of these things makes you a girl so don't get so defensive about it. The reason you get no sympathy from me is because I'm nearly positive that you're the type of person that would refer to me as a guy in girl's clothes.
You won't get any sympathy from me either, this isn't the "fugs feel good thread all about fugs", it's a thread where I'm kindly asking for help on how to change myself to look more like a girl. Me saying I'D be a boy in girls clothes doesn't have anything to do with you, it's my opinion about me. Maybe I could get a good shave and some other stuff done, and I'd feel better about how I look and feel differently. How should I know? People don't come here looking for advice because they're experts on this stuff. It still wouldn't have anything to do with you though, I don't think of you as anything, I don't know you, and I don't think I'd like to either. I don't really get what your issue is, but it sounds like its with yourself and not with me. I'd suggest sorting through your own insecurities instead of dragging other people down when they're asking for help.
Just another idiot. Look dude, I told you what you have to do. Wear the clothes you like. What is the big deal here? Get over yourself.
I understand what you're getting at, OP. Unfortunately, the only thing I can say is that you're gonna have to rock the boat a little if you want to dress your way. Transgender behavior is universally repugnant in this society, unfortunately, so I can definately understand what you're upset about. But in the end, if you want to do it, you'll be faced with stiff opposition and you should not let this stop you from realizing your own style. I'm 21 and in a virtually identical spot. I couldn't imagine shopping for women's clothes without everyone looking at me, or presenting like that without getting my ass kicked. It sucks and in the end, I guess you can't do much more than get over it. If you're the kind of person who doesn't care about what people think of you, this is a lot easier. Might be easier going with someone who supports you too, just a thought.
