yet another issue on the road to accepting my sexuality. I seem to keep hitting walls and honestly I am beginning to question my motivations. I have been coming to terms with being bisexual (before anyone goes there, it's been a while in the making and yes, I am sure I am attracted to both sexes... in different variations yes, but very much both). But what I have been trying to do is open my mind up to the LGBT community more since I was trying to learn to embrace my male-loving side. It's been alright. I met a couple gay guys I've made friends with and I feel comfortable with this. They are great friends actually. Only problem.... I feel very uncomfortable with all other aspects of the LGBT community. I have tried a couple events, bars, etc with my new found friends and in general I just feel extremely uncomfortable. I feel like I am trying to force myself to enjoy myself and then I began to wonder why? I have always been completely comfortable and happy with my straight side. I didn't feel like anything was missing. I wasn't secretly feeling lost or alone in a straight world. It's just I knew I had these side feelings, which I decided to give a chance. But now looking back over the past, wow, nearly a year... I don't think it is for me? It seems so confusing but I think it was all just forced.... or something. Like yes, I had and still have sexual attraction toward men. I have no emotional attraction and I have tried and failed. I have have both sexual and emotional attraction to females. I have enjoyed having sexual relationships with males over the past year but thats about as far as it goes. I don't feel more comfortable in my skin, I actually feel the opposite... I feel like how I think a gay person feels when they are living closeted in a straight world. Does anybody out there have a similar experience or know of similar experiences. I mean lets be honest... it's nearly been a year of exploration... I should have felt something click by now. Something should have felt 'right' about it. I find myself trying to convince myself that it feels right... and that I will get use to it.... when really I just don't?
I don't think I'd sweat it if I were you. You're bisexual leaning towards straight, and that's OK. If we're to believe that sexual orientation is a spectrum (which I believe to be true) then anywhere you fall on that spectrum is valid. So as long as your same sex attractions aren't interfering with your hetero attractions, then you're good. If you're fulfilled physically and emotionally with a woman, then go with that. I do think that it's great that you've explored this side of yourself. It couldn't have hurt.
