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Anxiety and fear

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jvn95, Jun 17, 2012.

  1. jvn95

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Texas. Yeeee haaaa!
    Hello,
    I am new to this site,

    I have recently admitted to myself that I'm probably gay, and The stress is killing me. I rushed and after figuring out that I may be gay I told my best friend, she is wonderful and was extremely tolerant. I knew that I could tell her and I don't regret it.

    I'm still having issues, every couple of days I get really anxious, my heart starts racing, I feel dizzy, I don't eat, and I feel like crying but nothing comes out, I feel like screaming, shouting, crying, laughing, sleeping and running all at once and I've never encountered this before.:bang: I still have a girlfriend, but still wondering if I should break up, and if so tell her way or just say nothing about it. The more I think about me being gay, the more I slip into all this deeper. I just don't know who to talk to that can relate. I seriously don't have any close gay friends I could talk to about what they went through coming out.

    I'm also afraid of what my friends and family will do and think of me. I know my mom wouldn't care, but I'm unsure of my dad and grandparents.

    It all added up, why I never wanted to kiss my girlfriends, why I fantasized being with my male best friends, why I felt the symptoms of being in love towards a man and never felt that way towards girls. I think I'm gay.

    But now I feel like I want to say "oh I was just kidding, I'm straight" and take back everything when I can't. Now I feel like I've stepped into Narnia and I can't go back the way I came. :icon_sad:

    I'm so confused and sad.
    I don't know how to handle this, who to talk to, and what to feel. :help:


    Any help is much appreciated.
    Thank you.
     
  2. lilyoflife

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    hey there, welcome to EC!

    What I can really say is that give yourself time and things will slowly seem clearer and easier, dont stress too much, we are always here to give whatever advice you may need.

    What you're feeling is quite normal, because acceptance of yourself is different to feeling accepted by others, especially your family members and your community. Your anxiety might be because you feel that being gay is some sort of deformity perhaps? It is nothing of the sort, as having blue eyes or green eyes might be considered as a deformity. Be reassured that just because some people disagree with your nature does not determine or define you as a person.